Why did my partner ask for space?

Has your partner asked for space recently? This can bring you mixed feelings and emotions. You might tend to wonder about what probably caused them to feel like they needed space. Has something been bothering them? Are they upset with you regarding something you said or did? All these questions could be coming to you and yet you have no answers. 

In this article we will be understanding the reason behind why your partner needs space, how you can communicate while giving them their space and so on. 

The topics we will be going over are : 

  • Why did my partner ask for space? 
  • How do I work with this situation? 
  • Setting boundaries

Why did my partner ask for space?

Your partner could have asked for space because of the following reasons:

  • They have a lot on their mind
  • Their boundaries have been crossed
  • They have unresolved issues 
  • They need a break 

They have a lot on their mind

Your partner could have a lot that’s one their mind. This might sound vague and this could annoy you, but it’s better than speculating about what could be on their mind.  If there has been a lot of stress at work and at home, this could result in feeling overwhelmed. 

It doesn’t have to necessarily be related to you and your relationship. There could be many other factors involved. However, your relationship with your partner is the one that’s closest to them. In the sense that, they probably feel like you’d understand and this is the only part of their life they could take a step back from at the moment. 

It can take a lot of maturity to look at this without feeling like your relationship isn’t as important for them. However, another way to look at this is that your relationship requires extra care and concern, and right now they aren’t able to give it their undivided attention. This might not be true, but if this is a relationship that you’d like to work in, then you need to trust your partner regarding the same. 

Give them the space they have asked for. Let them know that you’re listening to them and you can hear them out. Allow them to speak to you at their own pace and time. It’s important to support your partner at this stage even though you would like to talk and sort things out. 

Pushing them to do so might make things worse. It wouldn’t exactly work out as you plan. So give your partner the time to relax and take their space. If you’d like, ask them how they’d like you to help during this time. When you could maybe have a conversation about this, and follow that. 

Their boundaries have been crossed

Take a look back , or introspect on your relationship. Has your partner had fixed boundaries? Is there something that they’re very particular about? 

Everyone has to have boundaries in their life. And these boundaries need to exist for all the people in their life as well. Some of these boundaries might be too harsh, they might seem unnecessary to you, and you might be true as well. However, you need to remember that this is your partner’s life, and it’s their decision. Even if these boundaries are hampering their relationship with you, or someone else, this is something they need to realise and repair. 

You can only guide them in this journey, you can provide insight and point out that this might not be healthy for them. At the end of the day the final call is theirs to make. 

It could be possible that you’ve crossed one such boundary. Maybe your partner doesn’t know how to communicate this to you. It could be puzzling in their mind and that’s why they need space. They might also be shaken by the fact that one of their boundaries have been crossed, once this happens it takes time to garner your thoughts and understand the reason behind this.

So let them settle down first, gather their own thoughts and understand how to communicate these to you effectively. It’s probably for the best to give them space at this moment. 

They have unresolved issues

There are probably certain things from the past that are affecting them at this point. These memories can be from a past relationship, or from your relationship itself but something that happened a while back. 

When issues remain unresolved , it presents itself at different times due to various triggers. There is always an opportunity to trigger these issues and that leads to a fight or argument because they haven’t been solved. 

In which case they become vulnerabilities of the relationship. If your partner also has certain unresolved issues, it’s natural for them to probably feel bottled up at certain times. They might not even understand that this is happening due to their unresolved issues. 

It tends to get claustrophobic after a point and this could overwhelm anybody. 

They need a break 

With all that’s been said above, it could just mean that your partner needs some break from all aspects of life including your relationship. 

They probably don’t want to use the term break as this might cause a fight or argument, or unpleasant conversation. And so they’ve asked you for some space. It’s important to respect their needs and stay away for a while. The more you push them, the more they will either push back, or completely close themselves off. 

How to work around this situation? 

The best way to work around this situation would be to understand your partner and their needs and requirements firstly. The best way to do this would be to openly communicate with them about the way they feel. 

Start by understanding if they’d like to tell you about what’s going on with them. If they say not for now, then let them know that you are there to help them through this time. You would like to help them with the situation and be there for them. 

They might let you know how you can support them in this situation. Let them speak about the way they’re feeling, if they don’t want to speak about the reason they’re asking for a break. This can help you understand their situation better and it could also give you some reassurance as well. 

Setting boundaries

It’s very important to understand that boundaries are required in all aspects of our lives. They are in place not to keep people out, but to for your own mental peace and happiness. 

Without boundaries we might all feel obligated, overwhelmed and unhappy. This happens because we aren’t standing up for our values and needs and more over we aren’t letting people know that as well. 

In turn , people might tend to invade our personal space, physically, emotionally or even mentally. They would tend to affect your mental health and it could cause you to feel low on most days as well.  The idea being that at the end of the day, your happiness actually is your responsibility. And that’s why it’s important to look out for yourself.

Conclusion

When your partner asks for space, respect their needs and priorities. At the end of the day you’ll are both individuals in a relationship. As much you look at yourself as a team, you still need to focus on your own selves and make sure that both of you are happy. If this doesn’t happen it will definitely affect the relationship in a detrimental manner. 

FAQs- my partner asked for space

Is asking for space in a relationship healthy ?

Yes, asking for space in a relationship can be healthy. A little bit of space never hurt anyone and it can do good for the relationship as well. 

Is needing space normal in a relationship?

Yes, needing space is completely normal in a relationship.  Sometimes an introverted person or just an individual who needs time to be alone might ask for space and that’s completely okay. 

How much time do you give someone who needs space? 

When someone needs space you give them as much time as they need instead of forcing them to take only a specific amount of time. 

How long is space in a relationship? 

Space in a relationship can ve anything from a week to a month as well. It depends on the people involved in the relationship and also the reason behind why space is needed. 

Does giving space in a relationship work? 

Yes, giving space in a relationship definitely can work. It all depends on the way both individuals handle the situation and move forward. It takes time and effort to make this kind if a relationship to work.

References 

https://www.bustle.com/wellness/how-to-give-your-partner-more-space-without-losing-them-according-to-experts

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