What To Say To Someone Who Belittles You(A Step By Step Guide)

This article will explain how to handle situations where someone belittles you and points out the right things to say to that person. It will apprise the audience of what to consider before confronting someone who has belittled you as well as why would they do something like that.

What To Say To Someone Who Belittles You – 5 Things

Here are some ways you can respond to someone who belittles you:

  • Ask Them If They Have A Problem With You
  • Confront Them – Ask Them Questions
  • Ask Them To Sit Down & Talk To You
  • Come Up With A Good Response 
  • Tell Them You Will Take Action

Before we look at things to say to someone who belittles you, let us look at the reasons why they do so and what factors to take into consideration before actually responding to them!

Why Would Someone Belittle You?

There are tons of reasons why someone could be adopting such a condescending attitude towards you where they make you feel insignificant. At a young age we all are naive and take things as they seem. However, as we grow up, we begin to realize the intentions people have behind their actions – even though it is too late to do anything.

People are not so simple. They may appear to be one but in reality they are someone who is jealous of you. They could actually be angry at you for something you did to them. Not to mention they might even be trying to get you into trouble so they can have something that they wanted. A common reason why young teeneagers may belittle each other is because of the politics they experience at school. They do not want their friend to become too popular to the extent they are left alone. Maybe they like the girl you date and want to get you out of the picture somehow. There are numerous reasons.

Apart from the younger years, this type of behaviour is also seen when we are much maturer and usually occurs because of jealousy, animosity and possibly fear. Whatever the case is, it is quite hurtful and confusing to the extent that people can take on a toxic nature especially if they are related to you and meet you on a regular basis.

What To Consider – Before Reacting

It is important that you consider the following before you actually react to someone’s belittling attitude: 

  • Did You Hurt Them: It is possible they are trying to get back at you because of something you said or did that hurt them. Sometimes people behave immaturely and do not confront others on matters that upset them. Rather, they take up childish methods to get other’s attention. Hence, before you react a bit too harshly, consider this important factor.
  • Old Friends: You might be surprised but even old friends can take on a negative attitude towards you. However, there could be hints somewhere along those old tracks that make you realize this problem was never fresh. In earlier years of friendship, we may ignore the red flags. Later on, as we grow up and experience more with our close friends, we truly see who matters and who doesn’t.
  • Problems: It is possible the other is going through problems of their own and they may be upset that you don’t notice or it may be that you contribute to those problems in some manner. Not that, but they are also insecure that you are progressing in your life while they fall behind in their social circles, education, career or even family life. People do not know how to discuss their problems so sometimes you will have to take the initiative and confront them calmly.

Now that we have developed a deeper understanding of the topic, let us focus on the real issue at hand; what to say to someone who has belittled you?

5 Things To Say To Someone Who Belittles You

In this section we will look at how to deal with a situation where someone belittles you and how you can respond back.

Ask Them If They Have A Problem With You

Many people prefer to belittle you with passive aggressive comments, ignoring your requests or efforts or even throwing a sarcastic joke at you. They do so because they are scared that if they take up a more explicit approach you will react strongly. However, if they imply their message with twisted words then they realize it will leave you more confused and hence not in a clear position to respond back. 

If this is the case and your aggressor is someone who likes to hide behind their words then clearly ask them if they have a problem with you. Not only do you avoid the belittling comments this way but you throw the ball in their court and now they have to do the thinking. Make your aggressor feel scared and show them that you are not scared of confronting them. It is possible they take a few steps back and leave you alone.

Confront Them – Ask Them Questions

Demeaning behavior at the workplace is common practice and there are so many reasons behind it; maybe you are a threat to someone’s promotion, are jealous of you or they just dislike you as a person. However, in any case, they will pass those inappropriate remarks at you to put you down.

In this case, you may find it easier to figure out the reasons behind their attitude. Hence, start confronting them. If they tell you your presentation looks very basic ask them to point out how so. Furthermore you can ask them to give you suggestions on how to improve it. This will put them in a difficult situation especially if they are under the impression that everything they do this will have to offer a solid explanation. Another example is one where your coworker tells you how poor your work is that you forwarded them. Ask them why and if they can’t really explain take them around the office and get other’s opinion – it will shut them up for sometime.

Ask Them To Sit Down & Talk To You

If you feel that your aggressor is bothered by some deep rooted problems in their life where they have a need to take out their frustration on someone else or you have a hunch that maybe you contribute to some stress they experience then take a softer approach to them.

If they continue their comments to put you down then ask them to sit down and talk to you and have an open heart conversation with them. They may not be willing to open up so you might have to do the talking for a while. Tell them how you feel and why you think they are not a bad person and it is something that bothers them because of which they behave like this!

Come Up With A Good Response 

You have come to the conclusion that the person who belittles you is an absolute bully who does not care about anyone at all and they will stop at nothing to make you feel miserable. Put a stop to it by playing their game and come up with good responses to their comments keeping in mind the situation.

Tell Them You Will Take Action

If you work within an organization or some formal body where this is taking place then waste no time! If the person makes their advances once again, put up your hand and tell them you will inform upper management of their behavior. It would be a great idea to gather evidence in the form of support from colleagues who can also act as witnesses. Plan well and make sure there are no loopholes and take action.

Conclusion

This article provided a complete overview as to how and why a person should react to someone who belittles them. It outlined and explained the things you can say to someone who belittles you. At the same time, the article explained why someone may belittle you and what factors you should take into consideration before responding back in either a cooperative manner where you offer to sit down and talk or a manner where you straight out threaten the other person with telling management about their demeaning behavior towards you.

References

https://www.insureon.com/blog/bullying-in-the-workplace

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