Your question: Why do I get anxious around a certain person?
By
OptimistMinds
| Reviewed by
Dr. Mark Mohan Kaggwa
The contents of this article are fact-based except otherwise stated within the article.
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Author bio
The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter. The article then gets reviewed by a more senior editorial member. This is someone with extensive knowledge of the subject matter and highly cited published material.
Reviewer bio
Dr. Mark Mohan Kaggwa is a psychiatrist with experience in both clinical and research work. Major research contributions have been in forensic psychiatry, suicidology, medical education, and addiction psychiatry. He writes and reviews articles on these topics.
Brief bio
I have a wealth of expertise and experience in research and publication in psychiatry. I am a psychiatrist who has led and participated in several research projects and trainings, covering various topics such as addiction, forensic psychiatry, student mental health, and suicidology. I have a strong track record of mentoring and guiding early career researchers, especially students, to achieve academic excellence and recognition.
I have supervised and supported several students to publish their first peer-reviewed articles in high-impact journals such as the Lancet. Five of my mentees have received prestigious awards for their scientific contributions through publications, conference presentations, and travel grants. I derive great satisfaction and motivation from seeing others succeed and grow in their research careers.
Through mentoring activities, I have also enhanced my research and publication skills, resulting in over 70 publications in the past three years. My notable publications include several Lancet Psychiatry papers, widely cited and whose findings are implemented in various settings. I have also won several awards for my writing skills, such as the best journal article from the Royal College of Psychiatry Journals in August 2023.
Many of my articles have been featured on the cover pages of various journals, reflecting their significance and impact. I have also disseminated my research findings through conferences, seminars, and lectures, where I have been invited as a keynote speaker on three occasions.
I am passionate about solving real-world problems and improving the lives of people with mental health issues, especially those who are marginalized and vulnerable, through a team-based approach. I believe in training others to increase the field’s diversity of knowledge and perspectives.
I have extensive experience in data analysis, research methodology, design, and implementation science, which enables me to execute and train others effectively and efficiently. I am also a motivated team leader, an innovative problem solver, and a collaborative partner. My contribution is instrumental to this project’s success and advancing knowledge in this field.
Ongoing research projects:
- Self-harming behaviours among forensic patients in Ontario.
This project which started in December 2022, focuses on identifying the risks associated with physical self-harming behaviors and their related correlates
Role: Principal Investigator
- Suicide, all-cause mortality, and self-harming behaviours among forensic patients in Ontario.
This project is based on administrative databases to determine trends of suicide and all-cause mortality among forensic patients in Ontario. The project has been running since July 2023 to date
Role: Principal Investigator.
- Horticulture therapy’s role in reducing aggressive incidences among forensic patients in Ontario.
In this stepwise pragmatic cluster-randomized, we employ horticulture therapy in rehabilitating forensic patients in Ontario.
Role: Principal Investigator
- A preliminary study exploring the relationship between electroretinography waveforms and suicidal behaviour severity.
This project seeks to identify the waveforms that are related to suicidal behaviours among patients with depression. Recruitment for the study started in October 2023
Role: Principal Investigator
- Positions, Scientific Appointments, and Honors
| 2023 – present | American Psychiatry Association Colloquium fellow 2023, American Psychiatry Association, USA |
| 2022 – present | McMaster Forensic Psychiatry fellowship, McMasters University Department of Psychiatry and Behavioural Neuroscience, Hamilton, Canada |
| 2018 – 2021 | First Mile Fellowship (Masters support program), Massachusetts General Hospital Institute of Health Professions, USA
|
- Contributions to Science
- Suicidology epidemiology
I have been involved in projects investigating the prevalence of suicidal behaviours in various parts of the world. This work has reported the burden and associated factors among the following populations: university students, individuals affected by food insecurity, and those affected by the COVID-19 pandemic.
