When a guy tells you about his friends (7 subtle hints)
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OptimistMinds
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Author bio
The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter. The article then gets reviewed by a more senior editorial member. This is someone with extensive knowledge of the subject matter and highly cited published material.
In this blog-post, we shall talk about what it means when a guy tells you about his friends. Your head must be muddled with thoughts like “Is there any that he is subtly indicating?”, “What kind of thoughts and emotions does he experience when he gets talking about his inner group of people?”, you have come to the right place to fetch answers!
What could it mean when a guy tells you about his friends?
Men, in general, disclose details about their life very selectively. They are cautious about developing emotionally-driven relationships with their romantic interests. And suddenly if you find him talking about his closest friends there are some hints you should definitely pick from his revelations.
It shows he is letting his guard down and losing his fear of intimacy and closeness
As mentioned above, most men can be secretive or private humans. When he tells you about his friends it shows that you have successfully managed to get past the hurdles he has placed in front of him against intimacy.
His current level of emotional intimacy capabilities highly drawn from the kind of emotional attachments he built up growing up with his parents and caregivers. If the child’s emotional needs were unmet or if his emotions were dismissed or invalidated as a child, there are high chances that he will fear opening up to people even as an adult. Men are often told to be strong and not let their emotions out explicitly right from childhood it can be a challenge for men to learn to emote in a healthier way when they grow up.
His friendships are an example of the basis of the bond he wishes to develop with you
For many people, it is important that their romantic partners/spouses be a trusted confidant and friend before and above the intimacy as lovers.
Even in the triangular theory of love, as given by psychologist Robert Sternberg, it is stated that companionship is one of the key features of a well-rounded consummate love. This means that developing a strong bond as friends first is ideal and also paves a healthier road in the journey of a lasting relationship.
It shows how he wishes to let you into his inner world of close people
When a guy is interested in you he will wish for you to know about who he truly is. A major part of a person’s life is his family and friends that shape their personality. Many values, habits, and opinions are picked up from friends too. There is a lot you can get to know about the guy from the friends he hangs out with and the depth of the relationship they share.
Notice if they are genuinely buddies who would show up for each other during good and bad times or are they only present for parties and celebrations or just people to hang out together with when they are plain bored.
When the friend’s group is close and tight, you can get to know that the guy you are involved with is not a self-centered person, is generous and helpful towards others, has healthy attachments, the level of peer influence on him, and what kind of influence is it. Does he pick up healthy opinions and habits from his friends or does he not? Can he filter out what opinions are against his values and beliefs and stick by his roots when he needs to?
It shows he would like you to meet his friends sometime
Once he has spoken about his friends to you, the next thought would be ‘how would it be if you met his friends and hung out with them?’. Guys surely do like having a partner to flaunt in front of their friends. But it might be difficult for him to judge if you are willing to meet his friends or if you share an equation so good that you can let each other in your personal lives. Talking about his friends is a sign from him, for you to know, that he is willing to introduce you to his group.
He considers you as someone worth introducing to his friends
He must surely notice some kind of maturity and comprehension abilities in you which make him tell himself that “okay, this person is probably different than the others and might be someone who can be trusted”. He probably even appreciates your approach towards developing a relationship with him. So signs are that whatever you are doing to charm him (hopefully, it is just being you!), it’s working!
It is an indication that he wishes to get to know you better too
When a guy talks about his friends it is a signal that he wishes to know more about your friends and other important relationships too. Just like there are things for you to notice about his friends and their attachment styles, he too will get better ideas about you when he meets and gets to know about your group.
It is a signal indicating, again, a wish for more intimacy and closeness.
The friends know about you too!
Assuming that his friends are at this point closer to him than you are to him, he must already have shared with his group about what you mean to him, even if it is as a fleeting mention. Guys may not talk at length about their romantic relationships with other guy friends but they do let them know what their status is and if they are happy to have found a suitable partner.
What should you as a potential lover or current lover do when he tells you about his friends?
It is not necessary for you to like your guy’s friends or genuinely wish to get to know them more. But if being a part of their social group resonates well with you try these following tips out.
Show interest
Pay attention to your body language. Make sure you nod your head, have a smile on your face when he is talking to you about his friends.
Ask questions
Ask questions about how he met his friends, how long have they known each other, some memories they have shared together. Ask if there are pictures or videos of his friends that he may like to show you and tell you their names and what they do, where they are, etc.
Suggest that you are open to meeting them sometime
It would be nice for him to know that you are keen on meeting his friends. But, if you are too worried if it is too soon to let him know that you would like to meet them or you do not want to seem too pushy or wish to take things slow, say things like “It seems like it would be fun to hang out with the group together.” or “It sure seems like a welcoming group of people.”
What to do if you do not appreciate the conversations about his friends
Communicate
Communicate why you do not feel his friends’ group involves people who you consider a good fit for you to mingle with. It could be that the values of the group do not match yours, the interests are not aligned, etc.
Break it up
For some people, being introduced to a huge group of people at once can be overwhelming. If you are shy and uncomfortable initiating conversations with his friends, ask your guy to meet people in small groups or one by one.
Simply change the course of the conversations
If you feel a big chunk of your conversations involves talking about others/his friends, tell him that as much as you like to know about his friends and their lives, you would also like to talk about him and his day.
Conclusion
In this blog-post, we talked about what it means when a guy tells you about his friends. We began by discussing the 7 hints that you can pick when your guy talks about his friends. We then discussed what you can do as a potential or current partner to seem interested in knowing about his friends. We also discussed what you can do if you do not wish to participate in conversations about his friends or find it overwhelming to be a part of a new group suddenly. Hope these tips are helpful!
Frequently Asked Questions: When a guy tells you about his friends
Do guys tell their friends about the girl they like?
Guys may be apprehensive and calculative about when to talk about you in front of their friends. Once he is more confident and serious about you, he surely will talk about you with his friends.
What does it mean when a guy introduces you to his friends?
Some common reasons could be he wishes you to be a part of his friend’s circle, he wants to know his friend’s opinions about you as a partner for him, he wishes to flaunt in front of his friends that he is involved in a relationship, or it could be nothing serious just a casual dining time with a mixed group of friends.
What are the signs that a guy likes you more than a friend?
Some obvious signs for you to pick are:
His body language changes when you are around him. He would be comfortable but yet willing to impress you which could make him a little jittery.
He likes spending time with you and shows eagerness to talk to you and meet you.
He introduces you to his family and friends.
He wishes to know more about you, your work, your ambitions, and life values/goals.
He tells you his deepest fears and secrets.
He enjoys your company and says it is fun to have you around.
In a group of people, he will be drawn to you and might stick around you.
He shows genuine care and concern when you are in trouble and shows double your happiness when you accomplish things.
What is the theory of love?
According to psychology, some necessary attributes to feel wholesome genuine love are:
A strong sense of liking or intimacy, some passion, and a sense of commitment. The absence of any one of these may be an indication that your love lacks an important component. The presence of intimacy and passion indicates it is passionate love, the presence of commitment and passion indicates it is fatuous love, and, the presence of commitment and liking indicates it is companionate love. For a consummate love, all three are key pillars. The triangular theory of love was given by Sternberg and is a widely accepted theory when it comes to relationship development and maintenance.
References
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangular_theory_of_love