When does the dumper start missing the dumpee

In this blog we will answer the question “When does the dumper start missing the dumpee?”

We will also briefly discuss some of the factors that make the dumper miss the dumpee and the various signs that could signify that the dumper is missing the dumpee. 

When does the dumper start missing the dumpee?

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The time it takes for a dumper to miss the dumpee depends on various factors and it can differ from person to person. However on average it will take at least a few weeks to a month for the dumper to start missing the dumpee. 

According to Ahiri Chakraborty for Relationship Sort Out, notes that for a long term relationship, the dumper might start missing the dumpee after a week or so while for a more casual or new relationship, the dumper might take more time to start missing the dumpee- around a month or so. 

Whereas the writers at The Attraction Game, note that the dumper will most probably start missing the dumpee after a month.

The break up of a relationship is different for a dumper versus the dumpee however, it does not mean that the dumper is unaffected. While it might appear that the dumper is faring well after the break up, it is generally the case that the dumper takes a little more time to grieve the relationship post a break up. 

They do eventually begin to miss their partners as they begin to grieve the loss however, unlike the dumpee, the dumper often feels like they are not allowed to grieve the relationship since they are the ones who instigated the break up.

This can cause a delay in the whole process of grieving the relationship and the loss of the dreams and hopes that the couple had. 

The time it takes for the dumper to miss the dumpee can also be affected by various factors such as length of the relationship, the commitment and intimacy of the couple, the cause of the break up and the aftermath of the break up.

For example, the dumper of a long term relationship might be quick in missing the dumpee while for a more casual relationship, they might take longer. 

On the other hand if the break up was long overdue and there was a definite cause of the break up, it might take longer for the dumper to miss the dumpee and it usually happens after all their feelings have been worked through.

For the dumper, the part where they miss their exes often occur after the elation of being single and free has settled down and it is often the case that they miss their partners most when they are having a hard time adjusting to their new singledom. 

They might miss the comfort that was provided by their partner and in some cases, they might miss the relationship and the hopes and dreams of the realtionship more than the dumpee. 

What makes the dumper miss the dumpee?

Some of the factors that makes the dumper miss the dumpee includes the following:

Radio silence from the dumpee

The first possible reason as to what makes the dumper miss the dumpee is when the dumpee chooses not to contact or bargain with the dumper and seemingly move on after the break up. 

Here, the dumper might become curious as to what their ex is doing and how they are doing after the break up. The dumper might also call the dumpee to check on how the dumpee is doing- whether they have moved on and how they are faring in a life without the dumper. 

While it might be odd considering that they are the one who broke up with their partner, it is a natural reaction to their curiosity. This checking in often occurs when they miss their partner and when they discern that the past was better than their present.

It might arise because they feel regret about their choices, they feel lonely, or because of the guilt they feel. They call because they want to know how quickly you moved on, and if you have moved on then who have you moved on with.

They face rejection

It is often the case that when the dumper experiences rejection from other people, other opportunities that they set out to pursue, they might reel back from the challenge of rejection and as a way to seek out comfort they might go back to what is familiar- their ex partners. 

After the break up, the dumper might have a hard time adjusting to their singlehood and as a result they might choose to seek out their ex because they miss the comfort and support that they had when they were with their ex. 

They feel lonely

It is possible that the dumper misses the dumpee when they start feeling lonely and want to fills the void that has been left as a result of your break up and while one might be able to deal with boredom by doing something new, it is possible that your ex is having a hard time dealing with the loneliness they feel. 

Loneliness is a deep emotion and experience that cannot be simply brushed aside and after one loses a partner, the change in situation is drastic. 

It is very likely that your ex has noticed that there is a huge gap that is present now that was once filled with you and moments shared with you and this can lead them to feel lonely. 

Just because the dumper has started a new life does not mean that they are adapting well to the new life and new people, the struggle of connecting with others could add to their loneliness because of which they might choose to fall back on the dumpee because of the past that is shared

Personal growth

Another reason as to why a dumper might miss their ex is because of emotional maturity when the dumper realises that they have been extremely impulsive in their decisions to break up with their partner. 

They might begin to realise that there were certain aspects of their dissatisfaction in the relationship that could have been worked at and this could cause a lot of regrets and guilt along with the longing to be with their exes again. 

At this point, the dumper might miss the dumpee and seek to initiate some form of contact with their ex as a way to make amends or as a way to rebuild their relationship as well. 

Realisation

Another reason as to why the dumper starts to miss the dumpee could be because they have regrets about the break up.

After some time, maybe a month or two, after the initial shock of the break up has settled down and the changes they have made have become more evenly paced out, it is possible that the entire experience will hit them now. 

Depending on how you react and how they are adjusting to their new singlehood, there will be moments when the dumper will regret their decision or doubt their choice to break up. 

This often happens when they are having a hard time adjusting to a new life without you and at this stage they might begin to have doubts and regrets about their choices. 

They might try to convince you to get back together, give them a  second chance in working things out etc. 

What are the signs that the dumper misses the dumpee?

Some of the signs that indicate that the dumper misses the dumpee includes:

  • The dumper unblocks the dumpee from all channels of communication. This means unblocking their number, their social media platforms etc. this could be a sign that they are trying to open up the space to get in touch because they miss you. 
  • They start making subtle contact such as liking your recent pictures on social media, and keep checking in on your social media pages etc. 
  • They start asking about you to mutual friends and you hear about them from others as well as they begin to engage with your social circle more often now. 
  • They start wishing you for your birthday or for special events. They make an effort to engage and communicate with you in any way possible with various excuses.
  • They start showing up in familiar places like the coffee shop that you go to or at a mutual friend’s party which they used to avoid prior however now they start trying to make small talk with you.
  • They send in casual messages and texts or even take the leap of inviting you to luck or for coffee as a way to catch up etc. this could be their way of showing you that they miss you and are trying to make contact with you.

Conclusion

In this blog we have answered the question “When does the dumper start missing the dumpee?”

We have also briefly discussed some of the factors that make the dumper miss the dumpee and the various signs that could signify that the dumper is missing the dumpee. 

FAQ related to When does the dumper start missing the dumpee?

Does the dumper misses the dumpee?

Yes, the dumper does eventually miss the dumpee as well as the positive experiences of their past relationship. The break up of a relationship is different for a dumper versus the dumpee however, it does not mean that the dumper is unaffected. While it might appear that the dumper is faring well after the break up, it is generally the case that the dumper takes a little more time to grieve the relationship post a break up. 

Who moves on faster after a breakup?

According to various studies done, women tend to move on faster after a break up compared to men. While men might appear to be unaffected by the break up in most cases, this is because they often deny their feelings. 

It is after a few months to a year when they are able to confront their feelings leading to the grieving process taking longer than women who tend to grieve almost immediately after the break up which is why they are able to move on faster. 

What makes dumper’s regret the break up?

Depending on how you react and how they are adjusting to their new singlehood, there will be moments when the dumper will regret their decision or doubt their choice to break up. 

This often happens when they are having a hard time adjusting to a new life and new relationships. 

References

Ahiri Chakraborty. When Does The Dumper Start Missing The Dumpee? Relationship Sortout. Retrieved on 4th April 2022. https://relationshipsortout.com/when-does-the-dumper-start-missing-the-dumpee/

When Does The Dumper Start Missing The Dumpee? The Attraction Game. Retrieved on 4th April 2022. https://theattractiongame.com/when-does-the-dumper-start-missing-the-dumpee/

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