1) Kaggwa M.M, Akatussasira R, et. al. The global burden of suicidal behaviour among people experiencing food insecurity: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of Affective Disorders. 2023. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2023.09.012
2) Nahrin R, Al-Mamun F, Kaggwa M.M, et al. Prevalence and factors associated with suicidal ideation among students taking university entrance tests: revisited and a study based on Geographic Information System data. BJPsych Open. https://doi.org/10.1192/bjo.2023.526
3) Abaatyo, J., … Kaggwa, M.Ml. Suicidal behaviour among inpatients with severe mental conditions in a public mental health hospital in Uganda. BMC Psychiatry 23, 346 (2023). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-023-04858-x
4) Kaggwa MM, Nuwamanya S, Ashaba S, Rukundo GZ, Harms S. An Adolescent’s Use of Veterinary Medicines: A Case Report Exploring Addiction. Journal of Psychoactive Drugs. 2021/08/08 2021;53(4):339-344. doi:10.1080/02791072.2021.1873466
5) Kaggwa MM, Muwanguzi M, Nduhuura E, et al. Suicide among Ugandan university students: evidence from media reports for 2010–2020. BJPsych International. 2021;18(3):63-67. doi:10.1192/bji.2021.13
6) Mamun MA, Al Mamun F, Hosen I, … Kaggwa MM, et al. Suicidality in Bangladeshi Young Adults During the COVID-19 Pandemic: The Role of Behavioral Factors, COVID-19 Risk and Fear, and Mental Health Problems. Risk Manag Healthc Policy. 2021;14:4051-4061. doi:10.2147/rmhp.S330282
7) Kaggwa MM, Arinaitwe I, Muwanguzi M, et al. Suicidal behaviours among Ugandan university students: a cross-sectional study. BMC Psychiatry. 2022/04/01 2022;22(1):234. doi:10.1186/s12888-022-03858-7
8) Kaggwa MM, Mamun MA, Najjuka SM, et al. Gambling-related suicide in East African Community countries: evidence from press media reports. BMC Public Health. Jan 24 2022;22(1):158. doi:10.1186/s12889-021-12306-2
9) Kaggwa MM, Rukundo GZ, Wakida EK, et al. Suicide, and Suicide Attempts Among Patients Attending Primary Health Care Facilities in Uganda: A Medical Records Review. Risk Manag Healthc Policy. 2022;15:703-711. doi:10.2147/rmhp.S358187
10) Rukundo GZ, Wakida EK, Maling S, Kaggwa MM, et al. Knowledge, attitudes, and experiences in suicide assessment and management: a qualitative study among primary health care workers in southwestern Uganda. BMC Psychiatry. Sep 12 2022;22(1):605. doi:10.1186/s12888-022-04244-z
11) Manouchehri A, Marznaki ZH, Atim LM, Mohammadian Amiri M, Kaggwa MM. The relationship between causes of suicidal attempts in Iran and individual and social variables: a retrospective study. BMC Psychiatry. Dec 12 2022;22(1):780. doi:10.1186/s12888-022-04449-2
12) Kaggwa MM, Najjuka SM, Favina A, Griffiths MD, Mamun MA. Suicidal behaviors and associated factors among medical students in Africa: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of Affective Disorders Reports. 2022/12/09/ 2022:100456. doi:10.1016/j.jadr.2022.100456
13) Al-Mamun, F., Kaggwa, M.M., Hosen, I. et al. Suicide related to the COVID-19 pandemic in India: A systematic review. Discov Psychol 3, 2 (2023). https://doi.org/10.1007/s44202-022-00063-1
- University student’s mental health
Following my experience as a student and seeing many of my colleagues face vast challenges in their pursuit of knowledge. I investigated various aspects of university students’ mental health to find solutions to an ever-growing problem. I have published a few peer-reviewed articles on subjects ranging from depression, burnout, behavioural addictions, and sexual risk behaviours, among others.
