My life is a mess (how to fix problems effectively)
By
OptimistMinds
As a BetterHelp affiliate, we may receive compensation from BetterHelp if you purchase products or services through the links provided.
Author bio
The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter. The article then gets reviewed by a more senior editorial member. This is someone with extensive knowledge of the subject matter and highly cited published material.
In this brief guide, we will discuss the statement “my life is a mess” and how to fix problems you may have.
My life is a mess!
My life is a mess is a common refrain one may hear from teenagers or young adults. This is the emotion that comes out when you feel like your life is out of your control and there are things happening to you that you cannot do anything about.
When you feel this way it may feel like you’re losing yourself and you don’t know how to cope with the sadness, but do not be scared, there are many ways to deal with problems.
It is important to remember to never give up and make sure you keep moving forward, because no matter how big the problem, there is always a solution.
Signs your life is a mess
There are quite a few signs that your life is messy
You think negatively more often than positively.
This can be the first sign that someone’s life is messy and that I need to regain control of their life.
Whether your mood is happy, sad, or angry- you may find yourself still struggling on a day to day basis.
You feel like you may be burning out from work
Many people feel so overwhelmed that they decide to not do anything at all and just lie around, while the work piles up.
Or on the contrary, they do so much for fear of being overwhelmed that they tire themselves out physically and mentally, but they forget that that cannot go on forever.
Your house, room, or place of work is dirty and messy.
Clutter is one of the biggest signs that your life is a mess, even if you don’t know it yet.
While excessive cleaning and order can be problematic on its own, living in dirt and mess can make your mind just as dirty and messy and reduce your attention significantly.
Messines of your surroundings could also be suggestive of you not handling things in your life well.
Physical or mental health problems.
It is very much possible to prevent many stress-related issues that can eventually make your life feel like a mess.
Frequent symptoms and sicknesses in the body may be a sign to take better care of yourself, and that your life is a mess, and needs to be fixed.
Chronic stress can leave your body much weaker, so find ways to remove it from your life to reduce the mess.
Lack of focus and attention
A sense of purpose and concentration on goals is extremely important.
If you don’t know where you are going how will you ever figure out how to get there?
Where to start?
You say “my life is a mess”, but often the case is that you don’t actually know why or how it got that way.
The best thing to do is to first analyze the situation.
Why do you feel like your life is a mess? Are you failing school or college? Are you out of a job? Are you physically or mentally ill?
Sometimes even taking stock of your situation can lead to some great betterment and maybe you say that your life is a mess because you just haven’t got any perspective in some time.
Once you step back and take a look around you might actually find that your life is not really that messy, and it is never something you cannot fix.
Breathe, and Relax
My life is a mess is something someone suffering from anxiety or depression might say when you feel like you have no control over what is happening.
The first thing to do in a situation like this is to take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Count to 5 and think to yourself, is my life a mess, really, or am I just exaggerating things because of how my emotions are right now?
Very often you will find that getting your emotions under control can help you feel less messy instantly.
Also, remember that heightened emotions cloud your judgment, so if your life truly is messy, freaking out about it is not going to help you figure out what to do about it.
Also, in order to keep calm and go about fixing the mess, you think your life is, try to make relaxing practices.
Yoga is one such practice that is great for relaxation and clarity.
Another innovative thing you can do to improve your focus is using coloring books, one can find these for adults as well as teenagers and they are fantastic to focus attention.
These things and others you can find will help keep you in a good state of mind.
My life is a mess and I want to fix it
In some way admitting that your life is a mess and that you want to fix it is the best thing to do.
In order to rectify a situation you first have to admit it needs change.
It’s not something that is only happening to you, you are not alone, we have, we all go through a phase in our life that makes us exclaim “My life is a mess!”
Everything may seem out of control and haphazard, and once you’re that low it’s hard to figure out where to even start fixing things.
It will be futile to say that it will not be hard. However, with hard work and determination, you will get through it, because we all do eventually.
Steps to fix a messy life
Some steps to getting started on fixing the mess in your life are given here.
