Why is your husband ignoring you?


When your husband ignores you, it can really push you to the edge. What we need to focus on is why this is happening and also how we can resolve this. If your husband ignores you for prolonged periods of time it can turn into an unhealthy and even toxic relationship. It stops the flow of communication and thereby breaks your relationship. 

In this article we speak about the very same things. Why is your husband ignoring you? What can you do about this and when is it time to let go. 

The topics we will be discussing are as follows :

  • Why is your husband ignoring you? 
  • What can you do about this? 
  • When is it time to let go? 

Why is your husband ignoring you? 

Your husband could be ignoring you for the following reasons:

  • He’s stonewalling you
  • You did something to hurt him
  • He’s guilty of something
  • He’s preoccupied 
  • He’s growing distant 

He’s stonewalling you

Stonewalling is something that a person does usually in an argument or after an argument. In other words we can describe this as a cold war. They tend to stop talking altogether or they speak only for basic things such as  “what’s for dinner?” And so on. 

Stonewalling is considered to be toxic behaviour because you basically cut someone off completely. And this someone happens to be your partner, with whom you’re sharing your life. It stops communication completely, which means it also gives room to a lot of Insecurities and doubts. 

During this period the distance between both persons increases. And if this is done repeatedly it definitely becomes harmful. You might get used to such behaviour after a point. This happens because people tend to think and accept that this is how their partner copes with difficult situations. But it is not at all alright to do this in any relationship let alone a romantic relationship. 

While stonewalling someone you can make them feel as though they committed a really big mistake. This drives a lot of guilt and pain in the other person. Not knowing the reason for such a drastic change can really affect one’s mental health. This is why it is also considered to be manipulative behaviour. 

If your husband has been doing this, firstly you need to accept that this is not normal. Your husband  cannot act this way every time there is something he doesn’t like. Even if it has hurt him, he has to communicate that with you before he takes some time off. 

You did something to hurt him

You have either said something hurtful or done something hurtful that has really affected your husband to a whole other level. This could have been something significantly small for you, however your husband doesn’t feel so. 

He might not know how to express this to you as well. If you feel like there is even a small possibility that you could have done or said something to hurt him, look back and try to remember what that could have been. 

We all have something that causes us pain. It could be a memory from the past or an issue from the past, it is important to be sensitive about such things. 

He’s guilty of something

Your husband has probably done something that he is immensely guilty about however he doesn’t know how to communicate this to you. 

It doesn’t have to be something like cheating, it can also be other things such as a job promotion which requires him to get transferred, a decision he made without you or some other such thing. 

Before you jump to conclusions with this thought, speak to your husband. Notice if he’s been avoiding you only when it comes to a certain topic. Confronting doesn’t mean you tell, or interrogate your husband. It merely means you let him know that you notice something is wrong, and you’d like him to be upfront about it.

He’s preoccupied 

There is obviously a possibility that your husband is preoccupied with work. He might have a lot of work and stress in his workplace and that’s why he isn’t able to communicate effectively with you. 

He probably has a lot  on his plate at the moment and needs some time to sort things out. If this is the case give him some time and space. He might be overworked as well. Reassure him that you will be there to provide support. 

This doesn’t mean that you don’t have to confront the issue at hand. However it only means that you choose the right time to do so. You might be struggling with how your husband is balancing work and his time with you, but if you do confront him when he is overworked it might be counterproductive. 

There’s a good chance that it could worsen the situation and lead to a fight. That’s why it’s better to speak of this when he is comparatively calm. Not everything has to be an argument or a fight, things can be resolved in a calm manner as well. Let him know that you felt as though he was ignoring you, and that he should have a better way of communication. 

He’s growing distant

There is obviously a chance that your husband is growing distant in the relationship. He might not be feeling good about the relationship he’s having with you. 

He could also have certain doubts and issues regarding a particular fight , argument or just a discussion you had with him. If you feel like something is playing on his mind, and he’s growing distant. Then approach him at a time when you both are home and it’s just the two of you. 

Being at home might make it easier for him to face his emotions. This however requires the right time and the right space. Choose your words when you’re talking to him. It’s okay to be emotional, but remember the purpose of this conversation. It’s the both of you against the problem. 

What can you do about this? 

In order to solve this situation you’d have to approach and confront your husband. This might definitely be difficult because you’d have to particularly get him to stop ignoring you in the first place. 

If you feel like nothing is working and he just won’t talk to you, then try and speak to a counselor. A marriage counselor is one who is trained in such situations and can help by being the mediator between the teo of you. 

If this is not something you or your husband is comfortable with , then you can see if you’d like it to be someone known to the two of you. However this is recommended only if this third person is someone you both can trust with your lives and who wants the best for your relationship. 

Sometimes if your husband is ignoring you, then the best would be to write to him, and by this I mean a text, email or even an actual handwritten letter. 

When is it time to let go? 

You might not resolve this issue with your husband. But you can do this only with his help. If he tends to stay away and keep his distance even with your constant effort , then there is nothing you can do. 

You need to draw the line when it starts looking like you’re the only one who cares. Once it starts getting toxic and you feel like your husband has become a stranger, it’s time to let go and move on. 

You can have one conversation with him before you make your decision , but remember that, you have to keep yourself as a priority because nobody else will. You cannot help your relationship if your husband refuses to do so. 


If your husband has been ignoring you then that can mean a lot of things. Some of them might not be as serious as the rest, but at the end of the day it isn’t the kind of behaviour anyone should deal with and especially not in a marriage. It can turn the marriage into a very toxic and unhealthy relationship to live in. So at the end of the day you’d have to understand why your husband is acting in such a way and then make a call accordingly. 

If you have any questions or queries please drop them in the comment section below. 

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