1) Kaggwa MM, Devine J, and Harms S. The opioid crisis fuelled by health systems: how will future physicians fare? BJPsych International, 2023, 1-3, https://doi.org/10.1192/bji.2023.12
2) Sserunkuuma, J., Kaggwa, M. M., et al. Problematic use of the internet, smartphones, and social media among medical students and relationship with depression: An exploratory study. Plos One, 18(5), e0286424. https://doi.org/10.6084/m9.figshare.22794644
3) Kajjimu J, Kaggwa MM, Bongomin F. Burnout and associated factors among medical students in a public university in Uganda: A cross-sectional study. Adv Med Educ Pract. 2021;12:63-75. doi:10.2147/amep.S287928
4) Al Mamun F, Hosen I, Misti JM, Kaggwa MM, Mamun MA. Mental Disorders of Bangladeshi Students During the COVID-19 Pandemic: A Systematic Review. Psychology research and behavior management. 2021;14:645-654. doi:10.2147/PRBM.S315961
5) Najjuka SM, Checkwech G, Olum R, Ashaba S, Kaggwa MM. Depression, anxiety, and stress among Ugandan university students during the COVID-19 lockdown: an online survey. Afr Health Sci. Dec 2021;21(4):1533-1543. doi:10.4314/ahs.v21i4.6
6) Kaggwa MM, Kajjimu J, Sserunkuma J, et al. Prevalence of burnout among university students in low- and middle-income countries: A systematic review and meta-analysis. PLoS One. 2021;16(8):e0256402. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0256402
7) Kaggwa MM, Arinaitwe I, Nduhuura E, et al. Prevalence and Factors Associated With Depression and Suicidal Ideation During the COVID-19 Pandemic Among University Students in Uganda: A Cross-Sectional Study. Front Psychiatry. 2022;13:842466. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2022.842466
8) Kihumuro RB, Kaggwa MM, Kintu TM, et al. Knowledge, attitude and perceptions of medical students towards mental health in a university in Uganda. BMC Med Educ. Oct 20 2022;22(1):730. doi:10.1186/s12909-022-03774-0
9) Kihumuro RB, Kaggwa MM, Nakandi RM, et al. Perspectives on mental health services for medical students at a Ugandan medical school. BMC Med Educ. Oct 25 2022;22(1):734. doi:10.1186/s12909-022-03815-8
10) Kaggwa MM, Muwanguzi M, Najjuka SM, et al. Risky sexual behaviours among Ugandan university students: A pilot study exploring the role of adverse childhood experiences, substance use history, and family environment. PLoS One. 2022;17(11):e0277129. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0277129
11) Muwanguzi, M., Kaggwa, MM., et al. Exploring adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) among Ugandan university students: its associations with academic performance, depression, and suicidal ideations. BMC Psychology, 2023/01/13.
- Influence of family caregivers and peer influence on patient’s mental health
From the unique perspective of using caregivers in caring for mental health patients in Mbarara Regional Referral Hospital. I embarked on understanding their roles, burdens, and significance in patients’ recovery. I continued to explore this in different populations, such as those involved in the criminal justice system. In this adventurous journey, I published a few peer-reviewed articles.
1) Kaggwa, M.M, Olagunju, A.T, Prat, S, Harms, S, and Chaimowitz, G. Peer support mental health teams in correctional settings in Uganda. Lancet Psychiatry, January 2023. https://doi.org/10.1016/S2215-0366(22)00431-X.
2) Kaggwa MM, Najjuka MS, Kesande C, et al. Length of stay of hospitalized patients at tertiary psychiatry facilities in Uganda: the role of caregiver’s presence. Discover Mental Health. 022/07/04 2022;2(1):15. doi:10.1007/s44192-022-00018-x
3) Kaggwa, M.M, Najjuka SM, Mamun, MA, Griffiths, MD, Nyemara, N, and Ashaba, S. Involvement and burden of informal caregivers of patients with mental illness: the mediating role of affiliated stigma. BMC Psychiatry. January 2023. http://dx.doi.org/10.1186/s12888-023-04553-x
4) Nuwamanya S, Nkola R, Najjuka SM, et al. Kaggwa MM. Depression in Ugandan caregivers of cancer patients: The role of coping strategies and social support. Psychooncology. Oct 26 2022;doi:10.1002/pon.6057
5) Najjuka SM, Iradukunda A, Kaggwa MM, et. Al., The caring experiences of family caregivers for patients with advanced cancer in Uganda: A qualitative study. Plos One, October 2023.
