Words of encouragements for abuse victims (55+)

Words of encouragements for abuse victims

•  “At any given moment you have the power to say this is not how the story is going to end.” ― Christine Mason Miller 
• “The boys had always been her reason to stay, but now for the first time they were her reason to leave. She’d allowed violence to become a normal part of their life.” ― Liane Moriarty
• “Sometimes the shame is not the beatings, not the rape. The shaming is in being asked to stand judgment.” ― Meena Kandasamy
• “You can recognize survivors of abuse by their courage. When silence is so very inviting, they step forward and share their truth so others know they aren’t alone.” ― Jeanne McElvaney
• “Abusers – they’ll manipulate and they’ll lie to you. And when you no longer give them that power, they’ll try to manipulate your family or the people close to you instead. Abusers want everyone to hate you just as much as they do. It’s sick. Their lack of morals and integrity is sick. The amount of hate they harbor in their hearts is sick, as are their psychopathic or sociopathic traits.”― LaTasha “Tacha B.” Braxton
• “Never forget that walking away from something unhealthy is brave even if you stumble a little on your way out the door.” ― Unknown
• “I was heartbroken, scared, I had a lot of anxiety, I was worried, I felt weak, and I had no idea how I was ever going to come up with the strength. But I just closed my eyes and took a blind leap. I knew I had to get out of there.” ― Bob Casey Jr
• “When it comes to abuse, you believe there’s no way out. There is always help. There is always a way out.” ― Rev. Donna Mulvey
• “Leaving an abusive partner is a very difficult thing to do. It frequently feels like you are failing, or destroying your family, or not trying to work things out, or not giving your partner a second chance.” ― Blaine Nelson
• “Never let someone who contributes so little to a relationship control so much of it.” ― Unknown
• “The more that we choose not to talk about domestic violence, the more we shy away from the issue, the more we lose.” ― Russell Wilson
• “I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” — Brené Brown
• “Each time a woman stands up for herself without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.” — Maya Angelou
• “Grief does not demand pity; It requests acknowledgment.” ― Jude Gibbs
• “Trauma may happen to you, but it can never define you.” ― Melinda Longtin
• “It doesn’t matter how rich or poor a person is, what gender or social class, or how much fame or education she possesses. Verbal, mental, and physical abuse can happen to anyone. It doesn’t matter what a woman’s ethnicity is because the only distinguishing color of abuse is black-and-blue.” ― La Toya Jackson
• “Don’t judge yourself by what others did to you.” — Cody Kennedy
• “From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story. A story that says, -I survived.” ― Fr. Craig Scott
• “I realize now I am a survivor. I am a stronger woman for opening my eyes and stepping away from someone who didn’t respect themselves and would never respect me.” ―  Lori
• “And here you are living despite it all.” — Rupi Kaur​
• “Survivor Psalm: I have been victimized. I was in a fight that was not a fair fight. I did not ask for the fight. I lost. There is no shame in losing such fights. I have reached the stage of survivor and am no longer a slave of victim status. I look back with sadness rather than hate. I look forward with hope rather than despair. I may never forget, but I need not constantly remember. I was a victim. I am a survivor.” — Unknown
• “After a while I looked in the mirror and realized…wow, after all those hurts, scars, and bruises, after all of those trials, I really made it through. I did it. I survived that which was supposed to kill me. So I straightened my crown…and walked away like a boss.”— Unknown
• “The enemy doesn’t stand a chance when the victim decides to survive.” — Rae Smith
• “Someone once asked me how I hold my head up so high after all I have been through. I said it’s because no matter what, I am a survivor, not a victim.” — Patricia Buckley
• “Please know that you can get out and it will not always be an easy road, and it will be lonely at times. But it only gets better, life is too beautiful to live it trapped and abused and hiding under the shame of it all.” — Overcoming the Stigma of Intimate Partner Abuse
• “It is not the bruises on the body that hurt. It is the wounds of the heart and the scars on the mind.” — Aisha Mirza
• “One day, I plan to love so loudly, my body abandons every demon harvesting me.” — Arati Warrier
• “Today I wore a pair of faded old jeans and a plain grey baggy shirt. I hadn’t even taken a shower, and I did not put on an ounce of makeup. I grabbed a worn out black oversized jacket to cover myself with even though it is warm outside. I have made conscious decisions lately to look like less of what I felt a male would want to see. I want to disappear.” ― Sierra D. Waters
• “Use the darkness of your past to propel you to a brighter future.” ― Donata Joseph
