Why am I such a lser? 7 Tips to not feel like a loser
As a BetterHelp affiliate, we may receive compensation from BetterHelp if you purchase products or services through the links provided.
Author bio
The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter. The article then gets reviewed by a more senior editorial member. This is someone with extensive knowledge of the subject matter and highly cited published material.
If you are looking for a motivational and inspiring article on how to stop feeling like a loser and start living your best life, keep reading.
“Why am I such a loser?” – Why do we feel like this?
“I am a loser, I can’t do anything, I am good for nothing”
Have you ever felt that way?
Have you felt that you would like to do something new, start a business, change your job or just make your life better, but you feel that you are not good enough?
That you are a loser?
The only thing that gives you the right to feel like a loser is a fact that you have given up the struggle with the hardships of life and indulge in the situation you are in now.
Maybe you don’t have enough money, maybe you don’t have the job you want, maybe you don’t have the same new car as your neighbour and you feel missed, but I want to tell you something: you have a very valuable resource that you do not value .. time.
As long as you haven’t given up the fight, as long as you’re still doing something for what you want, you can’t be said to have failed.
“There are no unrealistic goals, only unrealistic deadlines.” – Brian Tracy
If, however, you gave up the fight then yes, you can consider yourself a loser, no one will ever come to do something for you.
You are solely responsible for what happens to you.
It is indeed more convenient to stay in the house and do nothing, to waste time on TV, to sit in your comfort zone. Let me tell you something, tho.
It feels nice only for now, in a very short period of time you will be so bored of your comfort zone that you will start to get frustrated and even if you’ll want to do something you will not see any way to change your life because you are already indulging in the situation where you have knowingly arrived.
You will start blaming everyone around you for your failures, you will start lying even to yourself, you will not admit that you are there because of you.
Whose fault is it?
Truth is, it’s too painful to accept your own guilt.
Maybe you have been discouraged by people close to you, told not to dream too far, to stay where you belong, not to have dreams so as not to have disappointments.
The thing is, no one tells you these things out of evil, they honestly would like you to succeed only if they don’t want to see you get disappointed and hurt.
Your loved ones cut off your wings out of concern for you, not to suffer.
In fact, they should be the ones to make us dream beyond the impossible, they are the only people we want to impress and whose opinions matter, but unfortunately often times they are the ones who do not let us take our flight in the first place.
You have so much strength inside you that you don’t even realize … and you know this very well because you know your thoughts, you feel it in your soul, you feel it with your whole being.
Think about where you would be now if you had the courage to put into practice all the creative thoughts you had.
The fear of embarrassment keeps you away from success, the fear of not disappointing your loved ones, the fear of failing because you know for sure that people will say “I told you so”.
Instead of feeling like a loser, one should follow the idea of escapism.
What can you do about it?
To get where you want in life, you first have to realize that you will make mistakes and that is perfectly fine.
You have to look at mistakes positively, as they are life lessons. You should not be afraid to make mistakes, this is the only way you can climb the mountain of success.
We never learn from the mistakes of others, this is just a myth, we learn the mistake best on our own skin because we have to hurt to understand the pain.
When you are full, you do not deeply understand how a hungry man feels.
Your chance is out there, you just have to get to it. Your money is there in an account waiting for you, you just have to find your way to them.
The life you dream of is in front of you, nothing can stop you from getting where you want if you don’t give up.
Failure will show only when you give up. As long as you do not give up, it cannot be said that you lost because the match is not over.
Be different from the rest of the people and you will have a different future, work harder than the rest of the people and you will reach the top.
No one can stop you from becoming who you want to be. You are the only one who can get in the way.
Learn to close your eyes and shut your ears so that you do not hear the opinions of others and let them bring you down.
They don’t think you can do it because so far you haven’t shown them that you can.
It’s time to show what you can really do.
You know that you have potential, you know that you can do anything, but you also are a loser in front of laziness.
You feel that this is a big flaw of yours, you realize it but it is very difficult for you to fight laziness because you have become accustomed to your comfort zone.
