Why did your partner accuse you of cheating? 

Has your partner accused you of cheating? This can be a painful memory and can cause you to move further away from your partner. If you have experienced this, then it might require some extra care and effort. 

Sometimes these things also break a relationship. But it is important to keep in mind if you want to understand the cause and work on it or not. 

Here are a few topics that we will be discussing :

  • Why did your partner accuse you of cheating? 
  • How do you communicate after this? 
  • Where does your relationship go from here? 

Why did your partner accuse you of cheating? 

Your partner probably accused you of cheating for the following reasons :

  • They have trust issues 
  • They’ve been cheated on before 
  • They have been manipulated
  • They’re cheating on you 
  • They’re insecure 
  • They’re paranoid

They have trust issues 

It’s a possibility that your partner has had trust issues. They probably have this for various reasons, they’ve been cheated on, they’ve been backstabbed , they haven’t had good relationships all throughout life. 

It probably doesn’t even have to be a past relationship. It can just be trust issues because of dysfunctional or manipulative families. These families can cause you to keep your guards up and in the process not trust anyone you meet or have a relationship with. 

This is hurtful and if your partner has trust issues you don’t have to deal with it. However if you feel like it is something you’d like to help your partner through, then patience is your best friend. 

They’ve been cheated on before

Your partner has accused you of cheating probably because they’ve been repeatedly cheated on in the past as well. This can cause them to see all things in the same light.

It also depends on how impactful the past relationship has been on them. They probably haven’t healed from it, didn’t get any closure and require a lot of assurance. 

Most of the time this leads to them questioning themselves and also the relationships they are in. They tend to turn suspicious towards everything around them. 

They’ve been manipulated

This is rare , however it is definitely possible. Sometimes people can get in the way of your relationship. They might have manupilated your partner into feeling like you’re cheating on them. 

They might have also been pushed towards thinking that it’s a bad idea to fully trust your partners. If they have friends who have been cheated on, this could be the common theme of any conversation. 

Once a person starts listening to such conversations it’s very natural for them to start thinking the same way as well. In such situations, just a day out with your partner and alot of open- ended conversations will definitely help.

They’re cheating on you 

There is a common defence mechanism called projection which most people use when they are guilty or they have a quality they’re trying to run away from. 

This can be seen especially in people with a narcissistic personality. They tend to throw their insecurities and shortcomings on their partners so that they don’t have to face it. 

This is a defence mechanism and it isn’t something all people do intentionally. They probably need time to admit to this, but if you have enough reason to believe this, you can confront them. 

They’re insecure 

Your partner could be feeling insecure about their own shortcomings. This usually happens when they have a low self-esteem or self-worth. They might have a damaged idea of self due to past events and life situations. 

It can be difficult for your partner if they have been feeling insecure in the relationship. This is also your responsibility as you are a part of that same relationship. 

Insecurities are bound to exist if you haven’t been giving your partner time and attention. If you’ve been slacking and not putting in the effort your relationship needs. 

They’re paranoid

Some people tend to have a paranoid personality. They might be too controlling which then leads them to be paranoid about people or situations that they cannot control. 

This usually can destroy relationships completely. Trust is one of the foundations of a healthy relationship and if your partner has been constantly paranoid then it is going to result in a shaky relationship. 

How do you communicate after this? 

Once you’ve been accused in this way, it’s natural to feel anger and frustration. And this is something you are definitely going to feel. In which case it can become extremely difficult to think straight and find a way to communicate. 

Firstly, you’d have to understand the reason why your partner has accused you. After your partner has accused you of cheating there is no point in dragging the conversation. It can only get worse. 

Take some time off , even a few days and revisit the topic when you are in a mental state to do so. Ask your partner why they think so, and if they have any proof or reason to think so. Try not to sound like you’re interrogating them. 

Secondly, once you know the reason it’ll be easy to understand how to go about it. If it’s something that your partner needs to work on, alone, then try to encourage them to go for therapy. Remind them that you are there for their support. 

In case they are feeling insecure in the relationship, then you’d have to actively work on this. 

But you also have the option of leaving the relationship if this is not something you want to deal with. However, make sure to be open and give them the right reasons.

Where does your relationship go from here? 

Your relationship will now take the turn you choose. Remember that you always have the option to move and choose something that isn’t so chaotic. 

These relationships can very soon get toxic or manipulative if you stay in them for long. Your partner might be using the victim card often if they notice that, this is something that gives them attention. 

You can also choose to go for couples therapy. Most people don’t think of doing this as they feel ashamed to do so. But couples therapy is great if the communication has gotten accusative and toxic. A counsellor can be the mediator and help you get through your differences. 


If your partner has accused you of cheating, it can cause you pain and alot of frustration. But it’s important to work through these emotions in order to resolve the issue at hand and help your relationship. You need to be able to do all of this while being able to be true to yourself and your values. This can be tricky and might need a lot of time and effort and in some cases counselling. 

If you have any questions or queries please drop them in the comment section below. 

FAQs- My partner accused me of cheating

What to do if your partner accuses you of cheating?

If your partner accuses you of cheating, then you should probably wait for them to calm down and then talk to them and ask them why they thought that you were being unfaithful. They might have a multitude of reasons but it’s important to work through them and resolve any kind of misunderstandings. 

Why does my partner keep accusing me of cheating? 

Your partner accuses you of cheating probably because of the past relationships  that have caused insecurities and fear in your partner. This probably makes your partner feel unsafe and insecure in the relationship. 

What to say when you’re accused of cheating? 

You could possibly say, ” I understand that you think I’m having an affair, I want to let you know that I’m not having an affair and I want to reassure you regarding this. I think you feel so because it has been distant lately and this is affecting you. “

How do cheaters act when confronted?

When cheaters are confronted they usually act shocked and then mostly let you know that they don’t know why they did it. They don’t find reasons to justify their infidelity, mostly they’re shocked. They in fact try to act shocked by their own behaviour. 

Why do I get accused of cheating? 

You’re probably getting accused of cheating because your partner is protecting their insecurities onto you. It’s most due to trust issues and maybe even misunderstandings. They may even be possessive and have certain controlling traits. Mostly they are cheating and feeling guilty.