- Mental healthcare and psychiatry epidemiology in Uganda
I have also contributed to understanding Uganda’s mental healthcare system through written commentaries, perspectives, reviews, and primary research.
1) Kaggwa MM, Harms S, Mamum M, A. Mental health in Uganda. Lancet Psychiatry; 2022. Oct;9(10):766-767. doi: 10.1016/S2215-0366(22)00305-4.
2) Kaggwa MM, Najjuka SM, Bongomin F, Mamun MA, Griffiths MD. Prevalence of depression in Uganda: A systematic review and meta-analysis. PLoS One. 2022;17(10):e0276552. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0276552
3) Abaatyo J, Kaggwa MM, Favina A, and Olagunju AT. Readmission and associated clinical factors among individuals admitted with bipolar affective disorder at a psychiatry facility in Uganda. BMC Psychiatry, 23, 474 (2023). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-023-04960-0
4) Abaatyo, J., Favina, A. & Kaggwa, M.M. Absconding among admitted patients with bipolar affective disorder diagnosis in Uganda. BMC Psychiatry 23, 318 (2023).
5) Anyayo L, Ashaba S, Kaggwa MM, Maling S, Nakimuli-Mpungu E. Health-related quality of life among patients with bipolar disorder in rural southwestern Uganda: a hospital-based cross-sectional study. Health and Quality of Life Outcomes. 2021/03/10 2021;19(1):84. doi:10.1186/s12955-021-01729-5
6) Kaggwa MM, Namatanzi B, Kule M, et al. Depression in Ugandan Rural Women Involved in a Money Saving Group: The Role of Spouse’s Unemployment, Extramarital Relationship, and Substance Use. Int J Womens Health. 2021;13:869-878. doi:10.2147/ijwh.S323636
7) Kaggwa MM, Acai A, Rukundo GZ, Harms S, Ashaba S. Patients’ perspectives on the experience of absconding from a psychiatric hospital: a qualitative study. BMC Psychiatry. 2021/07/26 2021;21(1):371. doi:10.1186/s12888-021-03382-0
8) Kaggwa MM, Najjuka SM, Harms S, Ashaba S. Mortality Among Patients Admitted in a Psychiatric Facility: A Single-Centre Review. Clinical Audit. 2021 2021-06-17 2021;13:21-28. doi:10.2147/CA.S308757
9) Kaggwa MM, Nkola R, Najjuka SM, Bongomin F, Ashaba S, Mamun MA. Extrapyramidal Side Effects in a Patient with Alcohol Withdrawal Symptoms: A Reflection of Quality of the Mental Health Care System. Risk Manag Healthc Policy. 2021;14:2789-2795. doi:10.2147/rmhp.S314451
You can view some of my scholastic work from the following
eRA COMMONS: ORCID ID: https://orcid.org/0000-0002-4733-154X
Scopus Author ID: https://www.scopus.com/authid/detail.uri?authorId=57221518864
Researchgate ID: https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Mark-Kaggwa
Loop profile: https://loop.frontiersin.org/people/926359/overview
Semantic Scholar Link: https://www.semanticscholar.org/author/Mark-Mohan-Kaggwa/2046806840
Google scholar: https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=pPNqr_AAAAAJ&hl=en
My reply:
Hi, I hope this message finds you well. My name is Cesar Guedez, a psychologist trained in cognitive behavioral therapy.
Anxiety is an unpleasant experience because although it is necessary for our survival, it also triggers a series of physical and psychological symptoms that cause us discomfort. In short, anxiety is a reaction of the body to a real or imagined threat. Our brain sends signals to our body to act when it considers that a situation, thing, animal or person could harm us in some way.
Therefore, even if the situation itself is not dangerous or frightening, anxiety makes you feel that it is. There are many ways to experience anxiety, in this blog we will focus on anxiety that arises when interacting with specific people. It should be noted that this is not the same as social anxiety, as in anxiety the fear or worry of interacting is generated, i.e. it is not with specific people.
There can be many reasons why someone in particular generates anxiety for you, and it all relates to your belief system around that person. For example, if you believe that person is threatening, if you are romantically attracted to that person, if you have had negative experiences with that person in the past, or if that person is someone who brings up personal insecurities.
