Will age differences in a relationship always be a problem?

This article will discuss the impacts that the age difference of the partners can have in a relationship, the good, and the bad. Aside from that, the article will show what are the biggest problems with age differences in a relationship, and how to overcome them.

Will age differences in a relationship always be a problem?

Being in a relationship with someone that has a big age difference from you can sometimes be a problem. What is known is that this type of relationship has a higher rate of divorce. But that doesn’t mean that all relationships with big age differences are fated to fail.

There seem to be some matters that can lead to a relationship with a big age difference in work. A relationship with someone with a big age difference will work if both of them have higher education levels, have reached financial stability, are good at communicating, and are in a healthy and supportive relationship with other family members.

A relationship with a high age difference can also be successful when the people in it perceive to be satisfied sexually and have high emotional intelligence. What is important to know, when talking about the age difference, is that it is not always the chronological age that matters.

As a matter of fact, in some cases, age can be just a number. That is because aside from the chronological age when thinking of how old we are, there is also our psychological age, physical age, and sexual age. 

As you enter a relationship with someone that has a different chronological age from you, it may be that this relationship will work out if you and your partner are similar in other ages, such as sexual, physical, or psychological age. 

But it is important to keep in mind that dealing with a relationship with a big age gap is not always simple. Let’s discuss the biggest problems that can come from it.

What are the biggest problems with different ages in relationships? 

Being in a relationship with a big age difference can have many problems, such as emotional maturity can impact a relationship with a big age difference. As you and your partner have a big age gap, it can be that the more emotionally mature one will take most of the emotional responsibility for the relationship.

Another thing to consider is if the both of you have the same priorities in life, since as years pass, it can change, and you may suddenly realize you don’t have the same priorities as your partner. 

Your partner may be starting to think about starting a family, and doing that is the furthest thing from your mind, or they may be thinking of retirement when you are still in full power working. Understanding how to manage those differences can be a problem.

Depending on the age gap, it can also happen that you or your partner are having end-of-life concerns, and the other may not understand, making it harder to share.

Being in a relationship with someone that has a big age difference from you can also lead to a lot of social stigmas. This judgment of others, which can assume this relationship can only work because one of you is interested in taking something from the other can take a toll on the two of you.

And it is not only the view of others. Sometimes the age difference can lead to a power imbalance. As one of you is a lot older than the other, they can assume the role of authority, and it can change the romantic relationship into something more serious, or strict.

But if you are in a relationship in which there is a big age gap, know that there are some actions you and your partner can take to make it all easier. Let’s discuss what can be done.

How can you deal with different ages in a relationship? 

As you are in a relationship with a big age difference, caring for each other, and yourself may be a necessity. To do so, it is important to set boundaries very early on in this relationship. Show other people that their thoughts and feelings regarding your relationship are not wanted, or needed. This may help you protect yourself.

As said before, good communication skills can be something that will help your relationship with a big age gap be more successful. So that is what you should try to work on. Be in touch with one another, and try to understand each other’s wants and needs. 

Accepting that there is a difference in the moments each of you is in life may be important to get you out of denial. But not only that, addressing this matter is what will ultimately allow the two of you to create the best strategies to handle it. 

Aside from that, as being around other people that are judgemental can be a problem, you may want to be around people that are open and accepting of your relationship. Being around other couples that also have a big age gap can help create a powerful support network for the two of you.

Sharing interests is important in any relationship. As you are with someone that has a bigger age difference from you, knowing the similarities you have, and what you share can help create a strong bond.

Finally, as it may not always be easy to deal with all the load of being in a relationship with a big age difference, you may want to consider looking for professional help. Being in therapy for yourself, or even being in couple’s therapy can help you, and your partner, to understand better ways to handle the challenges that can come from this relationship.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): Will age difference in a relationship always be a problem?

What is the most successful age gap between partners?

It seems that ideally, the age difference between partners that stays somewhere between 4 and 5 years is the one that allows people to build the most lasting, and satisfying relationships. 

When a couple has a bigger age difference than that, between 8 and 10 years, it can lead to higher rates of disillusionment, fights, and overall trouble in the relationship, which can often lead the couple to get divorced. 

Why is it better to marry after your 30s?

People have been getting married later, and that seems to be leading them to happier relationships. As people now marry more around their 30s, than in their 20s, it seems that the levels of satisfaction with marriage are higher.

That can happen for many reasons. It can be that in your 30s you are more self-assured and rely less on what your partner thinks of you, making the relationship more stable. 

The two of you may also have gone through other relationships, and now have a better notion of what you hope to take out of marriage or any long-term relationship for that matter.

As you reach your 30s, it may also be that the relationship works better because you are more independent, and don’t rely on being in their social circle. The financial independence that comes from that moment in your life can also make a difference in how your relationship will work, making the marriage better.

When is the right time to say I love you?

There is no right time to say I love you, each relationship is different, and it evolves in its particular way. Still, there seems to be an understanding, to most people, that you should tell someone you love them as soon as you come to realize you love them.

To other people, it may be better to wait a few months before doing it, while for others, one should only say I love you one year after the relationship has started. 

It is also important to highlight that there seems to be a difference between men and women in this matter. As men will often say I love you to their partners around 3 after the relationship starts, a woman can take around 6 months to do the same.

What can men feel when they are in love?

Love can impact men in many ways. It can lead them to experience a sense of happiness, and euphoria that will be caused by the high levels of dopamine in their brain. The man’s judgment can also be impaired when they are in love, and they will likely form more positive memories.

When in love, men will often not be impacted by social judgment anymore, which causes them to not care about what other people say. And because the man is often looking to be the leader, they may be the ones that fall in love faster, while women take longer because they are looking for the proper partner.

It can also lead them to feel less pain and not look at other people around them because of the high levels of oxytocin they have in their brains. When in love, it is likely that men will begin to think long-term and start to look for ways to provide and be better partners.

They may also be extremely kind to the person they love, and will always look for ways to fit into your life. Finally, when a man is in love they will often use “we” and let go of the “I”, which means that he is making plans for the two of you together.

Is it okay to kiss someone on a first date?

It is not possible to say if it is okay to kiss someone on a first date since those can often be different. It is important to know that as you do it, the other person should consent to it and that this is a good experience for both of you.

With that said, most people assume it is okay to kiss on a first date, while for others, it seems that waiting for the second, or even third date is a rule. When talking about genders, it seems that men feel more at ease with kissing someone on the first date than women do. 

But in any way, you should only do it if you feel comfortable, and know the other person wants it too.

Conclusion

This article showed the impacts different ages in relationships can have. It explained the biggest problems one can face with that, and how it is possible to cope with different ages in a relationship.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write them in the section below.

References

https://psychcentral.com/relationships/age-difference-in-relationships#overcoming-issues

https://www.brides.com/handle-age-differences-in-relationships-2303199