Why doesn’t my husband talk to me? 

It can be distressing when your husband doesn’t talk to you. This usually happens for a varied number of reasons, but sometimes it can also be because this is the general personality of your husband.

In such a case communication, understanding and empathy is what can help your relationship. In this article we try to understand the reasons behind this, and how to work around this. We need to compromise but also be true to ourselves in the relationship.

These are the topics we’ll be covering:

  • Why doesn’t my husband talk to me ?
  • How can I solve this issue? 
  • What are the red flags ? 

Why doesn’t my husband talk to me? 

Your husband might not talk to you for the following reasons : 

  • He has a shy personality
  • He’s introverted 
  • He doesn’t come from a communicative household
  • He is unable to express his feelings 
  • He’s worried he might be misunderstood

He has a shy personality

Your husband might have a personality that prevents him from sharing much. He could be this way because he was born this way or he comes from a family that is the same. 

Most times people who are shy just learn to live their lives without sharing or speaking much. It’s not like they have any problem or they’ve gone through an event which has caused them to be this way. 

In such a situation it would mean that you’d have to adjust with your husband and learn how to build your life around each other. 

He’s introverted

Introverted people are very used to being by themselves. They tend to enjoy their own company. Unlike extroverts who need external stimuli to feel happy, introverted individuals don’t. 

They are satisfied with their own company and don’t mind being alone for most of it. They tend to focus on the things they like to do, and their work. They might have a hobby or hobbies that they indulge in. 

If this is the case, try to take interest in your husband’s hobbies, this might help him open up to you more frequently as you have a common ground. 

He doesn’t come from a communicative household

In some families communication isn’t key, and they work better that way. It’s not to say that they have unresolved issues, but this can just be the way they function.

If this is how your husband has grown up, sharing and talking about issues might not be a priority for him. He might not feel the need for this as well. 

In such a case it’s up to you to speak about what you expect. You need to open up and you would also have to accept the fact that, even in future you might have to be the one to initiate conversations. 

And that’s okay because with time, your husband will learn to communicate. If he has grown up in a different way, it’s not going to be easy for him to change. 

He’s unable to express his feelings

Your husband might not be able to put his feelings into words. Most men are discouraged from speaking about their feelings. It is seen as a sign of weakness by our patriarchal societies. This in fact leads to high amounts of emotional pressure. 

They might tend to bottle up their feelings without knowing how to put them into words. In these situations it always helps to lead by example. 

When you open up about your vulnerabilities it might also show your husband that it’s okay to speak about our emotions. 

He’s worried about being misunderstood

Due to the differences between men and women , there are misunderstandings that reccur in a relationship. What might be a problem for you, might not be seen the same way by your husband. 

This is due to the difference in upbringing for boys and girls. It takes time to explore these differences and try to untangle them as well.  

Remember that, your husband might be unable to express his feelings aslo due to the fact that he can possibly be misunderstood. If this has happened in the past, it’s better to probe into this topic and understand where he was misunderstood.

It could have been just one word or phrase that you caught onto, which was not meant to be highlighted. 

How can I solve this issue?

If your husband doesn’t talk to you, there is nothing you can do to completely solve the issue. The solution lies in communication. It is up to both of you to work on the issue at hand together. 

If you think of solving this whole issue on your own, you might end up becoming controlling, which could isolate your husband. Thus, it’s critical to understand that this is going to require effort from both ends. 

  •  Find a hobby 

Find a hobby or activity that you can both do together. Maybe something that requires you to work as a team. This usually helps in building context and makes it easier for the conversation to flow. 

You’d have to understand your husband’s interests as well before you do this.

  • Couples therapy

If speaking to your husband is not an option because he doesn’t respond to you, then it might be time to go for couples therapy. 

Having a mediator and being in a situation that requires you to participate might help in this situation. Remember that this is required if you really want your relationship to work because without communication it won’t last too long. 

  • Have a “no gadgets” hour

In this day and age with technology taking over our lives, we might be losing out on human touch. Couples tend to be overworked and constantly on their devices. 

Make sure to have at least one hour without any gadgets or devices. Utilise this time to indulge in cooking together, or just having a cup of coffee. Build a kind of comfort zone where you and your husband can coexist. 

What are the red flags? 

The red flags in a marriage where your husband doesn’t talk to you, can be many. But it’s important to spot them as soon as you can. Once you’ve spotted a red flag , the next step would be to address it with your husband. 

But before that, what really are red flags? Red flags are problematic statements, behaviour or anything else that is affecting your relationship and most importantly you. It’s mostly a sign that if you don’t address and get rid of the red flag, it might bother you in future as well. 

  • If your husband isn’t talking to you after repeated effort to work on the relationship from your side. 
  • If your husband isn’t talking to you directly but uses a third person to communicate to you. 
  • If your husband doesn’t talk to you and also walks away when you’re talking. 
  • When your husband uses this card as a silent treatment, this is toxic. 
  • If your husband doesn’t talk to you but always criticises you. 
  • When he doesn’t talk to you while you’re alone but acts normal when people are around, or you have guests and family home. 

These are signs that something is quite wrong in the relationship. It openly shows that there is no balance in the relationship. This is when you need to start taking things much more seriously. 

You also need to know when to walk away from the relationship. This can be painful in that moment, however in the long run, this is much better. 

Conclusion

When your husband doesn’t talk to you, it can be a very exhausting and draining experience. You might also be confused, this is why communication is the foundation of any relationship. Try to remind your husband of the same thing whilst giving him the space to learn and grow. As you are respectful of his boundaries you should also remember your own boundaries. 

If you have any queries or questions please drop them in the comment box below.

FAQs- My husband doesn’t talk to me

What do you do when your husband won’t talk to you?

When your husband won’t talk to you, there are two important things, support and attentiveness. These two things help in drawing your partner out with love and showing him that you care. 

Is it normal for married couples to not talk? 

Yes, it is normal for married couples to not talk as it is just the same conversation over and over again. However, it’s still important to communicate the important things to each other and make sure that there’s honesty.

What does it mean when your husband stops talking to you?

When your husband stops talking to you, it’s a signal that something isn’t right in the relationship. As a couple it is necessary to understand the changes, speak of it and regain the connection. 

What does silence mean in a relationship?

Silence can mean a sign of avoidance. Maybe your partner isn’t able to express their feelings or doesn’t want to express their feelings. There is an unwillingness or inability. 

Is silence okay in a relationship? 

Yes, silence is okay in a relationship when it has been a long term relationship. Silence can feel natural in such cases. It’s always best to embrace the quiet moments instead of worrying about what to say next.b

References

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