Why does my boyfriend look at other females?

When your boyfriend looks at other females it is natural to feel emotions such as jealousy, angery, envy and sadness. These emotions can also cause you distress and affect your relationship and sometimes even change your perception about yourself. 

In this article we will be looking at why your boyfriend does look at other females. How to deal with the emotions you feel, and also how to stand up for yourself and not lose yourself in the process. 

These are the topics that we will be reading about: 

  • Why does my boyfriend look at other females?
  • How do I communicate my feelings about this? 
  • What should I do next? 

Why does my boyfriend look at other females?

Your boyfriend is looking at other females probably because:

  • He’s not completely committed to you 
  • He’s attracted to them 
  • He’s not interested in the relationship
  • He’s growing distant

He’s not completely committed to you

As heartbreaking as this is, we cannot rule out the possibility that your boyfriend might not be fully committed to you. It’s important to remember and understand why we come to this conclusion. 

When your boyfriend looks at other females, it will definitely bother you. This is natural and it does not mean you’re controlling or extra possessive. Obviously you and your boyfriend can look at others from the respective opposite sex, but if this is getting too much, happening too often and affecting your trust, it is a matter of concern. 

This to a certain extent does show that your boyfriend’s interests might not fully be with you. He might have desires that aren’t in accordance with your relationship. 

He’s attracted to them

As we know there is a disparity in the races when it comes to attraction. Women are found to be attracted to men when they’re interested in their personalities. The more often they meet someone the more they tend to find them attracted. However for men there isn’t really an emotional connection when it comes to attraction.

At least not initially, it builds on later. Thus it is naturally a possibility that if your boyfriend is looking at other females, he is attracted to these other women. 

He’s not interested in the relationship

This is a natural thing to assume or believe if your boyfriend is looking at other females. It does show that his interest lies elsewhere and isn’t in the relationship. 

While it is natural for men and women to be attracted to other people even when they are in a relationship, it is a problem when neither are able to take this in good spirit. That shows there are blind spots in the relationship which are giving way to insecurity, doubts and jealousy. 

In such a situation it’s important to address the issue before it gets stretched. The chances of it hurting you are higher when things are left unsaid and it reaches breaking point. 

He’s growing distant

If your boyfriend is growing distant it can lead to him getting attracted to other women. It’s not uncommon for couples to lose the spark once their relationship gets out of the honeymoon phase. 

It isn’t realistic to believe or expect the honeymoon phase to last forever. But when it ends, couples usually grow and find things they can do together. They find love in different ways while being together. This is how relationships manage to stay fresh and new, even after long. 

It could be that something like that is missing in your relationship. You both could have fallen out of love, but that’s okay. However it does mean you need to have a conversation. 

How do I communicate my feelings about this? 

This can be a difficult situation to tackle. And it’s important to understand that and give yourself the time ,space and energy. Acting impulsively and out of your emotions might cause a lot of chaos and alone with this it can cause you excessive pain.

When you act out of your emotions you put yourself in the line of fire. It will be chaotic and might also result in you spending more energy than you intended to. 

It is important to keep the following points in mind when you try to communicate : 

  • Speak about your feelings
  • Draw your boundaries
  • Express your discomfort
  • Communicate till you’ve reached a decision

Speak about your feelings

It is important to make sense of how you’re feeling. And it is normal if you feel an emotion that you wouldn’t have expected to feel. If your boyfriend looking at other females has led to you being doubtful of his actions then let him know.

Instead of trying to ascertain if these doubts are valid or not. It’s best if you can confront your boyfriend about this first. Trying to ascertain would lead you to probably cross boundaries and complicate it further. 

Draw your boundaries

Once you do notice this behaviour, make it a point to draw your boundary, and mark where you stand. 

Disrespect cannot be a form of love and it’s important to always remember that.  Some girlfriends might be casual about these things, it probably doesn’t affect them as well. That’s their choice and it’s completely fine, however if you don’t feel the same way that’s also normal. 

Your boyfriend might convince you that this is something you shouldn’t worry about, but if it hurts you over and over again, then maybe this is your boundary. This is something you’d never be okay with. So make sure your boyfriend knows this. 

Express your discomfort

Most of the time when these things happen you might switch off completely. You might be so hurt thinking of all the possible reasons, that you could act out in different ways. 

But it’s important to channelise your emotions and express it in the right way instead of bursting out at random times. Remember that expressing your emotions is equal to standing up for yourself. It’s important to give your emotions the right outlet. 

Communicate till you’ve reached a decision 

You need to remember that these things don’t solve itself. In a relationship it’s normal to have such issues and fought patches but what matters is how you get through it. 

So naturally even with this issue you need to keep working on it. If you feel like things are not working, and it’s getting stretched then make the call to end the relationship, or take a break to re-route. 

It can be painful to make that decision or it can take alot of courage to do so especially if it’s been a toxic relationship. But you need to respect your boundaries and needs first, otherwise there is a possibility that you will have regrets. 


When your boyfriend looks at other females, it can be distressing and cause you a lot of self-doubt and pain. It’s important to work through those emotions by communicating with your boyfriend and also standing up for yourself. After all, it is best when one does not have regrets in life. 

FAQs- My boyfriend looks at other females

Is it OK if my boyfriend looks at other girls?

Yes it is okay if your boyfriend looks at other girls. It is also normal for women to have the same reaction and look at other men. This is completely normal when you’re in a relationship.  However it is a problem only if you aren’t comfortable with it. 

Why do I get jealous when my boyfriend likes another woman’s picture?

 You get jealous when your boyfriend likes another woman’s picture because you’re probably not getting enough attention. And this is probably making you feel insecure. This means you’d have to talk about your needs in the relationship and help him understand. 

What is micro cheating?

Micro cheating is usually behaviour that is subjective and natural when it comes to certain people. Cheating that might be a big mistake can look like a minor issue for some, and might not even be an issue for others.

Why do guys like their exes’ pictures? 

 Guys like their exes’ pictures because they weren’t totally ready for the relationship to be over. And by doing this they are probably still keeping some part of that attachment alive. 

Is liking someone’s picture cheating? 

No, liking someone’s picture isn’t cheating. However if you do have feelings for this person or you’re trying to gauge their attention by doing so, then yes, that can be considered cheating.



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