Your friends will abandon you: 7 Signs

In this blog we present to you signs that indicate that your frinds will abandon you.

We will also discuss some of the things you can do to cope if your friend’s abandon you. 

Your friends will abandon you: 7 Signs

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Signs that indicate that the people you call your friends will eventually abandon you include:

They are never there for you

True friends who understand and care for you will stick with you through thick and thin. If these people that you consider friends are not there for you in times of trouble, it is possible that they are fickle friends. 

Fair weather friends often abandon their friends when they are struggling. They are not your true friends and they are only there during the good times. 

These kinds of friendships are called “fair weather friendships” and when things get rough they tend to let go because they see no use of having you in the group any more. Such friendships are better off broken. 

They come to you for their needs

If you have noticed that these friends of yours only come to you because they need something- like a car ride, some money, or when they want their emotional needs met, it is possible that these friends will not remain with you for a long time. 

It appears that these friends, if they do all of this, are people who are using you and if they no longer get what they want from you, they will eventually leave you. 

They seem to be emotionally occupied

If your friends are struggling with their own lives perhaps because of finances, family issues, addictions, as well as other behavioural problems- it is likely that these friends will not be by your side for long. 

It is possible that some of your friends who are emotionally occupied with their own life, will eventually abandon you because they are unable to be present in the relationship that they share with you. This could be why they seemingly abandon you. 

They say you are hurting them

In the case that your friends keep on holding interventions for any unhealthy behaviours- it is possible that they have been hurt by your behaviour which you might have done unknowingly so they might choose to leave you as a way to protect themselves. 

Sometimes our patterns of behaviour can negatively impact others even if we do not mean to hurt them or cause pain, while true friends might stay by your side it is likely that they, as individuals themselves, might eventually pull away from you for their own safety and mental health. 

They are busy 

It is possible that friends who are busy with their own lives will eventually leave you because they are too occupied with their own work, their own responsibilities etc. 

They are not meant to be a part of your life because time has caused you to drift apart due to personal responsibilities and other things that they have going on in their lives. 

They are starting a new phase in their lives

When friends start a new phase in their lives- for example, parenthood- it’s likely that these friends will eventually abandon you for other people who are also in the same stage of their lives. 

This is a common change that occurs in the lives of people because it is easier to mingle with like minded people and it is also easier to coordinate lives with people in the same phase of their lives. 

They do not respect you

Another sign that your friends will eventually leave you is when they are not respectful of your boundaries as a person. 

This means that they are using you and your resources. In such cases, it is likely that these frinds of yours will eventually leave you after they are done making use of whatever they are using you for- money, fame, time etc. 

When friends abandon you: What to do next?

Here are a few things that you can do if your friends have abandoned you:

Talk To Them About It

The best thing you can do about this situation is to talk to them about it. Don’t confront them and avoid accusing them of anything and everything. 

The best thing you can do is to assertively talk about how you have been feeling in this friendship, and that you would appreciate some clarity as to what this friendship means to either of you. 

If this friend of yours is really a friend who cares about you, it is likely that they too will share their side of the story and the confusion for both sides will clear up.

Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling

This means that you be kind to yourself when you are dealing with your feelings or lack of any feeling, thoughts etc as a result of the abandonment. 

Whatever the feeling is- be it anger, sadness, shame, anxiety, grief whatever it is allow yourself to feel them even if it is difficult to do so. At times one might choose to directly deal with these difficult feelings and thoughts while for some they might deal with it by not dealing with it. 

However, we advise you to work through these feelings by feeling them wholly without judging yourself for it. 

Seek Out a Therapist

When friends abandon you, you have to understand that estrangement within the friend group is a very complex issue and it can oftentimes be a traumatic experience. 

This is why it is important that you reach out to someone- usually a professional- for help if you need it. It is advisable that you seek out professional help to process the difficult emotions and the aftermath of the experience. 

There are therapists who specialise in this particular situation aim to provide unbiased support, psycho-education regarding estrangement, and also provide you with coping tools.

While you might be in shock and feel that this experience does not affect you or you feel like it is “good riddance” on your part, we still advise you to seek out professional support to work out any feelings- even if it is anger, shock, or denial about what has happened. 

Be Patient With Your Process

It is important that during this time, you are patient and kind to yourself as you go through the motions. 

This means that you be kind to yourself when you are dealing with your feelings or lack of any feeling, thoughts etc as a result of the abandonment. 

At times one might choose to directly deal with these difficult feelings and thoughts while for some they might deal with it by not dealing with it. 

In any case, it is important that you allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling while remembering to be non-judgemental to yourself about how you are processing this entire situation.

Surround Yourself With Supportive People

If you have been abandoned by your friends and have found that the people around you do not understand nor are they willing to understand, one choice that you do have is to seek support from other people. 

It is challenging to accept that the people you love the most do not understand your condition but that does not mean that you remain lacking in support. 

You can also choose to seek out group support for people- friends and supporters who are able to be present with you during this difficult time. 

Focus on self-care

While it might be hard to take care of yourself- you might find it hard to eat, wash, wake up, and do other basic things. 

It is okay to allow yourself to let yourself go for a few days but making the effort to stick to routine and structure in your day to day life can help you move forward. 

Taking care of your physical needs is very important as it is a way to care for yourself. Taking care of your emotional needs is also important and you can work towards emotional self care after taking care of your physical needs first. 

You can choose to make new changes that help you feel better or healthier like going to the gym, changing your diet to a more healthy one, going for wants. Sometimes change in routines can also be your way of caring for yourself. 

Make new friends.

One part of moving forward after such a negative experience is to make new friends, who say you can’t. 

You can change your own social life and choose to make friends with people who are accepting of you for who you are and those who understand what friendships mean.

Making new friends can be hard especially after experiencing something like abandonment, however, you have to understand that you are worthy of good friends and worthy of being loved. 

Conclusion

In this blog we presented to you signs that indicate that your friends will abandon you.

We also discussed some of the things you can do to cope if your friend’s abandon you. 

Faq related to Your friends will abandon you: 7 Signs

How do you tell if your friends are abandoning you?

When your friends are abandoning you, the first thing you will notice is that they are responind to your calls or messages and they are leaving you out when they make plans. 

 When should you give up on your friends?

When the people you call friends are causing you harm- physically and emotionally to the point that it is interfering with your health, your life, your safety, and causing you intense stress- it is time to take a step back and create some distance between you and them. 

Why does abandonment hurt so much?

When someone you trust abandons you, you have to understand that estrangement within these important relationships is a very complex issue and it can oftentimes be a traumatic experience. The reason why it hurts so much is because of the ultimate betrayal from the people that you trusted the most.

Is it okay to abandon friends?

Yes, When the people you call friends are causing you harm- physically and emotionally- it is okay to create some space between you and them or even walk away from them to give yourself time and space to process your feelings and gain clarity.

What are the signs that a friendship is over?

The most obvious sign that a friendship is over when there is nothing in common to talk about. Friendships tend to run it’s course over time and as people grow apart it is likely that the friendship will eventually fizzle out. 

Who are toxic friends?

Toxic friends are those friends that leave you exhausted, frustrated, and disappointed all the time. 

These are people that make you feel small and insignificant as well as those who use you for resources and abandon you when they don’t need you. 

References

Ashley Benoit. 8 Things You Should Do When Your Friend Group Abandons You. Teen Vogue. Retrieved on 4th April 2022. https://www.teenvogue.com/story/friendship-breakup-advice

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