• “Why didn’t I report it? Because when you are sexually assaulted by a relative, it’s terribly complicated. Initially, I felt shocked, numb, and powerless. Keep in mind, sexual assault is an act of violence; not sex. In addition, sexual assault is about power. It’s common for victims to feel helpless.” ― Dana Arcuri
• “You survived the abuse, you’re going to survive the recovery.” — Mariska Hargitay
• “Overcoming abuse doesn’t just happen, It takes positive steps everyday. Let today be the day you start to move forward.” ― Assunta Harris
• “In addition to reaching out for help, you will also need to reach within yourself. Your biggest ally will be your emotions. Through them, you will learn more about what really happened to you, how the abuse affected you, and what you need to do in order to heal. Your emotions will enable you to reclaim the self you long ago hid away.” ― Beverly Engel
• “Your growth comes not as you work harder to get something you don’t have, but as you live in the reality of what you have already been given.” — Nancy Guthrie
• “Trauma creates change you don’t choose. Healing is about creating change you do choose.” — Michelle Rosenthall​
• “If you want to know where to find your contribution to the world, look at your wounds. When you learn how to heal them, teach others.” — Emily Maroutian
• “Our wounds are our sources of growth.”— Rachel Naomi Remen​
• “You survived the abuse. You’re gonna survive the recovery.” — Olivia Benson
• “Don’t light yourself on fire trying to brighten someone else’s existence.” — Unknown
• “If we are to fight discrimination and injustice against women we must start from the home for if a woman cannot be safe in her own house then she cannot be expected to feel safe anywhere.” ― Aysha Taryam
• “Survivors of abuse show us the strength of their personal spirit every time they smile.” ― Jeanne McElvaney
• “Abuse is the weakest expression of strength. It is weakness to destroy what you ought to protect, build and make better.” ― Kingsley Opuwari Manuel
• “The best revenge is creating your own happiness despite a person’s wish to take you down.” ― Melinda Longtin
• “You are not the darkness you endured. You are the light that refused to surrender.” ― John Mark Green
• “Don’t let someone who doesn’t know your value tell you how much you’re worth.” ― Unknown
• “I have the power to change my physical and emotional experience.” ― Patricia Dsouza
• “Survivors of abuse show us the strength of their personal spirit every time they smile.” ― Jeanne McElvaney
• “Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.” —​Rikki Rogers
• “To be rendered powerless doesn’t destroy your humanity. Your resilience is your humanity. The only people who lose their humanity are those who believe they have the right to render another human being powerless. They are the weak. To yield and not break, that is incredible strength.” — ​Hannah Gadsby
• “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” — Carl Jung
• “We do learn so much about ourselves in our experiences. But also, know that it shouldn’t have happened. This was not a lesson you needed to learn.” — Jordan Pickell, trauma therapist
• “To be rendered powerless doesn’t destroy your humanity. Your resilience is your humanity. The only people who lose their humanity are those who believe they have the right to render another human being powerless. They are the weak. To yield and not break, that is incredible strength”—​Hannah Gadsby
• “Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t”—​Rikki Rogers
• “Your growth comes not as you work harder to get something you don’t have, but as you live in the reality of what you have already been given”—Nancy Guthrie
• “And here you are living despite it all”—Rupi Kaur​
• “If you want to know where to find your contribution to the world, look at your wounds. When you learn how to heal them, teach others”—Emily Maroutian​
• “I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do”—Brené Brown
• “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become”—Carl Jung
• “Anyone can hide. Facing up to things, working through them, that’s what makes you strong”—Sarah Dessen​
• “There are two powers in the world; one is the sword and the other is the pen. There is a third power strong than both, that of women”—Malala Yousafzai​
• “Survivor Psalm: I have been victimized. I was in a fight that was not a fair fight. I did not ask for the fight. I lost. There is no shame in losing such fights. I have reached the stage of survivor and am no longer a slave of victim status. I look back with sadness rather than hate. I look forward with hope rather than despair. I may never forget, but I need not constantly remember. I was a victim. I am a survivor”—Unknown
• “I am not a victim. No matter what I have been through, I’m still here. I have a history of victory”—Dr. Steve Maraooli​
• “Our wounds are our sources of growth”—Rachel Naomi Remen​
• “When I talk about my trauma I am not asking you to carry it or relieve me from it”—Blythe Baird
