Why do I feel invisible? (+5 coping tips)

This article will show you what are the main reasons why you may be feeling invisible. It will also explain to you what you can do about this situation.

Why do I feel invisible? 

There are some reasons why you may be feeling invisible, here they are.

You were taught from a very young age you shouldn’t make yourself seen

When you have been raised in a family that makes you feel like what you think or feel is not important, you can easily feel invisible. This can happen because of your gender since, for example, a while ago women were just told to not have a say on matters.

Or even because you had one role in your family life that trapped you in a certain position. For example, your family may have been seeing you in a position in which you are constantly caring for other people’s needs, and putting them first. 

As a consequence of being stuck in this role for so long, you can begin to feel like no one sees you for who you are, and you feel invisible. To deal with this role or position you have been put on through your whole life it may be important for you to speak your mind.

It can only get worse if you are a shy person, or even an introvert, which can easily make you go to the background of certain situations. But disappearing from your own life won’t do you any good. As said before, to not be invisible you need to be able to tell others who you are.

It doesn’t need to be in a rage-driven moment, but you can begin to communicate to them how these assumptions on how you should behave make you feel. They may not understand it and sometimes can even say that you are just complaining. But focus on creating the new role you want to have in this family, and make yourself be seen.

You have not made a point on acting as you see fit 

When you ignore your intuition, and how your mind is telling you to act, you can begin to feel invisible. That happens because when you don’t do that, you give yourself the idea that your thoughts and feelings are not so important to the point you should honor and follow them. 

That will not only make you feel invisible, but it is also a certain way to put you in a more negative thought pattern, like one in which you are not important. It is not always easy to get out of this pattern and allow yourself to feel what you are feeling.

But it is only through this deeper connection with yourself that you will be able to get away from feeling invisible.

You are sacrificing being seen for the benefit of pleasing others 

Some people may start to feel invisible when they don’t listen to their intuition, and to what they are feeling, but to other people, it can be even more intense, and they feel invisible because they are not only not listening to themselves, but also putting other people’s needs and feelings ahead of their own.

There are many reasons why someone would be a people pleaser, but they all ultimately keep trying to be perfect for others without any consideration of what this may do to them. 

People pleasing also comes from a backward idea. It is the idea that if you do everything the person wants you to, they may love and respect you more, but that is exactly the opposite of what happens.

The more you try to please others, the more they will demand of you to show some sort of appreciation. Through that, you will feel more invisible each day, as if your only role in life is to be good to the people you are pleasing.

Why do I feel invisible? (+5 coping tips)

Maybe you have let go of yourself 

Sometimes we may be going through certain things in our life that make us just want to completely check out of it. It can be that you are in pain over something that you have been through, or even that you are dealing with a mental illness like depression.

All of that can often make you feel like you are just living the same day over and over again. You get the bus, go to work, come back home, and go to sleep. Nothing that deeply moves you, or brings you joy is going on. 

As you walk through the street you feel completely invisible, and even in your relationships, you can sometimes feel like it would be completely okay if you were not there.

This all may come to show that you are feeling invisible because you have checked out of your life, you have stopped trying to connect with the world around you, and don’t feel any passion or interest in the things you are doing. 

To not feel so invisible in this way you must find ways to check in back in your life. And there are many ways to do that. You can do it by creating a routine for yourself, and reconnecting to what made you feel joy in the first place. 

You are walking with people that are not good for you

The people we surround ourselves with can have an impact on how invisible we feel. If you only have friends that are self-involved, and that are always talking about themselves or gossiping about others, it may feel like you are completely invisible.

They may not ask a single question about how you are feeling, or what has been going on in your life, adding to the feeling that you are not important, and that there is no one in your corner to support you. 

How can I cope with feeling invisible? 

Although feeling invisible is extremely painful, it is important to keep in mind that there is a way out of it. Here is what you can do.

Set boundaries in your relationships 

To stop feeling invisible, you must work towards setting boundaries in your relationships. Stop doing things for the benefit of others, and focus more on attending to your needs, and feelings. Aside from that, a great way to set boundaries is by telling the people in your life how their actions are making you feel.

At first, when you begin to set boundaries people may not understand it. But even if it doesn’t make sense to them, be sure that fighting for yourself may be one of the most positive things you have ever done in your life.

Be more assertive when you talk to people 

An important way to not feel invisible is by making sure you are assertive when you talk to people. This doesn’t mean that you should be aggressive, but rather that you make yourself heard and seen by the people around you.

This will make sure that the people that unintentionally weren’t listening to you start to work better on that. And it will also show you who are the people that are not willing to give you space and hear what you have to say. So you can decide how you want to maintain that relationship.

Learn more about your emotions

When you feel invisible because of past abusive relationships it can be that you never learned to deal with your emotions. This can make it incredibly difficult for you to express how you feel, or even validate what your needs are before you can express them to others.

So if that is the reason why you are feeling invisible, trying to learn how to assess your emotions, and accept them can go a long way. You can do that by writing your thoughts and feelings out, meditating, or even talking to a loved one.

Look for professional help

In some cases, especially when feeling invisible is connected to a mental health condition, it may be essential to look for professional help. Having a therapist will surely help you become more attuned with your emotions, understand why it is so difficult for you to validate them, and help you express yourself to others so you no longer feel invisible:

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): Why do I feel invisible? 

What is social invisibility?

Social invisibility talks about a group of people that are often ignored, or systematically out aside from society. It is often said that LGBTQ+ people can be socially invisible, as well as people that are minorities.

How can I stop thinking that I am unlovable?

If you want to stop feeling unlovable the most important thing to do is to focus on working on your self-esteem. When your self-esteem is low, you can often doubt yourself, and begin to believe that you don’t deserve to be loved, which will make you feel stuck in this pattern of thought that you are unlovable.

To recover your self-esteem it may be important for you to work on mindfulness, meditation, or even positive affirmations that will help you focus on yourself at the moment, and on identifying the positive things about yourself. You can also work on yourself through therapy. And with all that you may begin to discover that you are worthy of love.

Why do I hate my family?

You likely hate your family because of the past experiences you have had with them. Being neglected, dealing with situations of abuse, or even toxic relationship dynamics can make it easier for you to hate your family. And you shouldn’t feel guilty about that.

How can I tell if I am unwanted?

Some signs will show you that you are unwanted. First of all, you can feel like you are putting a lot more energy into the relationship than your partner, so it can feel like it is mostly one-sided. It is also possible that your partner doesn’t initiate anything intimate with you, and you begin to notice changes in your sex life.

Your partner has probably pulled back and is not interested in spending time with you. Even though social media can feel distant, they never listen to what you have to say. Finally, you have likely noticed that they are interested in other people.


This article explained what may be causing you to feel invisible. It also explained what you can do whenever you feel like that.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write them in the section below.