Why is my wife yelling at me?

This article will center on showing what are the main reasons why your wife is yelling at you. Aside from that, it will show what you can do when your wife is yelling at you.

Why is my wife yelling at me? 

There can be some reasons why your wife yells at you. Here are some of the most common ones.

She is not happy with herself 

Sometimes it can be that your wife is yelling at you as a way to cope with negative feelings she has about herself. She can feel like she hasn’t done enough in her life, or that her career isn’t as good as she hoped.

If you are having a better time professionally, she can grow resentful of you. It can also be that she is afraid of how you have been perceiving her. It can be that she is scared that you don’t find her attractive anymore, or that you think she is not fun to be around.

She can feel that life has been taken over by the routine, that she gets scared that the spark between the two of you is gone. So sometimes, with all those emotions boiling in her, she can yell at you.

And even though there may be a legitimate reason why she is doing so, you should keep in mind that it is not okay to be yelled at. There are many other ways the two of you can communicate about your concerns, but if it is only done by yelling, it can harm your relationship even more.

She is no longer interested in you 

Sometimes it can be that, sadly, your wife is yelling at you because they are no longer interested in the relationship they have with you. They can feel like they have nothing else to give to this relationship, so sometimes she can feel extremely drained, and react by yelling at everything you say or do.

It is important to highlight, once again, that if your wife is yelling at you because of that, the two of you should discuss this matter since there are better ways to deal with this than yelling at one another.

She feels you are not interested in her anymore 

If your wife feels like you are no longer interested in her, be it sexually, or even emotionally, they may often yell at you. It can be that in those cases yelling will come even as a way to get your attention.

And although they can know that this is not the most positive way to do so, they can be so desperate sometimes, that this is all they feel they can do. 

She feels you don’t listen to her 

If your wife is yelling at you, it can also be because she feels that you don’t listen to her properly. She can feel like you don’t pay attention to all the things she says, or that you don’t keep it in mind.

Because of that, she can sometimes feel like it is just by yelling that she will be heard, or understood. If that is what is happening in your relationship, the two of you must address this matter. And if you realize you are having trouble listening to her, try to discover why this is happening, and how you can improve.

She is going through some problems 

In other cases, it can be that your wife is yelling at you because she has been going through some trouble. It can be that they are stressed with their work, or even that they are going through something like depression, which often makes the person more irritable, and causes them to yell more often.

If that is the case, you must be supportive of your wife, but also have in mind that it is not okay to be yelled at. Understanding this balance is what can change your relationship for the better.

This is an abusive relationship

But it is also important to try to keep track of your wife’s yelling to make sure that this is not an abusive relationship. When that is the case, you will notice that your wife is using you as a punching bag.

Differently from the reasons shown before, when your wife yells at you because you are in an abusive relationship, she will treat other people completely differently. And yelling at you will become a habit. 

It is not something that happens once, but rather a way of life. That you can begin to realize, little by little, that it is made to belittle and humiliate you. When that is the case, you may be faced with an even harder situation to manage.

But there are always things you can do if your wife is yelling at you. Let’s discuss those.

What can I do when my wife is yelling at me? 

If your wife is yelling at you, here is what you can do.

Try to communicate 

If your wife yells at you, the first thing you should try to do is talk about it with them. Trying to understand what is behind the yelling, can help the two of you to work on better strategies to handle whatever is happening, be it that she is not feeling well with herself, or even if she feels you are not interested in her anymore.

Whatever is the matter, discussing it will allow things to become clear. It will also give you an idea of how willing your wife is to change her behavior, because if she is just assuming to be normal to yell at you, it can be an indicator that there is something more in this relationship, rather than just the need to adjust behaviors.

The unwillingness to change can be a serious sign of an abusive relationship. And for that, you should be careful, since things can often escalate from the yelling.

Understand the yelling patterns 

If your wife has been yelling at you often, you may want to try and understand if there is a pattern to it. Does she yell when she is upset? Does she have a condition that is leading her to become more irritable? Or is there a pattern of abuse behind it all?

Talking to people that are close, friends, or even a therapist can help you understand what is happening. Thinking if your wife yells at other people as well, it is a problem with her temper,  or just in your relationship, will give you some clarity and may even think of ways out. Be it by talking with your partner, be it by leaving the abusive relationship.

Consider leaving the relationship

If you have come to an understanding that this relationship is abusive, it may be time to consider leaving. Although sometimes it can be harder for men to see themselves as someone that is being abused, it is important to know that it can happen.

Men can be abused, in the same way as women. And as it happens, they will have a harder time admitting to it, because they can feel as if their manhood will be questioned. But if at any moment you realize that your wife is being abusive towards you, it is better to leave.

Know that if an abusive cycle is in place, as you begin to tell her you will leave, they will likely make promises, saying that things will change. But like in all forms of abuse, it is just something that often happens to keep you tangled with the abuser. Try to create a support system for yourself, and when it is possible, leave the relationship.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): Why is my wife yelling at me?  

Can yelling be normal in a relationship?

It is normal that at some point, in a relationship, people will yell. It can happen as they are arguing, and when someone feels overwhelmed by their emotions and loses control over it.

But because it can happen, it doesn’t mean that yelling should be a common occurrence in a relationship. If you are in a couple, the two of you should be able to deal with conflicts in another manner, since yelling can lead both partners to be disrespectful towards one another, which can ultimately harm them, and the relationship.

Can being yelled at lead to trauma?

Yes, being yelled at can lead a person to become scared, and traumatized. People that have been yelled at when they were little, can have such a negative memory of it, that whenever people around them yell at them, they can become anxious.

When that is the case, it means that yelling has been turned into an emotional trigger for that person. And to cope with it, they must go to therapy.

Do people only yell when they are angry?

No, more often people will yell when they are angry, or frustrated at something. But yelling can also be a sign of someone being overly excited by something. In those cases, the person can yell as a way to show their emotions.

But in cases when people tend to yell too much, or too often, when frustrated, or angry, it may be important to look for professional help, as it can help them learn what are better ways to deal, with and manifest their emotions, rather than yelling.

What are some signs of anger issues?

Having anger issues will often lead you to blow up on people, so the first thing you need to know is that it can harm your relationships. People with anger issues will also become verbally, or even physically abusive.

Aside from that, they will often feel like they are unable to control their rage, and that anything that happens to them will lead them to become angry. Because they have anger outbursts, people with anger issues will often regret afterward about the way they have treated others.

Is yelling a good way to cope with stress?

Yes, yelling can be a great way to release the stress you are in. This happens because when you yell, the oxygen used by it will make you experience a sense of calmness.

But even though it had this positive effect, you should be careful to not go on yelling at other people. As you are trying to manage your stress you can yell at your pillow for example.


This article showed the main reasons why your wife may yell at you. Aside from that, it showed what you can do when this happens.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write them in the section below.