Acknowledge the mess you have
Acknowledge the mess you have because without it you won’t get anywhere.
Saying my life is a mess is probably a good thing because the first thing you have to do is recognize that you have a problem.
If you constantly reassure yourself and say that everything is fine, you will not have a need to fix anything.
The moment you decide that everything is fine the way it is and that your life can stay messy is the moment you stop helping yourself.
Figure out what is out of control and let go
When you think that your life is a mess, it can be due to a lot of things around you that are not happening in the manner they should.
It can be anything no matter how small, like a dirty and unorganized kitchen or serious things like losing a job or failing college.
The first thing you do is to figure out exactly what is bothering you the most.
It feels like a stupid thing to do and you may even feel like everything you do is pointless anyway but make a list, write down your problems.
Once you see it listed on paper you may struggle to actually think about what you want to put there, and you may realize that it really wasn’t as messy as you were thinking, and hey, maybe your life isn’t a mess after all!
Don’t get lost in imagining what could be and what isn’t
When you feel like your life is a mess, it’s often because you keep imaging all the other things it could be.
Acceptance is one of the first things to any solution.
Acceptance of your situation as well is extremely necessary if you’re going to fix your messy life at all.
You may have been moving forward too fast or had different expectations that did not turn out the way you wanted them to, but do not let that make you think that your entire life is a total mess.
You may have imagined that your life would not be a mess if you had a certain thing or if you achieved a certain goal, but then one day you see that the problems are still there.
Don’t convince yourself that there is some instant and magical solution to everything you feel is wrong in your life.
Once you stop idealizing and imagining a perfect life, you will start to realize that hey, my life is not a mess after all.
Start fixing your life effectively
You may want to fix your life but you may have no idea where to start. Let us see where you can start fixing the mess you feel your life is.
Before anything else, do an honest assessment of your overall condition right now.
Begin by giving a number to the major areas of your life, which may include your physical health, lifestyle, mental health, academic/work life, relationships, friends, and family. Think up any other domains that you think make a healthy person and rate those as well.
You fix the problems in your life one step at a time, nothing comes of rushing into things or trying to apply a quick fix to everything you may be suffering from.
Step one, therefore, is the rating you just did. That allows you an insight into how you’re doing, and self-awareness is key, in trying to figure out where the problem lies and how to fix it.
Start with the smallest thing
Never start with huge messes that intimidate you, no matter what you may have heard o the internet or from friends.
Experts suggest tackling a small task first, and riding the sense of achievement and success you feel from that task and using that to help with other, bigger problems.
Get your first step out of the way in a successful manner and then move on to progressively bigger things and before you know it, everything is done.
Think of it this way, everyone has to start somewhere, and if you had to clean a sink full of dishes wouldn’t you start somewhere?
Long term and short term goals.
Divide your list into long- and short-term goals.
You may find that you have more short-term goals and that is great.
Taking care of short-term goals is always great because you learn how you function and how you can achieve bigger and better things.
Always make sure to reward yourself when you achieve multiple short term goals or a long term goal.
The path to making your life un-messy is through achieving your goals.
Conclusion
In this brief guide, we discussed the statement “my life is a mess” and how to fix problems you may have. Please feel free to reach out with any questions or comments.
FAQ: My life is a mess
How do I fix my messed up life?
To fix your messed up life you can try a bunch of things.
· Try learning something New.
· Set short term goals in the morning.
· Clean you living space
· Try tackling things that scare you.
· Bring yourself to have fun and enjoy things
How can I be happy?
You can do a lot of things to be happy. You can smile, exercise, get good sleep, eat right, and count your blessings.
How do I stop being a mess?
To stop being a mess first you need to stop thinking yourself as one.
Stop noticing how you feel and focusing more on how you think and act you can feel much better.
You can also let go of worrying all the time and ignore the bad inner voice that tells you that you are a mess constantly.
How do I get my life on track?
To get your life back on track you need to first figure out where to start. Figure out where the problems are and rate what is most to least difficult to fix.
Once you have a sense of that start with little things and move to bigger ones.
Also, make sure you are not too hard on yourself.