Either way, anxiety can be treated and lessened so that it does not impede daily functioning.
What questions should you ask yourself?
To get to the source of anything, people must question themselves. In your case, you need to answer a series of questions to find out where your anxiety is going with this particular person and what you can do to solve it.
Who is this person?
You should specify whether the person in question is an acquaintance, e.g., family member, partner, friend, boss, teacher or classmate. In this case, there is something in the dynamic between you and this person that triggers your anxiety. This does not necessarily imply that the person is aggressive towards you, it may also represent a persistent concern about that person.
For example, the anxiety that your teacher generates in you is caused because he/she is demanding at the time of evaluations, the anxiety that your partner generates in you is caused because they have a pending conversation that you are afraid to confront, the anxiety that your father generates in you is caused because he has been ill recently, and you are afraid that something serious might happen to him.
Why are you anxious?
Now, you must answer the reason why that person in question. This may be difficult to do, because in states of anxiety the mind becomes fuzzy and it is hard to concentrate. But you should try to focus on what are the specific details related to the person in question that makes you anxious.
It is useful to keep a diary in which you write down what was happening at the time of the anxiety episode. For example, you received a severe scolding from your boss and that triggered your anxiety, in the future you are likely to feel anxious just being around your boss.
What if it’s a stranger?
If a stranger is the cause of your anxiety, the origin is probably related to personal insecurities. For example, if you see an attractive person who exudes confidence, you may feel anxious about being around that person simply because you are attracted to him or her, or you may feel self-conscious about not being like him or her.
It is also possible that the origin of your anxiety about a stranger is related to the fact that you find them intimidating because of their physical appearance, and although they have not caused you direct harm, they’re mere presence makes you uncomfortable.
Could it be social anxiety?
On the other hand, if the feeling of anxiety appears with more than one person, and is related to concern or fear of being judged by others in social settings, it could be a problem of social anxiety. Social anxiety occurs when the person faces difficulties in performing normally in social settings, and situations such as a class presentation, a work meeting or a party with friends can become an overwhelming experience (1).
How can you confront your anxiety related to a certain person?
You can’t control what other people do, but you can control your reactions to it. Therefore, working with anxiety is a very individual thing. If your anxiety persists, it is advisable to seek professional attention. Here are some techniques you can apply to lessen your feelings of anxiety when you are around a particular person:
Examine your thoughts
If you have already found the person causing your anxiety and the source of your anxiety, you have already taken a valuable step. Now, you should be aware that, when you surround yourself with the person who causes your anxiety, you will have thoughts that will make you feel fear. Those thoughts you must confront, for example, if you think “my boss is going to scold me today,” the rational response would be “if I haven’t done anything wrong at my job why would he scold me?”
Improve your communication strategies.
It is likely that your anxiety has been maintained because you do not have assertive communication. Being clear and direct with the people who cause us discomfort serves to vent your pent-up emotions and possibly to generate changes in the dynamics. If, for example, your sister who has rude attitudes is the cause of your anxiety, you should consider making it clear to her that her attitudes make you feel bad.
Reinforce your self-esteem and confidence
If the person causing your anxiety is a stranger that you find attractive or intimidating, either because of their attractiveness, intelligence, or because they convey confidence, the work should be with your self-worth. You must remind yourself first, that you have positive qualities and second, that comparisons with other people are useless because at first glance we do not know the defects of that person who seems perfect.
In my experience…
Having anxiety about a specific person can be very overwhelming, since in most cases you are unable to simply avoid or ignore the person in question. Therefore, the work with your anxiety should be focused on your own improvement and desire to improve, finding specific strategies that allow you to have control when you feel episodes of anxiety caused by that person.
I believe you have the ability to improve and heal these feelings of discomfort you are experiencing now. The fact that you are seeking professional help through this message proves it to me, and I applaud you for making that decision and being on track to improve your mental health and overall, your physical health.
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References
Take Control of Your Anxiety Today: Personalized Counseling with BetterHelp
