Why is my partner avoiding me? 

If your partner is avoiding you, it is time to make a call about your relationship. It’s important to understand that these things can be solved, however you need to be very clear about how it makes you feel, and what you expect from the relationship. 

In this article we will try to understand why your partner has been avoiding you. Along with this we will also try to ascertain how to untangle the situation in the right way, for both you and your partner.  We will also understand the impact issues like this have on you and your mental state. 

Here are the topics we will be talking about:

  • Why is my partner avoiding me? 
  • What can I do to solve this? 
  • How do I know when to let go? 

Why is my partner avoiding me? 

Your partner can be avoiding you for the following reasons :

  • There’s something bothering them
  • They aren’t able to express themselves
  • They might be phasing out the relationship
  • They could be feeling guilty 
  • They need space 
  • They’re feeling too overwhelmed

There’s something bothering them 

Something might be bothering your partner and this could cause them to avoid you. When we say something is bothering them, what we mean is that they have too much on their plate. 

When people have alot on their plate they usually tend to cut off from the world. Your partner probably needs some time to get everything in order and understand what’s really happening. 

This means they could be occupied with work, family, relationships and other things. It doesn’t necessarily have to be something to do with you. But we do understand that it might be difficult to not take it personally, however what you can do is ask your partner if there is anything you could do to help them out. 

Remember that if this infact is the reason then it’s best to give them their time. 

They aren’t able to express themselves

It’s a possibility that your partner isn’t able to express themselves in the relationship. They might be feeling alot, thinking about alot of things, and yet they aren’t able to verbalize all of this. 

This could lead them to feeling suffocated or closed up. They might be feeling distant from you solely because they aren’t able to be truly honest in the relationship by sharing. 

In such a situation they might be avoiding certain topics of conversations, they could also be avoiding encounters with you altogether. Notice what are the things they’re trying to avoid and ask them about it in a harmless way. 

Make sure your conversation doesn’t have an accusative or doubtful tone to it. Remember you’re only trying to understand what’s the reason, that’s about it. 

They might be phasing out the relationship

This usually happens when people want to break up or they aren’t sure about their partners. They believe that if they phase out a relationship and let the distance build then breaking up might not be as hurtful. 

Now again this is a possibility but it doesn’t have to be true in your case. Try to observe and notice the small things. 

Has your partner stopped putting in an effort? 

Have they stopped doing small things that made you happy? 

Have they stopped being appreciative? 

Let them know if this is what they want to do, then it’s easier to be upfront about it. 

They could be feeling guilty

One of the most commonly assumed reasons when someone is avoiding you is that they’re guilty of something. Naturally if you think about it, there’s probably been a time you’ve avoided a friend or a parent because of something wrong you did. 

If you feel your partner is closing you out because of the guilt they’re feeling, then instead of being suspicious and assuming the worst. 

Give them the time. You need to let them know that you are there for them and they can tell you anything they want. Be respectful of their space and let them come to you when you’re ready. 

They need space 

Sometimes relationships and life in general can get too much. It can make you feel lost, and unhappy just because of how much of your energy it’s been taking. 

They probably feel drained out, and need some time to reboot and know where they stand. This is very natural to feel in relationships and especially long-term ones. Partners need to understand that having individual space is extremely important. 

Keep your boundaries and always take out a few hours in the week just for yourself. Have your own friend circles that keep your lives different. 

They’re feeling too overwhelmed

Have you been fighting alot? The both of you might still be trying to figure out your relationship. You probably are trying to understand eachother and it’s natural to fight during this time. 

You’re still trying to catch eachother’s rythm, all you have to remember is that you both are still individuals. It’s going to take time and effort to understand eachother and yet be respectful. 

If you’ve been having a rough patch lately it might be better to take some time to relax, unwind and come back to learn more about eachother. 

What can I do to solve this? 

Here are three things you can do solve this. 

  • Communicate together
  • Support your partner
  • Focus on yourself

Communicate together

Communication is the key to all of your problems. It might be difficult to do so when your partner refuses to communicate, and is avoiding you. But it is also your relationship and you can communicate even if the other person isn’t. 

Make sure you let your partner know how you’re feeling. Let them understand how you feel, and by doing so, let them know that you’re willing to hear them out as well. Give them the opportunity to express themselves. 

Support your partner 

Your partner might need your support at this moment. What looks like avoidance to you might just have another reason altogether. It might just mean your partner is occupied, stressed, drained out, and so on. 

It’s important to show your support for your partner and whatever they’re going through. If you believe this is not like them, and that there’s something genuinely bothering them, and put this faith into your partner. 

Focus on yourself

In all of this please remember that you’re your own person. You have a life of your own and you have the right to feel happy, with or without your partner. 

Try to keep yourself occupied and focus on what nurtures your soul, helps you feel good from within. 

How do I know when to let go? 

You should probably let go of the relationship when you’ve been trying to work on your relationship but it’s been one-sided for a very long time. 

If you’ve just been giving without receiving and now you’re drained out, and you have to force yourself, then it’s time to let go. 

It’s not good that a relationship and someone you love has pushed you to the edge in such a way


If your partner is avoiding you, then it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship. Firstly be sure about what you want. If you want this relationship to work then you will have to put in your time and energy and it might be one-sided for a while, but if your partner still doesn’t come around, then it’s time to let go. Give your partner the time but also be respectful of your efforts, needs and expectations. 

If you have any questions or queries please drop them in the comment section below. 

FAQs- My partner avoids me 

Is it normal to be ignored by your partner? 

No, it isn’t normal to be ignored by your partner, this usually means that your relationship has hit a rough or rocky patch. 

What does stonewalling mean in a relationship? 

Stonewalling means your partner is refusing to communicate or be in contact with you. This means they shut off from the conversation or argument and it can be painful and frustrating. 

Why does my partner keep ignoring me? 

Your partner might keep ignoring you for a variety of reasons. As mentioned above it could plainly be because he’s been extremely busy and is occupied or it could even mean he is guilty of cheating. He’s probably even dating someone else. 

Why am I being ignored by my girlfriend?

You’re being ignored with your girlfriend probably because she’s overwhelmed by the amount of attention you give her. 

Is ignoring someone manipulative? 

Yes, ignoring someone can be manipulative if the intention behind this it to gauge the other persons attention.  People might do this to punish or make the other person feel fearful this can be a manipulative tactic. 



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