Why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship?

This article will discuss some reasons why a guy may keep you around even if they don’t want a relationship. The article will also explain what you can do when you are in this situation.

Why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship? 

When you are involved with a guy, but you have already talked about it, and they said they don’t want a relationship, but they are still keeping you around, there may be some reasons for that. 

It may be hard to deal with this situation, and you can begin to question your self-worth. But keep in mind that there is nothing wrong with the way you look, or how you are. Unfortunately, our emotions work in that way, and we won’t be attractive to everyone. 

Know that there are reasons why he is keeping you around, but in the end, it is up to you if you will keep yourself in a situation that is giving you less than what you want. So here are the most common reasons why a guy would keep you around even if he doesn’t want a relationship.

He is not sure of what he wants 

This is extremely normal, and we have all been there. Sometimes you just start to date someone and don’t have a concrete plan on where you want that relationship to go. He may be going through that.

He knows he is ready to be dating, but it isn’t quite clear to him yet if he is ready to be in a committed relationship. So he may just want to go with the flow of things, and see how it goes.

It may be too soon to call it a relationship 

It can also be that you have forgotten that people have different timing in life. Especially when it comes to relationships, men and women are a lot different. They understand that someone they are dating has what it takes to be in a relationship at different moments.

For women, this is something that usually happens a lot sooner than it does with men. That is because women will be more connected to how they feel, to their emotions. 

As for men, they will be more rational and will weigh in various aspects before considering if this person they are dating is someone they should consider having a relationship with.

This is something that feels convenient to him 

On the other hand, sometimes men will keep a connection just because it feels convenient to them. He may not want to be alone or want to have a backup they can call. And unfortunately, it can be that they put you in that category.

When they get you in the convenience category, they will hardly think of committing. That is because they already have you available whenever they need you, so they see no point in that. 

He is still dealing with previous relationships 

Sometimes when a guy is having trouble committing or labeling the relationship it may be because they are sorting through old relationships. What you need to understand at this point is if they are working on getting over their ex, or if they are still hoping to get them back.

If it is the first option, it may be that they won’t be ready to be fully in a new relationship until they have gone through the trauma of the previous one, but it may not always mean they are just playing around with you.

But on the other hand, if you realize that they are still hoping to get their ex back, this may mean that they are putting you, once again, in that place of convenience. That you are someone that is just there to fill his needs, be it making their ex jealous, or keeping them company when they don’t want to be alone.

They are not ready to be exclusive 

There are various reasons why men may not be ready to be exclusive. It can be because they are in a moment of their lives that they are enjoying being single, or even. After all,  they have also been going out with other people.

He is not sure you want a relationship 

But sometimes it can also be that they don’t know what you want from this. The two of you may have started to casually date, and at some point, the feelings began to arise. But if the two of you haven’t talked about it, it may be that they are holding back because they are not clear on what you want.

Some guys are extremely scared of getting rejected, and this may hit them so hard to a point that they will just keep things as they are, instead of giving a try to get something more.

He is afraid of getting hurt 

We have all been through this, women and men both have feelings, and sometimes, after we go through a situation that hurts us deeply, we need some time to regroup, and recover.

This traumatic experience may cause him to feel anxious when it comes to relationships. And this can cause him to say he doesn’t want a relationship at the moment.

There is a lot of pressure

Sometimes, when women have a clear idea of what they want in a relationship, they may have tried to talk it over with the guy. And as they say, they are not ready for a relationship, the woman will change her behavior.

She can begin to pressure him a lot and make things seem bigger than they are. You are saying you want to be exclusive, but in the way you have been behaving, they may start to think you are already considering marriage. All of this makes it harder for them to process what you want, and think reasonably about it. 

So if you feel you have been investing in something with a guy that says he doesn’t want a relationship but is still keeping you around, know that there are some ways to deal with this. Here is what you can do.

What can I do if he keeps me around even if he doesn’t want a relationship? 

If he says he doesn’t want a relationship but is still keeping you around, and you have figured out why that is, here is what you should do.

Talk it over 

If you have realized that they are not considering a relationship with you because his goals and even yours are not clear, a good conversation may help. Try to understand if you two are walking towards the same goal, and then maybe there is a chance, even if it is not now, for this to turn into a relationship.

Let them catch up to you 

People work differently and have different timing. If you notice they are processing traumas, or are slowly developing feelings for you, it may be important to give them time to do so. 

Sometimes we lose track of this fact, and we just want the other to be feeling the same thing we are feeling. But that is hardly possible, try not to pressure them, as it can make it all worse. 

What you need to assure yourself is that they are open to getting deeply connected with someone, so at some point that someone can be you.

Remember your worth 

If you feel that he is just keeping you as a backup, or is really in love with the single life, you may have concluded that as much as you want him, he may not be ready to want you.

Coming to this conclusion can be extremely hurtful. But it is better that you know that, and distance yourself than to keep investing in something that will never give you what you want or deserve.

If he is just keeping you there for his convenience, remember your worth, and it may be the time to put a stop to this situation. You will be loved by someone that just can’t wait to be in a relationship with you.

Tell them what you want out of this

But if you feel that things are not moving forward because you have to send them mixed signals, try to tell them what you want out of this connection, and see if he steps up to it.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): Why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship? 

How do I make a guy want a relationship?

The first thing you need to do to make them want a relationship is to show them you know your value, and show them what you want, but without making plans. Get close to the people he loves, and make sure the two of you have fun together, be in outdoor activities, or even during sex.

When should I cut off a guy?

You should cut a guy off if you ever realize he is not worth it. If the communication you are having is only through text, and what you know about his life is mostly from social media, rather than him telling you, it may be a sign to cut him off.

Aside from that, if they give you too many compliments, or too few, or he is constantly saying he misses you but makes no effort to meet, it is a sign that you should cut them off. And the final sign is if he is in another relationship with another girl.

Should I wait for him to be ready to have a relationship?

This is a difficult answer to give. If you feel that they are dealing with issues or past traumas that are preventing them from being in a relationship, and you feel like they are doing the work to get better, it may be that waiting can make your connection grow. 

But if you realize there is no clear reason why they are not ready, it may mean that you are wasting your time.

How do I tell if a guy is interested through text?

When a guy is interested they will often reply to your text right away, will often send you good morning, and be interested in knowing how you are. If he tells you that he prefers to be with you, rather than texting, it may also be a clear sign that they are interested.

How do I know when a guy doesn’t want a relationship?

Usually, when a guy doesn’t want a relationship, they will act as if they are not interested in what you have to say, and they will not listen to you.


This article showed what are the main reasons why a guy may keep you around even if they don’t want a relationship. Aside from that, the article explained what you can do when you are faced with this situation.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write them in the section below.



10 Reasons He’s Keeping You Around When He Doesn’t Want A Relationship