This article will be your guide in how to ace the first date you have with that special person. It will highlight 7 things not to say when on your first date and how it can create a wrong impression about you!
What Not To Say On The First Date
Here are 7 things you should avoid talking about on the first date:
- Too Many Questions
- Your Parents
- Your Ex
- How You Want Things To Be – With Them!
- Yourself – Focus On The Common Things
- How Much You Like Them
- Your Friends & Family
Let us explore each of these areas so the readers have a good idea of why and how they can avoid talking about these things during their first date!
Your First date – Why Things Can Go Wrong
There are a number of reasons why your first date can go wrong because of things you said such as:
- Too Much Liking
- A Difficult Date
Going on your first date with someone can be an exciting but nerve wracking experience; it is the first time you are meeting someone and not only do you not know what to expect but you are afraid you won’t be able to impress the person who will be sitting in front of you. You do not want to put up a fake show but at the same time doubt your ability to keep your composure while being yourself.
Nonetheless, it is an interesting time and one that gives you memories – if not pleasant ones. In this section we will look at reasons why things can go wrong!
It is important to remember how to behave on the first date. Sometimes we can get carried away by a number of factors. One is stress. It is something that can make you act out in an odd and strange manner – something which you do not usually do. You may blurt out things you do not usually say or be unable to respond in a satisfactory manner hence making a fool out of yourself at some point in the conversation.
Stress will make you do funny things or say things that may not give your date a good or true impression about you. So before you go out, relax and try some meditation or breathing exercises to help calm yourself down and tell yourself it is going to be okay!
Too Much Liking
Ever have that feeling where you just automatically like the person and kinda fall in love? Right, everyone has been there. Most of the time it is infatuation and you think the other person is just perfect for you. Your feelings towards them blinds you and there is no way you can take your eyes off of them.
Naturally, you may feel that the other person also feels the same way about you – they think you’re perfect and want to be with you. As a result, you may get too comfortable or overconfident and just feel that this was always meant to be. This may be the perfect trap to get you to say things which may not always be suitable for the first date!
A Difficult Date
Yes we have all been there where we have a difficult date. They seem bored or barely laugh and dislike initiating the conversation. The pressure is on you to make things work and hence you are not only suffering because you need to take the lead but most of all, you are not having a good time; isn’t that what a date is for?
Being with a difficult person may cause you to say things to help resolve the situation. However, these things may not always be the best thing to say; you are actually pushed to say these because of the situation you are in and not because you want too. So don’t end up promising too much or talking about yourself and your achievements.
Being inexperienced can be a bad thing on the first thing and this is why you should always get some advice when it comes to these things.
You might end up being naive and whatever comes to your head. Sure being honest is a good thing but sometimes you need to keep your honesty in check keeping in view the time and place. Your honesty might scare the other person off or make them think you are too good to be true.
Side Note: I have tried and tested various products and services to help with my anxiety and depression. See my top recommendations here, as well as a full list of all products and services our team has tested for various mental health conditions and general wellness.
What Not To Say On The First Date – 7 Things
Here are the 7 things you should avoid saying or doing on the first date!
Too Many Questions
Don’t make the other person feel as though they are sitting with you in an interrogation cell and they only have one night to get back to you on all the questions you throw at them. Relationships need time to grow and develop and expecting the other person to conform to what you want can be disastrous. It will eventually scare them away!
Don’t ask too many questions, especially questions that are out of context. This will give the impression that you are too calculated or curious and may make the other person feel intimidated. Let the conversation flow naturally and ask questions that are not only relevant but also to the point and natural and do not require much thought – you just keep the other person comfortable.
The topic of parents is a sensitive one. You can leave them out but at the same time not force them into the conversation. Naturally your date will want to know who raised you and what it was like however, do not start talking too much about your parents first. It can make the other person feel as though you are too dependent on them and allow them to interfere in every matter of yours.
If your date is serious about you then discussing your parents excessively may make them feel as if the parents could be a hurdle in your bonding and thus avoid you.
The worst thing you could do is bring up your ex on the first date. Not only should you avoid bringing up this topic but also your date should avoid it too. Having a past history can be tough and discussing it with someone you are considering may be even tougher because you don’t know how much to share and how the other person will react.
It is best to allow some time to pass and then discuss topics that require more understanding between two people, a strong bond and mutual trust. Only then can you comfortably talk about this topic. Not to mention, if you take the lead and discuss your ex, your date may think you are not yet over them and hence you could be ruining your own chances.
How You Want Things To Be – With Them!
People are scared of too much structure and demands. They are comfortable when the other person is open, flexible and not so demanding. The first date is the worst time to actually tell someone how you want things to be with them in the future. It is necessary to be open and enjoy your first date rather than talk about the serious things.
Yourself – Focus On The Common Things
Don’t talk too much about yourself! The other person may feel that you are self obsessed about yourself or too showyb and this will again ruin your chances with the other person. Be natural – if they ask about you then rescind otherwise focus on mutual topics!
How Much You Like Them
It is only natural to get along with someone fast especially if they are the right one for you. But you need to be careful because this may not be the way the other person feels and hence if you show too much interest they may walk away or avoid you!
Your Friends & Family
Talking about others may be a put off for some people who actually want the first date to be about the both of you rather than other people. So be careful and focus on the two of you rather than some distant aunts and uncles!
This article attempted to guide individuals on how to behave on the first date by pointing out what things they should avoid saying! Furthermore, the article pointed out four reasons why a situation could arise where you speak more than required and mess up the first date!