What to do if you have depression and no one cares?
In this article we will discuss how to deal with the toubling belief that no one cares about you nor the fact that you may be struggling with depression.
We will also look at how depression affects relationships and why you might believe that no one in your life cares and a few steps you can take to cope with this thought.
What to do if you have depression and no one cares?
If you believe that you have depression or you have been diagnosed with depression and you think that no one cares about you, here are a few things you can do:
- Treat yourself well
- Find support and professional help
- Ask help directly
- End negative relaotnsho[s
- Make changes
Before we discuss these strategies let us take a look at how depression impacts relationships and some reasons why you might be feeling like no one cares about you.
Depression and relationships
Depression or major depressive disorder as it is clinically known is a serious mental illness that has affected close to 300 million people all over the word, according to WHO.
It is a debilitating disorder that can impact various aspects of your life including your relationships- both romantic, familial, and friendships.
The various symptoms of depression, such as fatigue, low energy, loss of interest in activities, and irritability, make it harder to maintain your relationships.
When you’re experiencing a depressive episode, it’s common for nothing to seem appealing and lack energy or interest in doing anything with the people around you, you might begin to withdraw socially or push people away and not share with your partner what’s going on.
The feeling of worthlessness or guilt for how you’re feeling, can make it hard to see yourself as someone who deserves help and might lead you to pull away from others.
While pulling away from people is a method of self-preservation, if it becomes a pattern in spite of others efforts to help you it can soon turn maladaptive. People might begin to misunderstand your struggles and pull away from you.
Let us take a look at various reasons why you might feel like no one cares for you.
Reasons why you might feel like no one cares
Not Everyone Understands
While there are people who are aware about depression as a major problem in today’s day and age, they are not aware of what actually happens when someone is depressed and how it affects them.
When you tell them that you are depressed, they might not understand and the behaviour they exhibit is not personal but rather ingrained and automatic because of what they have been taught and what they have learned over the years.
Others struggle too
Some people may be sympathetic to your situation, but are simply unable to actively support you as they might be struggling with other problems as well, in their own lives.
People might not be able to offer their support when they are struggling to cope with their own problems or feelings.
It’s not that they don’t care about you; but they simply do not have the emotional resources to help you cope while they themselves are struggling.
Your beliefs may be wrong
The way that you perceive support or lack of in your life could be impacted by the beliefs you hold about yourself, others, and the world around you.
These beliefs can change small slights and magnify them into problems, or worry into crushing anxieties. Your beliefs about yourself can also impact your thoughts and feelings.
For example, if you have very low self esteem and your friend does not return your calls due to their own personal reasons (ex: they might be busy driving) you begin to think that they do not care about you because you are not important enough to them.
Such beliefs could be the reason why you think that no one cares.
You might be pushing people away
When thoughts like “nobody cares about me” take over your mind, reaching out to friends sounds like the last thing you want to do. Instead you might begin to pull away from others more for fear of these irrational beliefs being right.
When you push people away, sometimes they assume that you really don’t want them or need them because they are people with feelings and their beliefs too. So when you realise one day that there is no one by your side, it could be because of your own doing.
It is possible that even the people who love you unconditionally don’t know what you need – or don’t know how to be supportive.
They may have no idea that anything is wrong or feel uncomfortable bringing up your emotional health because of prior lack of open communication and also, most people don’t have experience helping a loved one with depression.
No positive relationships
It could be possible that the reason why you feel like no one carers is because the people around you truly don’t. Not everyone is born with a supportive family or has supportive friends.
Your limiting beliefs of your own self worth may be holding you back from associating with supportive friends as well.
Side Note: I have tried and tested various products and services to help with my anxiety and depression. See my top recommendations here, as well as a full list of all products and services our team has tested for various mental health conditions and general wellness.
Steps you can take to help yourself
Here are some steps you can take to help yourself:
Treat Yourself Well
Perhaps one of the best ways to find the support you need is to start with yourself. Begin with becoming your own greatest supporter.
This can start by paying attention to that inner voice and what it’s saying about you and choosing to practice positive self-talk by expressing support with positive acknowledgements.
Instead of saying “I am so stupid” you can start by using care as you tell yourself that it is okay to make mistakes.
Another way to support yourself is to pay attention to negative thought cycles and the beliefs it stems from. Take great care to notice these beliefs and attempt at restructuring these beliefs by evaluating and challenging them.
You also can treat yourself well by looking for opportunities for self-care, such as doing things that improve your mood or caring for your body.
