When your partner is always complaining about everything, it can create a negative atmosphere. This might impact your life and the way you move around with people as well. Sometimes these feelings that your partner expresses will be negative in nature , in which case, it would affect your mood as well.
In this article we will be talking about why your partner is complaining about everything, and how to exactly resolve this issue.
Here are the topics we will be covering:
- Why is my partner always complaining?
- How is this affecting our relationship?
- What can I do to help my relationship?
Why Is my partner always complaining?
Here are the reasons why your partner is always complaining:
- Their needs aren’t being fulfilled
- They are resentful
- They are projecting
- They are unhappy
Their needs aren’t being fulfilled
The moment we step into a relationship we all have certain expectations from our partners. Not only this we also have certain wants and desires as well. The thing is not all of us know how to communicate these emotions we have.
We might simply let our partner know that we need some kind of attention and when we don’t see this changing, we begin to constantly complain about the same. Your partner is probably doing the same thing as well, where they feel as though their needs aren’t being taken seriously and in order to communicate that to you, they are complaining about it most of the time.
This is bound to affect your relationship because at one point you’re going to feel as though nothing you do is enough. Nothing you do is right or is making your partner happy. Unknowingly your partner might be becoming quite toxic.
It naturally takes time to get settled into a relationship and fulfill our partners needs according to the way they want it. It also takes a lot of conscious effort and patience to do this.
You might be thinking that you’re providing everything for your partner but maybe you aren’t paying close attention to what they’re actually asking for. If you give a person excess of what they don’t want, it isn’t going to matter to them or make a difference.
They are resentful
They’re probably carrying a lot of resentment for something that you possibly did in the past. Instead of speaking to you about this and solving it, they’ve kept it within themselves.
Naturally resentment is a heavy emotion to be carrying, so after a point of time it’s going to find ways to spill out and deep into the relationship as well.
The thing with this is, it takes time to reach a point of resentment. It might have started with a small miscommunication, leading to a misunderstanding, to being upset and moving into anger and then resentment. So when a person let’s it get to such an extreme point if it begins to really hurt the relationship.
That’s why it’s best to speak and sort out issues then and there, or at least a few days later. If you let them be , thinking time will resolve it, it might only make it feel like a far away memory but the feelings associated with it remain strong.
They are projecting
Your partner is probably feeling really insecure about themselves. Or they themselves aren’t pleased with how things are in their own life. They might have a set of Insecurities that they want to hide and in the process of doing so they are projecting their feelings onto you.
This is one of the most common reasons why a person faces criticism. They might also feel envious and jealous of you. You might be handling your Insecurities in a much better way, and this could cause them to point them out to you repeatedly.
In this case your partner has a lot of unresolved problems within themselves. You can be there to help them see this, and then to support them. But if it is becoming something rather toxic then they would have to seek professional help.
When someone begins to project their insecurities and issues onto another person, it shows that they need help. That they do have a lot on their plate but they aren’t able to handle it properly.
They are unhappy
Your partner is unhappy with the relationship and also with how they’ve been leading their life. Nothing seems to make them happy or keep them happy. It’s all an issue in their mind.
In this situation it definitely sounds like depression to a very large extent. If you find your partner showing these kinds of symptoms, if they express that they have no hope for the future, then consult a psychologist or psychiatrist.
How is this affecting our relationship?
When your partner is complaining all the time, it can start draining you out as there will be no room for positivity and ultimately happiness.
You might feel a general sense of resentment towards your partner. This is because when someone is negative about everything in life, it can make it look like even you aren’t enough to keep them happy.
This is a heavy feeling to carry for anyone at all. It can make you feel helpless, lost and even disheartened. But more than this it can cause you to feel that your relationship isn’t enough for your partner. That they aren’t happy with you. This can lead to a break up.
It is important in such a situation to understand where your partner is coming from. And if you can fix this. Incase your partner is :
Going through a crisis
In such a case you should be able to help your partner resolve this crisis. It’s probably just a rough patch that needs a little extra care. Once it’s over your relationship might emerge stronger.
In such a situation you can help your partner by first educating yourself. Make sure to understand your partner but don’t push them to speak about traumatic events. Let them know that this is a safe place where they can share anything they have.
Further, read about trauma and how to react to trauma. Keep yourself informed in such a case.
Negativity or intrusive thoughts are commonly seen in people who experience depression. In case your partner’s eating habits have changed, or sleeping habits, if they’re losing hope in the future and are constantly low, then it is a sign of depression.
Professional help is recommended in such a case.
These are the factors that you can stay and work on your partner with. However if your partner has a general personality, that’s negative and chooses to be that way, then it’s time to reevaluate your relationship.
Especially when anything at all is draining you out when it’s supposed to make you feel supported and loved, then it’s not a good sign.
Remember that there is give and take in a relationship. It is a partnership, but if you feel like you’re constantly giving and getting nothing in return, it can drain you out. Which is probably what’s happening when your partner is negative.
What can I do to help my relationship?
You can help your relationship by first of all understanding that it’s going to take communication and effort from both sides.
Don’t try to do all the work on your own, this is probably what you’ve been doing so far. You’ve probably been trying to keep the positivity in the relationship, this can be very draining and impractical in the long run.
- Learn to communicate your feelings and needs in a way where your partner does understand.
- Understand the core issue and make a decision together if you both would like to work on it.
- Take some time out for your relationship to refocus and find out where it all went wrong.
- Allow yourselves the space to speak to each other and share everything that you can.
- Make sure you both remember that your relationship is a safe place and try to have that environment around each other as well.
When your partner is always complaining it can lead to a lot of negativity in your relationship. This is why you’d probably have to keep yourself going by thinking of the positives. Thinking about the commitment and love you have for eachother. It’s also important to work on these issues in the right manner instead of ignoring them completely.