When we start a relationship, our mind is invaded by overwhelming feelings, butterflies in the stomach and strong emotions towards the special person next to us.
We wake up in love, the whole world is ours and nothing around seems to matter anymore.
Slowly, slowly, the relationship progresses, and you face the classic dilemma: should I be the first to tell “I love you” or should I wait?
In this article, we discussed when it’s appropriate to say I love you in a new relationship.
When to say I love you in a new relationship?
At the beginning of each relationship, one of the most common concerns of partners is to decide when to say “I love you” to the loved one.
Of course, this should only be done when you really feel that you have strong feelings for the person next to you.
It’s not just about time, it’s about the emotions you face.
Unfortunately, there is no right answer to the question “When do you say I love you?” as it depends on the person, the emotional availability of the partner and how prepared both of you are to start a serious relationship.
But we have good news! Here are some helpful tips for choosing the best time to say “I love you!”
First, answer some questions
First, make sure what you feel is real. That it is really love. So sit down and answer the following questions honestly:
- Do you have butterflies in your stomach every time you see him/her or think about your partner?
- Do you really miss your partner if you don’t see them for a day or two?
- Do you feel those strong feelings in their absence or only when he/she is around you?
If you answer yes to these questions, then you can say that you are about to develop really strong and lasting feelings for your partner.
Timing is important
Then, the next factor you need to consider is TIME. If you’ve been dating for a few weeks, then most likely what you’re feeling are just emotions, not love.
But, if your skin tingles when you see him/her, you feel good in his/her company and it is the last thing you think about before bed, there are big chances that these feelings will only increase in intensity.
As a general rule, only after 3-4 months you can realize if you love the character of the man/woman you are in love with, if your feelings have not changed over time and if the relationship promises to bring you happiness for a long time to come.
Of course, each relationship is different, and if you really feel that it is love at first sight and every time you see your partner your heart goes completely crazy, you can do it.
But even if you feel that you are in love, it is best to wait and not rush things. Love needs time.
Wait three months and if your feelings are still unchanged, it’s definitely chemistry between you, butterflies in your stomach and all the other fireworks.
Make sure you no longer think only of yourself, but of “us”
Suppose the relationship seems to be lasting. At that moment, your world changes and somehow revolves around the person next to you.
You are more comfortable, you easily give up pride and you are not afraid to share your fears, needs and desires.
The moment you start constantly thinking about your partner, but especially when you start appreciating him/her because they are NOT perfect – it’s the time you are ready.
Wait until you don’t care if they answers you the same way
One of the most critical aspects of when you say “I love you” to your partner is when you don’t expect anything in return.
You just want to feel good about sharing your feelings, even if the other side is not there yet.
It’s a little selfish to think that two people can experience the same feelings, in the same way, so don’t force your partner to answer just because it makes you feel better.
In a relationship you will be prepared for certain things at a different time: the first kiss, the first evening spent together, moving in together.
Moreover, with time and with age, love will be perceived differently.
While you’re trying to ask yourself whether you love the person you are spending time with or not, you can use alternative responses to I love you.
The first step
Now that you know your feelings and can tell the difference between infatuation and love, how do you express your feelings?
It is best to test the ground before taking this major step in your relationship.
Seek to see if he/she loves you too by the way they look at you, the way they treat you or the way they offer you their time.
If your partner gives clear signs that he/she is interested in you and wants to be a part of your life, then the feeling is mutual.
Don’t be afraid if your partner doesn’t respond to your feelings immediately.
Over time, as the relationship evolves, so will feelings. A sincere “I love you” is worth all this waiting.
You should also be aware of what to do when meeting someone for the first time after texting.
What does it really mean when you say “I love you”?
“I love you” is not just a simple cliché that we say when we are happy, but it has such great power that it activates the entire neurological system in our brain and generates a euphoric state throughout the body.
Love is, in fact, the strongest emotion – measured by researchers – that our body can manifest, but it does not come from the mind, as it is only coordinated by the mind.
It produces in us a force so great that all five physical senses increase in intensity.
The taste is different, the touches more intense, the eyes more awake and alert, the hearing more calibrated and the smell finer.
Studies show that the processes of memorization, remembrance and innovation during a love relationship become much easier and open new opportunities in life.
