Why is my husband yelling at me?

This article will discuss the main reasons why your husband may be yelling at you. Aside from that, the article will show what you can do when your husband yells at you.

Why is my husband yelling at me?  

There are many reasons why your husband may be yelling at you. Let’s discuss what may be behind this behavior of his.


Sometimes when people are dealing with a stressful situation they can easily become more irritable. And losing the handle on how they react to things can happen. So maybe your husband is dealing with something that is taking a toll on him, and unfortunately, they end up throwing it all on you.

This is not saying that this behavior is right. Being stressed should be no excuse to mistreat someone. But in cases you know he is stressed, you should ask yourself if it is a momentary thing, or if it has become a habit in your relationship.

If it is not something that happens often, but that they just lost their mind over something, it may be important to react in a more supportive way, and talk to them after, as you may have already yelled at them sometimes when you were stressed yourself. 

But if you notice that every time they become stressed they turn to you almost as a punching bag, it may be important to evaluate what is going on in the relationship that makes them think it is okay to yell at you.

He is abusive towards you 

Sometimes your husband can be yelling at you and this can be a sign of an abusive relationship. When that is the case, everything can turn into a motive to yell at you. They will use this as a way to make you feel powerless and diminished.

In an abusive relationship, there is usually this intense period of aggression, in which the screaming can be more and more common, and it can even come to being physically abusive. But afterward, the husband will apologize, and become extremely loving.

Which keeps you confused, and makes you stay connected to them, and the relationship. Writing out when the screaming happens, what motives they based their screaming on, and how they apologize afterward, can be a great way for you to understand if there is an abusive pattern in this relationship.

They are going through an illness 

It could also be that your husband is yelling at you because they are going through an illness. Some conditions, such as depression, can change a person’s brain chemistry. And because of that, it can alter how people behave. 

For example, a person with depression will often become more irritable. Because of that, they can get annoyed easily, and can even yell more frequently than they did before.

Once again it is important to highlight that, no matter what your husband is going through, it is not okay for them to yell at you. What is important is that you understand why it is happening so you can act accordingly. 

For example, if he is depressed, which is leading them to yell more, are they aware of how much this affects him? Have they been looking for treatment? Are they working on healing?

Answering these questions may help you find a better way to act. If you notice that the yelling has been an episode and that they are trying to get out of this condition, and this behavior, you can better understand what they are going through, than if your husband is just accepting their depressive state and not looking for ways out of it.

They feel pressured

In the same way as being stressed, men can sometimes feel pressured about things. There is a lot of social pressure that men should be strong, the provider, and not complain at any time. But sometimes it can be too much.

Unfortunately, when that is the case, they can act aggressively with the person that is the closest to them and scream. If that is what is going on, it may be important to discuss with your husband how else they can deal with their emotions, since you are not responsible for absorbing it all.

It is important to keep in mind that being yelled at is extremely difficult, you can feel disrespected, and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. So once you understand a little more about what are the main reasons why your husband may be screaming at you, now you can learn what you can do about it.

What can I do if my husband is yelling at me? 

If your husband is yelling at you, there are some ways you can deal with these situations. Here is what you can do.

Understand if it is a pattern 

The first thing you should do, if your husband is yelling at you, is try to understand what is happening. To help you understand what are the patterns of their yelling you can write down when it happens.

Knowing how your relationship was before, how this made you feel, and how they behaved after will give you a clear notion of what is happening. Having it in writing will help you to assess your emotions more rationally, since you may not be able to make excuses for them with what is written down.

Talk about it 

Once you understand what is happening in the relationship, and what is causing them to yell, you may want to talk about it with them. Tell them how their yelling is making you feel, and that you need their behavior to change.

By telling them that, you will be able to learn how willing they are to get better, and if this yelling is something that can go on for longer. If at any moment you realize that they are not looking for ways to improve, or that there is an abusive pattern to their yelling, it may be time to start considering that you should get out of this relationship.

Look for help 

Getting out of an abusive relationship is extremely difficult. Your husband may use different ways to make you stay with them. They can tell you that they are ill, or that they will get better, but you see no sign of that happening. 

To help you cope with that, and regain your strength, it may be important to look for help. It can be that simply sharing with friends will help you rebuild yourself, and give you the courage to walk away. 

But sometimes, especially when in an abusive relationship, you may feel like it took so much out of you that you may need professional help so you can regain some control over your life.

Get out of this situation

As you surround yourself with positive relationships and discover that the yelling in this relationship is not something you should tolerate, it is time that you decide to walk away. Getting out is not easy, but staying and being yelled at, and abused is not something one should be okay with.

Know that you deserve a lot more and that there are other relationships in which you won’t be put as the person’s punching bag. 

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): Why is my husband yelling at me? 

Can yelling be normal in a relationship?

Sometimes it can be normal for people to yell in a relationship. It can be that they are in an argument, and sometimes one of them loses their emotional control. But you should be aware that yelling shouldn’t be a common thing in a relationship, and especially shouldn’t be how a couple deals with conflict.

When that couple can only deal with things through yelling, it can imply that they often are disrespectful to one another, and say things without considering their repercussions. And with time that can be something that will harm the relationship.

Can being yelled at lead to trauma?

Yes, it is possible that being yelled at can lead a person to become traumatized. When that happens often in their formative years, a person may have been so anxious about being yelled at in the past, that at any moment in which it happens, be it at work, or in their personal life, they can be triggered back to that state.

To deal with that, it may be important that the person goes to therapy. This will allow them to understand more about their trauma, and to differentiate any yelling that they go through now, so they are not so deeply impacted by it.

Do people only yell when they are angry?

No, people can also yell when they are facing something incredibly exciting to them. But most of the time yelling is often related to a sign of aggression, as it often happens when people are frustrated, or going through an argument. 

If you realize you have been yelling too much when frustrated, it may be important to look for help to help you manage your emotions more constructively. Keep in mind that it is normal to be frustrated, what you shouldn’t do is inflict pain on others because you are unable to deal with your frustration.

What are some signs of anger issues?

When someone has anger issues, it will often show itself in the way they relate to others. They can easily become verbally or physically abusive, you can see that they are feeling angry most of the time, and especially that this anger seems to be out of control.

A person who has anger issues will notice that even the slightest inconvenience will be something that will cause them to be angry, and once it is gone, they will likely regret it, and start to apologize to people a lot.

Is yelling a good way to cope with stress?

Yes, yelling can be a good way to deal with stress. That is because when you yell, the oxygen you use for it can lead you to experience a sense of calm. But this doesn’t mean that you should just go yelling at people.

It may be a good coping strategy to yell at your pillow as you feel too stressed. But don’t do it to others, as it is extremely disrespectful.


This article centered on the main reasons why your husband may be yelling at you. But aside from that, the article also explained what you can do in those moments.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write them in the section below.


How to Stop Your Husband from Yelling at You: 6 Effective Ways