Why is my life such a mess: 3 Reasons why

In this blog we will answer the question “Why is my life such a mess?”

We will discuss some of the reasons why your life is a mess, what are the signs that indicate your life is a mess, and how you can go about fixing it if your life is a mess. 

Why is my life such a mess: Reasons why

Counseling is Key to a Healthy Marr... x
Counseling is Key to a Healthy Marriage

Some of the reasons why your life is a mess includes:

You are stressed and overworked

One of the main reasons why you might be feeling like your life is a mess is because you are overworked, stressed, and there is no clear distinction between your personal life and your professional life. 

When you are stressed out and overworked, one can lose sight of their personal life which can spiral out of control when one is not being attentive. 

For example, working all the time can impact your personal relationships and before you know it, your partner is leaving you and your kids hate you. 

You are not taking ownership

Another reason why your life is a mess is probably because you are not taking responsibility and ownership over your own life.

Taking ownership means understanding that what you say, think, feel, and do are all under your control and you are responsible for them.

Not taking responsibility over these aspects of yourself can cause conflicts with other people, can cause problems at work, and can also impact your own health causing a mess. 

You do not know what your purpose is

Another reason why you might be feeling like your life is a mess is because you have lost direction in life because you do not know what your true vision is. 

This means that you are walking around in the dark unable to know what you should be doing with your life and this has led you down paths that have caused much distress and much hardship in your life. 

You don’t have healthy boundaries

Another reason why your life is a mess is because you do not have healthy boundaries between you and other people. 

You could be in trouble because you are unable to say no to them or because you are not respectful of other people’s boundaries that is leading to conflict and stress. 

You are doing too many things at once

It could be possible that the mess has been created because your focus is divided between too many things that you are unable to focus on what matters and this is leading to a lot of confusion, added stress, and on top of that- you aren’t able to do a good job on anything because your attention is diffused. 

You are holding on to a victim mentality

You have to understand that each individual has the power to bring change. Not all have the privileged to bring big change however, it is possible for someone to bring some small changes within themselves. 

This starts with changing your victim mentality that is causing much of the mess in your life. 

When we hold on to this mentality, we are mistaken to believe that we have no control over anything and this leads us to give up before we even start. 

So one reason why your life is a mess is because you are wallowing in self pity instead of taking affirmative action to get yourself where you want to be. 

What are the signs that life is a mess?

Some of the signs that your life is a mess includes:

  • Too much negativity in your attitude, too much pessimism, and too much toxicity in your life to the point that it is causing you emotional and mental distress. 
  • You are burnt out and tired all the time to the point where you no longer feel any sense of empathy or for that matter any emotion- you feel numb and lifeless. 
  • You are overwhelmed emotionally that you spend a lot of time wondering why you do not feel anything or you spend your nights crying all the time. 
  • You don’t sleep or you sleep too much, your diet is a mess, and you haven’t groomed yourself in a while. 
  • Your surroundings are a mess because you haven’t been present with the space you are around this means- a lot of the clutter in your space is a representation of the clutter in your mental space. 
  • You keep getting sick or are in a constant state of pain which makes you struggle to work, get out of bed, and do your daily necessary routines. 
  • Your relationships are deteriorating because you are either absent or there is a lit of irritability and conflicts between you and the people you love. 
  • You cannot focus and concentrate which makes you forgetful or makes you unable to do your job well. 
  • You are tired all the time
  • You don’t want to talk to people or spend time with the ones you love.
  • You feel no joy for the things that you once did- like your hobbies and passions. 

How to fix things if your life is a mess: 5 Steps

Here are 5 steps that you can take if you want to fix your life from the mess that it is:

Acknowledge the mess 

The first thing you need to do is to acknowledge the mess and to understand that there is no quick fix. There is no magic solution to having all your problems fixed. 

So start slow and acknowledge that your life is a mess and you have a part to play in it. Acknowledging means to recognize that you have a problem and that you are now prioritising dealing with your problems.

This means that your number one priority is to face these problems head on and work through solving the problem even if it means taking deliberate steps to resolve the issue- like cleaning up your house, cutting off toxic friends etc. 

Here, you start  by taking your problems seriously and understand how much of the problem is affecting your life and what you can do about the situation. 

Let go of what you cannot control

The next step of working through a possible solution is to understand how much you can change and what are the things that are out of your control.

You have to understand that you are a human being and there are some things that are just impossible to control. For example, you cannot control how people react to you or other people’s behaviours, what you can control is your own thoughts and your own behaviours. 

For the things that you cannot control, let it go.

Make a list of the problems you need to solve to clear up the mess in your life as you make this list make a note of how much you can control and how much you cannot control.

Focus on what you can control and work on that, this means you stop obsessing over things that are out of your hands and start doing things that you are capable of doing. 

For example, if you are unemployed and this is causing such a big mess in your life. Instead of wondering if you will ever be employed, do things that can get you employed- like picking up new skills, sending out resumes etc. 

Be present

Another important thing for you to remember is that you need to be present.

Cleaning up the mess that has been created can be daunting and it can be scary however if you do not do it, no one else will. 

So be present with your fears and your doubts as well as be present as you take steps to clean up the mess. 

Face each challenge deliberately and work towards your solutions one step at a time. When things get hard, it is okay to allow yourself to rest however, what matters is that you are present when you get back up again. 

Get professional help

If the mess in your life is getting out of hand and nothing you do is making it better, it could be time that you need an outside perspective on the matter. 

Seek professional help from a counsellor, a therapist, a life coach- whatever works for you and work with them to form a plan and a solution to clean the mess in your life. 

It is important that you create a plan with them and stick with this plan and work through your issues. 

Seek out support

To help you stick to the plan and work through the challenges, you can also seek out support from people you trust and people who love you.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help and support even if that help and support is simply asking them for a hug or asking them for a listening ear.

People will not know how to help you unless you ask them to- so take that extra step to reach out and ask for support. 


In this blog we have answered the question “Why is my life such a mess?”

We also discussed some of the reasons why your life is a mess, what are the signs that indicate your life is a mess, and how you can go about fixing it if your life is a mess. 

FAQ related to why is my life such a mess

What is having a life?

Having a life means living  a life where you are engaged in your interests and activities, outside of your work, which makes your life enjoyable and worthwhile.

To be able to have a life is to be focused on what one is doing in their own private lives and being present in their own personal lives. 

What is my purpose?

When we are talking about purpose, we are talking about something that one must be to find some meaning in their lives. 

It can be something related to one’s work and at the smae time it can be liked to something other than work- like one’s realtionships or spirituality etc, 

What is the best life?

Living your best life means living a life that your are satisfied with and in which you are happy and are living to the best of your potential. 

It is about being motivated and pumped up to live out your purpose and find meaning in the life you live. 


Maria Jensen. Your Life Is a Mess? How to Fix It and Turn Things Around. Life Hack. Retrieved on 5th April 2022. https://www.lifehack.org/827423/my-life-is-a-mess

María Isabel Carrasco Cara Chards. 8 Things You Need To Remember When Your Life Is A Mess. Cultura Colectiva. Retrieved on 5th April 2022.https://culturacolectiva.com/lifestyle/things-to-remember-when-life-is-a-mess/

Diane Passage. 5 Signs Your Life Is a Mess And How to Fix It Fast. HuffPost. Retrieved on 5th April 2022. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/5-signs-your-life-is-a-mess-and-how-to-fix-it-fast_b_7991022

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