Why do guys stay in touch with their ex-girlfriends?

This article will explain what are the motives that cause guys to stay in touch with their ex-girlfriends. It will explain what goes on in their mind, and how they perceive their ex-girlfriends during this time.

Why do guys stay in touch with their ex-girlfriends? 

Ending a relationship is not always easy. And sometimes the former couple may have the idea of staying in touch even though the relationship has ended. When a guy decides to stay in touch with his ex-girlfriend, there may be some reasons why that is happening. Let’s discuss what they are.

They have become friends 

Sometimes a romantic relationship can end. But as that happened, the former couple realized that there is still a bond between them. And it is not a romantic one, but it is a friendship. 

They may not be the best of friends. But they feel that it is possible to be a part of each other’s lives in a new role. And they are open to giving friendship a try. There are a lot of exes that manage to stay friends. 

And although this takes a lot of communication and maturity, it may be something worth trying if they feel they need their ex-girlfriends in their lives.

They have common friends 

When a couple ends a relationship, chances are that through time they made new friends together, and even the old friends they had, from before the relationship, may have warmed up to their partner. 

So now it is common that they will run into each other at social events. And even though they may have set some boundaries, it is impossible to meet, and not exchange one word. So they might keep talking when those types of events happen.

They have joint matters they need to care for

When you are in a relationship with someone, you slowly start to build a life with them. When a guy stays in touch with their ex-girlfriend, there may be something related to that. They may have a kid together or buy real estate together.

So they need to stay in touch to discuss what they are doing, and what obligations each of them has towards this joint matter.

He is still in love 

In some cases, the guy may keep in touch with his ex-girlfriend for the simple reason that they are not over the ex-girlfriend. Staying in touch, or even being friends may be something they are willing to try to see if they can get their ex-girlfriend back.

Although it is not a sure thing, and a lot of heartaches can come from this situation, sometimes the guy just can’t make themselves walk away.

He may want a hookup

In other cases, the reason why a guy keeps in touch with his ex-girlfriend may not be so noble. He may know that the ex-girlfriend still is in love with them, or is still willing to have some casual fling. So they can keep in touch as a way to have someone if they ever want to hook up.

They may know that things work well in that department with the ex-girlfriend, so they can try to maintain this door open for a future need.

They remained close with each other’s family 

Another matter that causes the guy to be in touch with his ex-girlfriend is how close they became to each other’s family. In the same way as having common friends, when you are in a relationship with someone, you will often get close to their family.

And even though the relationship ends, that family has been a part of you for so long, that it is hard to just let go completely. So they will still be present, although slightly less often, in each other’s family life.

There is still an attraction there 

Aside from still being in love, a guy will stay in touch with their ex-girlfriend if there is still an attraction in that relationship. Men tend to be extremely visual creatures, so if they feel like their ex-girlfriends were one of the most attractive women, they may try to keep close to them.

They have the ex as a backup 

But in some cases, they will do it as a way to keep their ex-girlfriends as a backup plan. They may have started a new relationship, and even been in love with someone else. But since men usually like to have a backup in case things don’t go well, they may keep in touch with their ex-girlfriends to have them turn to, to not be alone, of the relationship they are in ends.

To make her jealous

If the breakup wasn’t too friendly, they may keep in touch with their ex-girlfriends as a way to make them jealous. The guy will most likely want to show them how his life is perfect, and what the ex-girlfriend is missing by not being with them. 

They are not careful with their ex-girlfriend’s need 

Other guys may stay in touch with their ex-girlfriends to maintain a pattern of abusive relationships. Their ex-girlfriends may have trouble letting go since sometimes it is hard for them to understand that they are part of a toxic relationship.

And without any consideration for the needs of their ex-girlfriend, they will keep in touch, in a manipulative way to make themselves feel good.

Thinks their ex-girlfriend owes them that 

In the case that the ex-girlfriend was the one that ended the relationship, the guys can play the role of the victim and want to keep in touch because they feel that their ex-girlfriend owes them that much.

In those cases, the ex-girlfriend may have trouble setting boundaries because they feel guilty about the pain they caused the guy. So they will likely surrender, and be in touch with them.

He feels nostalgic 

It is not just nostalgia that causes the guy to keep in touch with his ex-girlfriend. They can be anxious, or even depressed because of the breakup. And since they are so vulnerable at the moment, the ex-girlfriend may feel like they should be supportive, so they will keep close.

There is a matter with attachment 

In some cases, a former couple may keep in touch because they have trouble with attachment. This means that it can be hard, for one of them, or sometimes even for both of them to let go of the other.

They may notice that it is not that they even have that much to talk about anymore, but just that it seems impossible to live a life without that former partner in it.

To know what is happening in each other’s life

Similar to the problem with attachment, sometimes the guy will keep in touch with his ex-girlfriend because they feel like they need to know what is happening in their ex-girlfriend’s life.

They may have no interest at all in knowing if their ex-girlfriend is seeing someone new. But at the same time, the guy can feel that they need to know if there is someone. The guy can even keep in touch to know how the ex-girlfriend is doing at work, or even how her vacation went.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): Why do guys stay in touch with their ex-girlfriends? 

What are signs my partner misses their ex?

If you are in a relationship with someone, and you think they are missing their ex, know that when this is happening they will begin to mention them all the time, or even begin to compare the two of you. If you have been going out, and they are saying they are not ready for a new relationship, it can also be a sign they are missing their ex.

If you bring the topic of their ex to the discussion, and you feel they become angry as you do so, it may be a sign as well. Along with making the ex a priority over you, and wanting to hang out with them all the time. If you feel they are still harboring rage about that former relationship, it may also be a sign that they are not over it at all.

What should I do if my boyfriend is still in touch with his ex?

If you feel like your boyfriend is in touch with their ex is not something you are comfortable with, it may be important for the two of you to work on your communication, and tell them how you feel. 

If you decide to do so, let them know how this behavior is hurting, and how it leads you to think things through. It may be a good idea to also ask him what his goal is with maintaining contact with his ex, so you can better understand what is happening.

If they tell you it is just a friendship, let them know that you need some more clarity so you can adjust to that idea. But if he tells you there are still some feelings from his side, or if you realize that this is what is happening, it is the time for you to figure out what you want. 

You need to decide if it is okay for you to be with someone that is not entirely in your relationship, but rather waiting and hoping for someone to come back.

Do guys get over their girlfriends?

While women process their emotions right after the relationship ends, and take the time to deal with the grief, men will process their emotions differently. They will hardly give them time to grieve the relationship, and will just move on.

This can cause men to have trouble letting go of the relationship in the future, since after a while they can come to regret the breakup, and their ex may have moved on. This can make it harder for them to get over the relationship in the long hall.

What do men think about their exes?

Research has shown that men and women will think differently about their exes. Men will most likely look back on the past and think of their exes fondly, which is usually not true for women, who will often look back at their exes through a more negative lens.

Is it safe to be friends with an ex?

Exes may be able to be friends. But the main rule for that is that everyone is clear that the two of you are friends because you don’t work well as a couple. So you are maintaining the other close from a different perspective.


This article explained the main reasons why guys will stay in touch with their girlfriends. It showed how they are feeling, and how they see their ex-girlfriends during this time.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write them in the section below.


Why Do Guys Stay In Touch With Ex-girlfriends?

Why do guys stay in touch with their ex-girlfriends

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