Why is my boyfriend annoyed with my anxiety?

This article will discuss why your boyfriend may be annoyed with your anxiety. It will explain what this can do to your relationship, and how you can deal with this situation.

Why is my boyfriend annoyed with my anxiety? 

If you are struggling with anxiety, and you have a boyfriend that, unfortunately, sometimes acts like they are annoyed with your anxiety, know that there are a couple of reasons why that can happen. Let’s discuss what they are.

They don’t understand what anxiety is 

Your boyfriend can get annoyed with your anxiety if they don’t understand what it means to have an anxiety disorder, or how the condition makes you feel. And even though it is extremely disrespectful to be annoyed when your partner is struggling with something this difficult, it can simply be a sign of misinformation.

There is still a lot of stigma around mental illness, be it anxiety, or any other. People can still think, sometimes, that people got sick as a choice, or even that anxiety is not an illness. Sometimes the person can also be a part of a religion that understands mental illness as a form of sin.

If your boyfriend comes from any of those backgrounds, anxiety may not make that much sense to him. He may not know how it affects you, and how intense the symptoms can get. This can make them annoyed because with anxiety comes a lot of readjusting.

If you have social anxiety, for example, you may often be discussing with your boyfriend how to avoid being in crowded places. And if at some point he wants to go somewhere that you feel would be difficult for you, it can make him feel annoyed.

They are not supportive 

Dealing with anxiety is not simple, no one would want to go through that. But sometimes going through a hard moment will allow your partner to show you they are by your side. 

If you have been struggling with anxiety, and you observe your boyfriend is constantly getting annoyed about how you feel, it may be a sign that, unfortunately, they are not supportive.

Sometimes, aside from being annoyed, your boyfriend can even let out some mean, and demeaning comments. They may tell you that they are tired of accommodating your needs, or that you are weak, or constantly in fear. All of those awful lines may be evidence that this is not a good relationship for you at the moment.

Anxiety affects you in deep ways, and in dealing with that, social support can be extremely important. Being with people that question your feelings, and put your condition in check can be even more detrimental to your mental health, leading you to even develop other conditions such as depression. 

If you feel that your boyfriend is unsupportive, it may be important to assess how this relationship can go any further, since it seems that, at any moment you need to count on their support, you won’t be able to.

But before making any moves, or decisions, let’s discuss what are your options when you feel your boyfriend is annoyed with your anxiety.

What can I do if my boyfriend is annoyed with my anxiety? 

If you feel your boyfriend is annoyed with your anxiety, there are a few things that you can do. Let’s discuss what they are.

Accept how you feel 

If your boyfriend feels annoyed with your anxiety, it is possible that at some point you start to try to hide what you are feeling, and go through. This can be extremely detrimental to your mental health, since the more you repress how you feel, the worse it gets.

What you should do is validate how you feel, and even if your boyfriend gets annoyed by it, keep in mind that it wasn’t a choice and that you are suffering. Accepting how you feel doesn’t mean you are embracing your anxiety and never wanting to change it, but it means that you won’t add the guilt on top of all that you are already going through.

Talk about it 

If you feel your boyfriend is annoyed at your anxiety, especially if it happens because he doesn’t have enough information about it, you may want to talk about it with him and explain how it works.

Get some articles that talk about anxiety, and be prepared to explain how anxiety feels to you since it is always different for each person. Tell them what types of things are difficult for you at the moment, because of anxiety, and how they can help you through your treatment.

Let them know what type of support, and help you hope they can give you, and be open to whatever questions they have on the matter. This may not be a one-time conversation, but taking the first step and opening this channel can make your relationship get back on track, even if you are dealing with anxiety.

Look for couple’s therapy 

Sometimes it may be hard to talk about anxiety, and how annoyed your boyfriend feels about it on your own. So in those cases, having a third party, a couple’s therapist, can help the two of you through it.

It can help you build more solid communication, and it is a space in which you can openly talk about how their annoyance has been affecting you. Maybe in this space, the two of you can rebuild the relationship without any resentment.

Consider if this is a healthy relationship for you

But if you have given your boyfriend the time and energy to try and understand what is happening with you, and they still seem unsupportive and annoyed by your anxiety, it may be time to question yourself if this is a relationship that is worth it for you.

Being with someone demeaning, and that can’t find a way to support you in your difficult times, can be difficult now, but it will only get harder with time. 

Try to understand if there is any chance for this relationship, and your boyfriend’s behavior to change, otherwise, it may be time to consider leaving this relationship behind, and focus on yourself and your mental health. You don’t need a relationship to add to all the pain you are already experiencing.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): Why is my boyfriend annoyed with my anxiety? 

Can anxiety affect my relationship?

Yes, anxiety can affect your relationship in many ways. It can make you want to isolate yourself, making it difficult to be with your partner. Or sometimes it can even make you too dependent on them, which may cause you to be more insecure, and fear that they will leave you.

Which can make you cling to them too hard. Anxiety can also make you constantly worried, and you will imagine everything that can go wrong with each situation. That can make your partner feel like you are only looking at things through a negative lens, making it harder to deal with in everyday life.

Should I break up with my girlfriend that has anxiety?

It may be difficult to say if you should break up or not with your girlfriend that has anxiety. You may need to assess how their anxiety is impacting the relationship, and how it is impacting you. 

If you feel that dealing with their anxiety is detrimental to your mental health, it may be important that you look for support, and maybe get some distance from this relationship.

You should also assess if your girlfriend is getting the proper treatment since it is only through it that she will be able to get better. It is important to keep in mind that a person with an anxiety disorder is completely able to have a healthy relationship. A good relationship can even be a positive way for them to cope.

So if you feel that your girlfriend is working through her condition and that you can be by their side, there is no need to end the relationship just because they have an anxiety disorder.

How can I help my girlfriend that has anxiety?

If your girlfriend has anxiety, the first thing you can do is try to be by their side. But you should know that there is a difference between being by their side, and trying to fix things, which can be detrimental. 

You should also hear what they say, and what they are worried about, instead of just trying to make them understand they shouldn’t be afraid of something.

Being honest with them, not belittling them, or treating them like a child can also be extremely helpful. You should also work on understanding that people experience things differently, so something completely ordinary to you will often be a big source of anxiety to them, and you should embrace it.

You can also help by making them feel safe, but also having your own life, and activities. And if it ever gets to the point that you don’t know what to do, you should just ask them how you can help, and they will surely tell you.

What are the biggest red flags in a relationship?

A big red flag in a relationship is if your gut is telling you to not go on with that person, but you choose to not trust it. If the person has ever ghosted you, it can also be a red flag. Even if they come back, you should still be suspicious.

If the person is inconsistent in the things they say, or do, it is a red flag that this may appear in your relationship at some point. If someone only gets in touch with you when they are bored, it is also a red flag that this may not be a good relationship.

And if you ever notice that the person wants to be with you just to play house, meaning they are more interested in having someone to fulfill their needs, rather than being with someone they like, it can also be a red flag.

Can hugging help someone that is going through a panic attack?

Yes, when a person is having a panic attack, if you hug them, it can be a way of containing them, and it can give them a sense of safety. But you should discuss this with the person that has the panic attack since it doesn’t always feel the same for everyone.

Conclusion 

This article showed the main reasons why your boyfriend may be annoyed with your anxiety. It explained how this can impact your relationship, and the best ways for you to cope with it.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write them in the section below.

Reference

‘You need to get over it,’ he said. ‘You’re being ridiculous.’ My boyfriend yelled at me in our Uber. He was so upset with me, and told me I was ‘too emotional.’ All I felt was fear.’

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/your-stories/my-anxiety-dating-my-boyfriend/