Why does it feel like you hate therapy ?

Why does it feel like you hate therapy ?

At the start of any interaction between people, there are several factors which need to be considered. These fall into two categories: task behaviors and social behaviors. Task behaviors are specifically related to the context of communicating with others (e.g., conflict & conflict mitigation strategies). 

Whereas social behaviours are what will determine how comfortable participants feel during the interaction (e.g., considering the aspects of facial expressions, tone of voice etc.) 

The role that nonverbal communication plays is just as important as oral language itself is to an interpersonal relationship. Without these social cues, participants may not easily trust one another, or they might even misinterpret each other’s intentions entirely!

Money is a hindrance.

Many people feel they don’t have enough time. Between working, raising a family, keeping your home clean, taking care of elderly parents, etc. you probably don’t have a lot of free time. So the question is not about how to find more time but rather how do you make the most of the time that you do have? Making use of something like chunking can be helpful here—this means making use of non-commute times like during lunch or dinner to work on personal projects or spend extra time learning new skills. For example, you might decide not to go out to eat with co-workers during your lunch break so that you have more time at home in the evening to study for finals. Or using commuting times to listen/watch educational videos on new skill sets could be another way one could also gain extra knowledge that would otherwise take precious hours away from other tasks on your plate.

Time management

In a world so consumed with time management, it can be easy to get frustrated. Let’s face it – there are a lot of things that we could do but simply don’t have the time… For example, between working a full-time job, raising a family and taking care of elderly parents – you probably don’t have a lot of spare time! That being said, one needs to make time for what is most important. And sometimes that means saying no to certain other things. While it may seem like you don’t have anything important enough, think about how much better you will feel by making small sacrifices every day. 

Taking your lunch hour to go see a therapist every now and then will surely help relieve some stress and ultimately benefit you in the long run! Getting up an hour earlier to have a morning appointment before work might be an option as well. 

People are so busy in life and work that they simply don’t have time to deal with their mental health. However, this doesn’t mean that when you don’t deal with it, your problems will go away. In fact when you don’t deal with it sooner than later, it will start to affect and overload you and show up and affect the kind of person who you really want to be. 

So no matter what it is you choose to do, even if it’s simple things like reading a book or going for a walk, try to take some time every day to figure out what’s working and what’s not in your head because doing so means that whatever challenges might get stacked up against you one day will get processed before they get worse and take more time out of your day for other matters.

Misconceptions about confidentiality.

Psychotherapy is private, and the information shared in sessions is protected by law. What you choose to discuss with your therapist will not exit the treatment room as long as you are not a danger to others. So, trust me, seeing a therapist will not get you on the news.

One bad experience.

Every psychologist is an individual with their own personality, so there’s no need to think that a new therapist will fail you in the same manner that your previous one did. Almost certainly, the person you saw back then was not someone with whom you could connect. By definition, another psychologist will be unique.

Side Note: I have tried and tested various products and services to help with my anxiety and depression. See my top recommendations here, as well as a full list of all products and services our team has tested for various mental health conditions and general wellness.

There is a mismatch between the client’s struggle and the therapeutic approach used.

As each person has their own personal opinions and preferences for all topics in life, therapists will impart their ideas about what therapeutic approaches they believe are helpful. When you select a therapist, you may also choose from a variety of different options for how they would like to get your trust and best help get to know your individual needs.

An example for this is stated as follows:

During my anxiety disorder treatment, I saw two psychiatrists who took two completely different approaches, neither of which worked for me. Because they weren’t helping at the time, I assumed that all counselling was ineffective.In retrospect, it wasn’t that all therapy was ineffective; rather, the tactics used by those psychiatrists were ineffective for me at the time. 

As a result, there was a therapeutic mismatch between the problems I was having and the therapists’ recommended therapeutic method. The last therapist I saw, on the other hand, met me where I needed to be at the time. He accomplished this in four ways:

  • My biggest concern – my symptoms – was the first thing he addressed. He stated why I was in possession of them.
  • He explained why it might take some time for my symptoms to go away, which was a question no one had ever addressed before.
  • He supported me every step of the way till my symptoms subsided and I felt like I was on the correct route.
  • He told me that my personality type didn’t match the job I was doing.
  • We didn’t even discuss what we now refer to as Level Two recovery concepts because they weren’t applicable to my situation at the time. I felt ready to move on with the remainder after we had addressed my most pressing concerns.
  • If treatment was ineffective for you, it could have been the wrong therapeutic strategy for you.

Unrealistic expectations

The client isn’t being truthful or realistic about their problems. Many people are ashamed or anxious about discussing their most troubling behaviours or ideas, and they only tell their therapist part of the tale. 

For example, a woman may be upset that all of her boyfriends abandon her, and she wants to improve her ability to recognise appropriate relationship behaviours. However, she is unlikely to achieve her stated aim if she does not disclose that she is secretly drinking everyday, abusing prescribed medicines, and surreptitiously flirting with males on the internet any night she is not with a man.

Transference/countertransference issues.

Transference is what happens in psychotherapies when a client projects their emotions or desires onto the therapist. It’s useful to discuss a client’s transference when it is appropriate and in line with the client’s treatment. But sometimes, these feelings can create issues that are counterproductive to the treatment progression and some therapists will offer clients referrals to other therapists because they feel that other therapists would be better suited to help the client progress.

For example, if a client reveals that he molested a child, and the therapist has a strong negative countertransference towards the client based on their own life traumas, this might make them feel unable to offer an unbiased and supportive environment for the client in order to make progress towards developing healthier behaviors.

Alternatively, if the client develops a love transference towards the therapist, and despite the therapist’s clearly stated boundaries, acts out their feelings by continued attempts to touch their therapist, suggesting inappropriate romantic activities, and/or any other boundary violations towards their therapist, this would be unlikely to lead to successful therapy.

Medication looks more appealing

A lot of people think that all a therapist does is write prescriptions for patients. It’s unfortunate, but like many aspects of the field, they’re easily accessible in local stores. But there is more to it than just prescribing drugs. They talk with you about your condition and help you come up with an individualized treatment plan!

Therapists don’t say anything; they just sit there and judge you.

That is dependent on the type of psychologist you are consulting. Many of them will tell you right away that they enjoy saying what they’re thinking. Many of them provide practical counsel or extensive input on how they perceive you and your challenges. Even therapists who spend more time listening than talking aren’t passing judgement; they’re silently working to understand your difficulties in your perspective, empathically. 

Also, if you believe your therapist is judging you, you should express your dissatisfaction. It may feel awkward at first, but your therapist will most likely be happy to discuss any feelings that occur throughout treatment—including those brought up by the therapist or the patient.

Therapy is perceived as a money making scam

It’s important to remember that each person has a different experience with mental health and their experience with therapy will greatly vary. It’s important to remember that people generally do not choose psychotherapy as a career because they want to make a lot of money. 

The main purpose of any therapy is to help people deal with situational issues, learn new coping mechanisms and better understand themselves and others. If anything, therapists help people save money on things like prescription drugs and getting more involved with the world around them. A lot of people choose therapy as a way to make positive changes in their lives and really enjoy the process.

What we recommend for Counselling

Professional counselling

If you are suffering from depression or any other mental disorders then ongoing professional counselling could be your ideal first point of call. Counselling will utilize theories such as Cognitive behavioural therapy which will help you live a more fulfilling life.