Moreover, the specialist considers that love is the only state that leads man to observe what powers he actually has, but our thoughts, habits and even prejudices prevent us from living it intensely and in the long run.
The first “I love you” means approving feelings. “I love you,” said during a long relationship, means confirmation of the first “I love you.”
The exponent or symbol of the feeling of love, in all our social convention, is the expression “I love you”, and its implications have far exceeded its initial boundaries.
Love stories, in the beginning, are governed by passionate love, which activates a large amount of oxytocin – the hormone of happiness and attachment, and the first “I love you” we say to our loved one, will be perceived mentally as approval and acceptance of feelings.
“I love you” will transcend man from a physical state to a purely spiritual one.
The more the repetition of the words “I love you” will be confirmed to each other, the more man will be restored to the initial, strong and transcendental state he had at the first hearing of these words.
If you want to express your feelings for someone you love, tell them about the reasons why you love them.
When it is not okay to say “I love you” for the first time?
You don’t have to verbally express your love for your partner in certain situations, even if you feel like you can’t help it.
It is a totally inappropriate time to tell them that you love them when you are extremely euphoric because you had a few drinks.
If you say “I love you” in these moments, your partner will wonder if the alcohol speaks for you.
And I don’t think this is something you want to be misinterpreted even if you took a few glasses just to have the courage to tell them that.
Another inappropriate time to say these magic words is after an extraordinary sex game.
Your partner will wonder if you told them that only because he/she satisfies you sexually.
That doesn’t mean you can’t tell your partner how good he/she was in bed, but leave the fiery declarations of love for another time.
Don’t forget that you shouldn’t say “I love you” for the first time by phone, email or any other means of communication.
The two words can only be said face to face. Look into your partner’s eyes and tell them how you really feel.
Side Note: I have tried and tested various products and services to help with my anxiety and depression. See my top recommendations here, as well as a full list of all products and services our team has tested for various mental health conditions and general wellness
In this article, we discussed when it’s appropriate to say I love you in a new relationship.
The most important thing to remember is that each relationship is unique, and although there are certain general rules one must follow, in the end, it only depends on you and how real your feelings are.
I hope these recommendations will help you decide whether the time has come or you still would rather wait.
Please feel free to leave any comment on the content or to ask any question you may have about the right time to say “I love you.”
FAQ about When to say I love you
How soon is too soon to say I love you?
How soon is too soon to say I love you, depends on each couple and person.
Some people believe that saying I love you in the first week or so, would be categorized as “too soon”.
For others, even some months is not enough to know if you really love someone else.
How long does it take a man to say I love you?
On average, according to the studies, it takes a man 88 days to say I love you.
Now, this is just an average number, as some may say it sooner, some later (or never)!
Should I wait for him to say I love you first?
If you should wait for him to say I love you first, it’s a decision only you may take, as the answer would be it depends.
It depends on how serious and long your relationship is, on how you think this will improve your relationship.
Some believe that it is best that the man is the first to say I love you.
Others say that we live a very short life, what’s the worst that can happen? Only you know…
What can I say instead of I Love You?
Here are some things you can say instead of “I Love You”
– You are worth the risk
– For you, I will wait
– You got me crazy over you
– You are the best partner in the entire world
– I feel like we are soul mates
– I really appreciate you being in my life.
How do I know if I’m in love?
You know you are in love when the person you are in love with occupies most of the space in your mind. You think and dream about them almost all the time.
You care about their wellbeing, you get excited when you have to meet them, and you enjoy their company even if you aren’t doing anything special.
What is the most romantic saying?
I think one of the most romantic sayings has to come from Elvis Presley:
“Take my hand, take my whole life too.
For I can’t help falling in love with you.” – Can’t Help Falling in Love, Elvis Presley
What we recommend for Relationship & LGBTQ issues
- If you are having relationship issues or maybe you are in an abusive relationship then relationship counselling could be your first point of call. Relationship counselling could be undertaken by just you, it does not require more than one person.
If you are dealing with LGBTQ issues then LGBTQ counselling may be a great option for you. Maybe you are confused as to your role and identity or simply need someone to speak to. LGBTQ counsellors are specially trained to assist you in this regard.
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