Why does everyone hate me? (+9 Cognitive strategies)

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Page last updated: 12/11/2022

In this post, we will be describing the reasons why you sometimes feel that everyone hates you. Furthermore, we will also be giving you a few coping strategies that you can use when you feel that everyone hates you.

Why does everyone hate me?

Everyone hates you or you feel that everyone hates you because of the following reasons,

You are extremely sensitive

The most common reason why you feel that everyone hates you is because you simply have a very sensitive personality. When you are a sensitive person by nature, you will be hurt by even the smallest things that someone else says to you at one point of time or the other.

You have low self-esteem

Another reason why you may feel that everyone else hates you is because you are suffering from low self-esteem. Low self-esteem can occur because of a recent event, but can also be because of a bigger mental health issue that you are suffering from.

You keep comparing yourself with others

One more main reason why you feel that everyone hates you is simply because you keep comparing yourself with others. When we compare our abilities and personalities with that of others, our self-esteem gets hit, which in turn leads us to feel that everyone hates us.

You have a paranoid personality

If you are someone who has a paranoid personality very naturally, this can also lead you to feel that those around you hate you. Paranoia can stem from esteem and self-confidence issues, and also because of any emotional trauma which we have dealt with in the past.

You have been hurt before

Emotional trauma at any age can lead to repercussions in terms of self-esteem and self-confidence. If you have gone through any specific trauma, especially at the hands of someone else, you might feel much later that everyone else hates you triggered by even minute stimuli.

People have told you that they hate you

If someone has openly told you that they hate you, this can also lead you to feel that it is true that everyone else hates you as well. This is especially harmful if someone very important to you has told you this.

You are stuck in a rut

One main reason for your self-esteem coming crashing down is when you are stuck in a rut or a dull routine. If nothing exciting is happening in your life or especially if you are single and feeling lonely, you might feel that everyone hates you.

You have experienced bullying before

Another reason why you may feel that everyone hates you is because someone else has bullied you in the past. This can be in the form of a loved one, family members and even peers at your childhood school.

You have a mental illness

If you have been diagnosed with a mental health illness, this can also be a reason why you might feel that everyone hates you. Mental illness can do much damage to your self-esteem but the good news is that this feeling disappears once you start treatment.

What to do when everyone hates you?

If you are feeling that everyone hates you, there are numerous ways to cope with this and change your thought process. Some ways and strategies to use when you feel that everyone hates you have been discussed in the following section.

  • Start writing your thoughts in a journal. One of the best things that you can do when you feel that everyone hates you is to start writing down your thoughts in a journal. As you begin to write what you are feeling every day, you will feel that you are able to cope.

Another great advantage that journaling can bring you is that it gives you a healthy space to vent and express your feelings. Since a journal is your safe space, you will find that you are able to express yourself without any judgments.

  • Try new cognitive strategies. Cognitive strategies are often prescribed by therapists to help people think in a better manner. But you do not necessarily have to go to therapy to learn new cognitive strategies.

There are numerous free cognitive tool-books online which can guide you to think better in a positive light. By using these, you can start reframing your thoughts so that you think only constructive ones.

  • Change your perspective about people and situations. Another great coping tool that you can use is to simply change your perspective about people. One of the biggest problems is that we often think that we are in control of how other people think.

But this is not the way. You need to realize that other people and their thoughts and actions are their own problems and not something that you need to deal with. This type of perspective can make you change your thought process about relationships and friends.

  • Start working out more. Our self-esteem is not only lodged in the way we think, but even the way we look. If you feel that your self-esteem is severely lacking, you can correct this by starting a healthy activity like regular physical exercise.

Another great thing about regularly working out is that exercise can release endorphins which can instantly lift your mood. Exercise can also make you feel much better about yourself as you find that you have more control over your agility and your strength.

  • Get the right people around you. When you surround yourself with negative people, your thoughts also turn out to be negative and your self-esteem further drops. Furthermore, negative people can also hurt you and make you feel that everyone else hates you.
  • Check your diet. Food also has a big effect on the way you think. If you find yourself feeling constantly low and thinking that everyone hates you, it is advised that you take a good look at the things that you are putting in your body and change your diet.

Certain aspects of your diet, especially ones that affect your gut health play a direct role in your mood. You can consult a dietician for this or simply start rating more sensibly focusing more on the right probiotics and supplements that your body needs.

  • Reevaluate your career. As discussed in the earlier section, when you are stuck in a rut for a long time, this can also make you feel low and can make you doubt yourself. If you are finding that your career is not going the way you like, it may be time to reevaluate.

This does not mean that you simply have to leave your job and then pursue something else. You can, however, try adding more skillsets to your repertoire and even try looking for better roles in other companies.

  • Find new hobbies. You can even try new hobbies and activities as part of your daily recreation. The benefits of getting a new hobby are numerous. New activities as part of recreation can also help you make friends with those who share similar interests.

Another superb thing that getting a new hobby or a pastime can do for you is that your self-esteem improves a lot since you find yourself doing new things spectacularly. When you are looking out for new hobbies, try something that is really constructive in nature.

  • Go to therapy. Another thing that you can try if you feel that everyone hates you is therapy. In therapy, you will learn the reasons why you actually feel this way and also find solutions for this. You will also learn more about self-improvement.

Conclusion

In this post, we have described the reasons why you sometimes feel that everyone hates you. Furthermore, we have also given you a few coping strategies that you can use when you feel that everyone hates you.

If you like this post, please leave your comments and questions in the space below.

Citations

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/325705
https://www.businessinsider.com/things-that-make-people-dislike-you-2015-10
https://www.cnbc.com/2019/10/03/therapist-shares-what-she-learned-about-those-who-say-i-hate-people.html
https://www.apa.org/gradpsych/2013/11/fraud
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4734881/
https://www.bbc.com/news/stories-45561334
https://advice.theshineapp.com/articles/the-gorgeous-reality-of-not-being-well-liked-by-everyone/
https://www.cnn.com/2011/10/04/health/depressed-brains-hate-differently/index.html