Because self-care is highly personal, start by making a list of the things you enjoy but might consider a luxury, like:
- Reading a good book
- Creating a journal
- Taking an afternoon nap
- Talking with a friend
- Listening to music
Take a moment to carve out time for these activities. Learning to care for yourself is to prioritize yourself and allow yourself to do small things will help you not only feel better but also will allow you to take responsibility for your health and emotions.
Find Support Elsewhere
When close friends and family can’t offer you what you need, it can be helpful to seek out people who can.
You can start by talking to a doctor about your condition if you haven’t already who can direct you to a therapist to deal with the symptoms of your depression.
You can also consider Depression support groups, either in person or online. People in support groups may start out as strangers to you, however, you can form strong bonds and support systems and also learn how to cope.
Ask for Help Directly
There are times when people would be perfectly willing to support and assist you if they realized what you needed.
Perhaps they don’t know how much you are struggling because they are accustomed to you being the strong one. Or maybe it has never occurred to them that you might appreciate it if they offered a listening ear.
Don’t hesitate to ask for help and ask them directly. There is no shame in needing help, even the strongest people need help. So be specific and direct about what you need so that they can understand and help you.
End Negative Relationships
There are going to be some people who are mean-spirited and hurtful. If you can, remove them from your life. Especially the ones who dismiss your struggles and are not willing to acknowledge your pain.
If you can’t end the relationship, find ways to either limit your contact with them.
It also helps to build and understand boundaries within yourself when it comes to negative people so that cutting them out of your life does not cause guilt or further distress.
By understanding where they stand in your life and how important they are or what benefit they give you, you will be able to understand just how much they’re support actually means to you. Usually if the relationship is negative, you will realise that it is not all that much of a support.
Meaning is everything – and you can learn how to change the meaning you give your experiences, thoughts and emotions.
Reframe the beliefs that you have about the lack of support in your life. Instead of thinking “No one cares about me”, take effort to focus on what you are capable of to get that care.
The people in your life might not show care, but taking a moment to understand that you have the capacity to seek out help because you deserve it, can be a way to help you get the help you need.
Make changes within you
You can’t control who cares about you, instead the only thing you can control is yourself.
Take time to make an effort to shift your mindset from victim to a warrior against your own pain and depression. Let this be the first step to help you get the support you need.
By seeking out professional help or by expressing your need to others can be a way to take back control of your life by deciding to live a fulfilling and meaningful life, no matter who cares about you or not.
In this article we discussed what steps you can take if you feel ike no one carers about the fact that you are struggling with depression. We have also explored why you might be feeling like this and how you can take care of yourself.
What we recommend for Depression
If you are suffering from depression then ongoing professional counselling could be your ideal first point of call. Counselling will utilize theories such as Cognitive behavioural therapy which will help you live a more fulfilling life.
Frequently asked questions related to “Depression: no one cares”
What to do when you realize no one cares?
When you realize that no one in your life cares about you, it is time to reevaluate your relationships- cut out people who don’t care and seek out those who can help you even if it means getting professional help from a therapist or life coach.
How do you survive when no one loves you?
One way you can survive in spite of no one loving you is to indulge yourself and in simple things that bring you happiness.
Treat yourself to the things that let you appreciate life, It can be something as simple as eating your favorite dessert or hitting the gym to get yourself fit and healthy.
Why does nobody seem to like me?
There are lots of reasons why you might believe that nobody likes you. One of the major reasons could be that you have a hard time connecting with other people or making friends.
When you are unable to connect with people, people might have a hard time connecting with you as well which can make you feel isolated and lonely.
It could also be because of your own critical beliefs about yourself which makes you think that anything other people do that has nothing to do with you is because they do not like you.
Why do I have no friends?
The reason why you do not have friends could be because of many reasons:
- It could be because don’t know how to make friends
- Maybe you are too shy or anxious or insecure to pursue friendships
- Maybe you are not accountable as a friend
- It could also be because you have enough friends amongst your siblings and cousins
How can I be strong when no one cares?
A few things to remember when you feel like no one cares:
- You’ll be fine.- Just because you do not have supportive people does not mean that you will not have a happy life.
- Don’t worry about it- your present lack of support does not mean you can’t find it elsewhere.
- Focus on the positive strengths that you have
- Learn how to spend time with yourself and be there for yourself.
- Seek out support groups who can understand you
- Try out new things, and try seeking out new friends
- Take notice of the people you already have in your life who are actually supportive rather than focusing on the people you wish were.
Overcome Depression and Find Joy in Life Again with BetterHelp
Living with depression can feel like an uphill battle, but you don’t have to face it alone.
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