Now that you know that, it is your duty to look for your daily dose of motivation.
Surely you remember how much power you had.
You were motivated when you felt that nothing could stop you and you were so excited that you could not imagine how not to succeed.
But the great enemy appeared in front of you: “the next day” in which you did not see things with the eyes of yesterday, you did not have as much confidence in
yourself and you wondered what has changed from yesterday to today.
Your sense of confidence and enthusiasm has disappeared, and they are the essential things to succeed in life.
It is imperative that you find your own way to encourage yourself, to get excited and take action.
Otherwise, you will become a frustrated man, always sad, who will spread around him only a bad mood and in the shortest time you will wake up alone, without friends, with a body that you have abandoned and that will begin to rust, with a family that can no longer support you.
Start living!
Write on a piece of paper the actions you need to do daily to get out of the situation you are in and make sure to do them for at least a week.
You will see how your life changes from day to day, you will realize that everything that happens to you in life, good or bad, is entirely up to you.
7+ Tips to stop feeling like a loser
- Write down WHY you think you’re not good enough, that you are a loser. Then take the list and argue why this is not the case. Suppose one of the reasons you think you are not good enough to start a business is that you do not work well in the morning. You can’t wake up at 5 and be super productive until 8. Guess what? 50% of the people are the same. And there are many examples of successful people who do not wake up at 5 AM.
- Stop comparing yourself with others. The only person you are in competition with is yourself, the one from yesterday, compared to YOU, the one today. There will always be people who are more beautiful, smarter, healthier, younger or happier than you. But that doesn’t mean you’re a failure. There will always be people who are less beautiful, more rude or unhappy than you. It’s a two-sided coin.
- Stop generalizing. If you are not good at something, it does not mean that you are not good at anything. Albert Einstein said, “Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life thinking it’s stupid.”
- Forgive. First of all, forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for not being the one for that job or for making that bad business decision. Then forgive the others. Those who have been evil with you. Keeping hatred and regretting of the past makes you its prisoner. Get rid of negative feelings to make room for positive ones.
- Get rid of toxic people. Keep by your side people who support you and get rid of those who pull you down. Whether they do it through actions or just through their negative energy.
- Write down what you are good at. Put perfectionism aside and appreciate yourself sincerely. If you know so many things you are not good at (see point 1), you then can find the things that you are good at. Write them on a piece of paper. See how good you are at what? Now you can’t say you’re not good at anything.
- Make mistakes. It’s okay to be wrong. You learn important lessons from this. Don’t judge yourself too harshly. It doesn’t matter how you fall, it matters how you get up.
- Love yourself more. Treat yourself the way you would like to be treated by others. Take care of yourself, eat and live healthy. You deserve it.
Conclusions
I hope this article paves the way for you to regain your self-confidence.
If you do not have problems with self-esteem, I hope it makes you appreciate yourself more.
In any case, I want to make your day better than it was yesterday.
I would be happy if you would give me a few moments of your time to give me feedback. How did you like the article?
What did you learn about yourself?
Let me know in the comments section below.
FAQ on Why am I such a loser
What makes you a loser?
People believe that what makes a person a loser is their general negative attitude toward life.
These people have a negative mindset, do not see anything good in their lives and usually have no motivation to do anything.
How do I know if I’m a loser?
You know you are a loser if you definitely feel like one.
Is your mood generally dominated by chronic pessimism, unwillingness to do anything for yourself, a lack of motivation and lack of self-esteem?
What to say when someone says they are a loser?
When someone says they are a loser you can ask them what they mean by that.
After hearing their explanation you can assure them that they are doing their best.
If they need help to increase their self-esteem or motivation, you can search together what is the best way for him/her to do that.
Further reading
- The Formula for Success: How to Win at Life Using Your Own Personal Algorithm
- How to Win at Life: Harrison Morrison
- How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life
- Psychology of Champions: How to Win at Sports and Life with the Focus Edge of Super-athletes
- GQ How to Win at Life: The expert guide to excelling at everything you do
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
Take Control of Your Mental Health and Live Your Best Life with BetterHelp Online Therapy