• “After a while I looked in the mirror and realized…wow, after all those hurts, scars, and bruises, after all of those trials, I really made it through. I did it. I survived that which was supposed to kill me. So I straightened my crown…and walked away like a boss”—Unknown
• “The enemy doesn’t stand a chance when the victim decides to survive”—Rae Smith
• “Survivors of abuse show us the strength of their personal spirit every time they smile”—Jeanne Mcelvaney​
• “A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles”—Christopher Reeve
• “Someone once asked me how I hold my head up so high after all I have been through. I said it’s because no matter what, I am a survivor, not a victim”—Patricia Buckley“You’re not a victim for sharing your story. You are a survivor setting the world on fire with your truth. And you never know who needs your light, your warmth and raging courage”—Alex Elle
• “You survived the abuse. You’re gonna survive the recovery”—Olivia Benson
• “Please know that you can get out and it will not always be an easy road, and it will be lonely at times. But it only gets better, life is too beautiful to live it trapped and abused and hiding under the shame of it all”—Anonymous
• “So often survivors have had their experiences denied, trivialized, or distorted. Writing is an important avenue for healing because it gives you the opportunity to define your own reality”—Ellen Bass
• “Each time a woman stands up for herself without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women”—Maya Angelou
• “One day, I plan to love so loudly, my body abandons every demon harvesting me”—Arati Warrier
• “Has he ever trapped you in a room and not let you out? Has he ever raised a fist as if he were going to hit you? Has he ever thrown an object that hit you or nearly did? Has he ever held you down or grabbed you to restrain you? Has he ever grabbed, shoved, or poked you? Has he ever threatened to hurt you? If the answer to any of these queries is yes, then let’s stop wondering whether he’ll be violent or not; he already has been.” – Lundy Bancroft
• “Now let’s move on to the subject of how a real man treats his wife. A real man doesn’t slap even a ten-dollar hooker around, if he has any self-respect, much less hurt his own woman. Much less ten times over the mother of his kids. A real man works his ass off to provide for his family, fights for them if need be, dies for them if he must. And he treats his wife with respect every day of his life, treats her as if she was queen – the queen of the home that she makes for their children.” – S.M. Stirling
• “Domestic violence causes far more pain than the visible marks of bruises and scars. It is devastating to be abused by someone that you love and think loves you in return.” – Unknown
• “All violence consists of some people forcing others, under threat of suffering or death, to do what they do not want to do.” – Leo Tolstoy
• “The healthy man does not torture others. Generally, it is the tortured who turn into torturers.” – Carl Jung
• “I am living in hell from one day to the next. But I can’t do anything to escape it. I have no idea where I would go if I did. I feel completely powerless, and this feeling is my prison. I did this out of my own free will, I locked the door, and I threw away the key.” – Haruki Murakami
• “The guarantee of safety in a battering relationship can never be based upon a promise from the perpetrator, no matter how heartfelt. Rather, it must be based upon the self-protective capability of the victim. Until the victim has developed a detailed and realistic contingency plan and has demonstrated her ability to carry it out, she remains in danger of repeated abuse.” – Judith Lewis Herman
• “She could just pack up and leave, but she does not visualize what’s beyond ahead.” – Núria Añó
• “Today I was dressed in faded old jeans and a plain grey baggy shirt. I didn’t take a shower, and I didn’t put on any makeup. I grabbed an old black oversized jacket to cover myself with despite the warm weather. I have made concrete decisions lately to look like less of what I felt a male would want to see. I want to disappear.” – Sierra D. Waters
• “Domestic violence is frequently excused when alcohol and other substances are involved.” – Asa Don Brown
• “It is impossible to correct abuses unless we know that they’re going on.” – Unknown
• “I’ve heard that people stand in bad situations because a relationship like that gets turned up by degrees. It is said that a frog will jump out of a pot of boiling water. Place him in a pot and turn it up a little at a time, and he will stay until he is boiled to death. Us frogs understand this.” – Deb Caletti
• “The next time the abuser tells you that the reason he is abusive towards you is something you have done, remind yourself that no one is ever responsible for another person’s actions. The next time the abuser tells you that he wouldn’t get so angry with you if you would just try harder, remind yourself of how hard you have been trying and how little effect your efforts have had on his actions. And most important, the next time you are lying in bed crying over something the abuser had said or done, remind yourself of who you were before you met him.” – Source Unknown
• “What are you going to do? Will you live in the dark, locked in there? Afraid to look out, answer the door, leave? Yes, he is out there, and he’s obviously not going to leave you alone until one of three things happens: he hurts you and gets arrested, or he commits a mistake and gets arrested, or you stop him.” – Rachel Caine
• “A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn’t want for her daughter, nor allow any man to treat her in a way she could scold her son for.” – Unknown
• “Never forget that walking away from something unhealthy is brave even if you stumble a little on your way out the door.” – Unknown
• “Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than to hurt yourself putting it back together.” – Unknown
• “You survived the abuse. You’re going to survive the recovery.” – Unknown
• “When you are with someone who is never pleased, it is time to stop trying to please him.” – Unknown
•  “Domestic violence is any behavior involving physical, psychological, emotional, sexual, or verbal abuse. It is any form of aggression intended to hurt, damage, or kill an intimate person.”-Asa Don Brown
• “Emotional abuse is any type of abuse that is not physical in nature. It can include everything from verbal abuse to the silent treatment, domination to subtle manipulation.”-Beverly Engel
• “Another way a person shows they are trustworthy is when their words and behavior match up. For example, if someone says they love you, and then they act abusively toward you, their words and actions don’t match. When you love someone, you do not abuse them.”-The National Domestic Violence Hotline
• “It’s not always easy to tell at the beginning of a relationship if it will become abusive.”-The National Domestic Violence Hotline
• If these quotes seem to describe your relationship, there is always hope. This is a challenging situation, but not an impossible one. It is possible for you to remove yourself safely from this unsafe situation. It’s not your fault. You deserve to be treated respectfully and with love. You have options for support in whatever way you choose to move forward.
• “Believe in yourself and be proud of who you are. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. There is beauty in everyone, and no one should stop you from growing into a confident and strong young person.”-June Sarpong
• “If the numbers we see in domestic violence were applied to terrorism or gang violence, the entire country would be up in arms, and it would be the lead story on the news every night.”-Representative Mark Green
• “You can recognize survivors of abuse by their courage. When silence is so very inviting, they step forward and share their truth so others know they aren’t alone.”-Jeanne McElvaney, “Healing Insights: Effects of Abuse for Adults Abused as Children”
• “By publicly speaking out against domestic violence, together we can challenge attitudes toward violence in the home and show that domestic violence is a crime and not merely unacceptable.”-Honor Blackman
• “No woman has to be a victim of physical abuse. Women have to feel like they are not alone.”-Salma Hayek
• “Moving from victim to survivor is an important step in recovery. During this phase we reflect upon the experience, actively engage in facing and owning what happened, and recognize the connection between the abuse and the way we feel, think or behave. And then to move ‘beyond survivor’ to gain insights and skills that make it possible for you to live an abundant, powerful life that is no longer mired in the past. You will see the scar, but you will no longer feel wounded.” ~ Rachel Grant, Beyond Surviving: The Final Stage in Recovery from Sexual Abuse
• “It’s important that we share our experiences with other people. When you tell your story, you free yourself and give other people permission to acknowledge their own story.” ~ Iyania Vanzant
• “One of the first stages of recovery for a survivor of psychological abuse is sorting through and deprogramming all the lies of the narcissist, sociopath or psychopath. I frequently will tell survivors: ‘The sky is blue, the grass is green, and your abuser has a distorted view on reality.’ These are hard facts that cannot be argued. Once a survivor has come to a deep sense of trusting their own perspectives, the lies of the abuser hold a lot less power.” ~ Shannon Thomas
• “Don’t judge yourself by what others did to you.” ~ C. Kennedy
• “When we are healing, the steps to empower ourselves often feel like we’ve been given feathers to fight fearsome monsters. But our journey out of the darkness is made of a series of small choices and actions that gently steer us toward the light. Remember, what your adult considers too little is a daring, courageous challenge for your inner child.” ~ Jeanne McElvaney

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