This article will explain what are the common symptoms of a wounded narcissist. It will show what can lead them to feel wounded, how it may manifest itself to others, and how you can deal with a wounded narcissist.
What are the common symptoms of a wounded narcissist?
A wounded narcissist means that it is a narcissist that has experienced an injury. This means that something happened that took them out of their perceived sense of reality. So when a narcissist is wounded, they may react in a rage.
That is the most common symptom of a wounded narcissist. They will often become aggressive, acting in narcissistic rage. In that, they will often be abusive emotionally, or even physically. During this time, they can often insult, or even gaslight the people around them, making them doubt their sanity.
They may also cause explosive arguments as a way to make themselves feel better, and restore some sense of balance to their world. Most of them can use the silent treatment as a way to make the other person crave their attention, or even as a way to regroup and plot a new strategy for them to be in the world.
Another common symptom of a wounded narcissist is that they can start to falsely accuse the person that has injured them. Rather than thinking about what they have done, and if there is any reality to the criticism they have just gotten, they will begin to bad mouth the person, and tell others how wrong the other person was.
They can also go on to manipulate people around them, and may even pose threats to the people that are causing them the injury. The narcissist will feel this wound deeply and will count on all the defense mechanisms they have at their disposal to maintain some sense of self.
A narcissist injury that is not healed is something that will lead the narcissist to collapse. This means that if they go through that traumatic experience, and are unable to cope with it, in their particular manner, it will lead them to lose all sense of who they are, which can even lead to a mental breakdown or a psychotic episode.
What causes the narcissist wound?
A narcissist wound can be caused by many factors. But it is often related to the past experiences they had that led them to become narcissists. A person with a narcissistic personality disorder is often one that has been abused or neglected during their childhood.
Or are ones in which the parents had unreal expectations on, and may have pampered them too much. In those cases, the person will develop this grandiose sense of self. And hope that everyone around them will keep that idea alive.
When someone acts in a way that puts into question this fantasy of how great they are, the narcissist will be wounded. It can happen in the most mundane activities, like losing a match at a game, or talking to someone that doesn’t easily agree with them.
When they run into an imperfection of their own, or people around them, they can also feel wounded. In the same way, they would if they meet people that don’t respond to their expectations, or if they are criticized, or publicly embarrassed.
Narcissists will also be wounded if they feel like they have been overlooked for something, like a job promotion. And it may seem strange to other people because everyone would be upset by some of these situations.
But it is important to understand that the narcissist wound is a lot more intense than being upset. It is as if the basis of their identity has been hurt by the event.
How can a narcissist heal their wound?
Although it is not always easy to heal from a narcissist wound, it is possible to do so. You may have trouble recognizing that something is happening with you, but as you do so, and realize that you are dealing with past traumas, you can begin to heal.
No one may just stop being a narcissist from one moment to the next. But if little by little you begin to see yourself as human and understand that, like the rest of us, you are not perfect, the same way as your parents weren’t, you may begin to deal with your narcissist wound a little easier.
To deal with your narcissist wound it is also extremely important that you learn how to deal with your expectations of yourself. Managing in therapy how to set yourself to do things can also help you to experience the narcissist wound less intensely.
How can I deal with a wounded narcissist?
If you are close to a narcissist, and you feel like they are dealing with a narcissist wound, be sure to keep yourself in check.
They may often try to create an argument with you, so learning to separate yourself from the chaos they want to create can help you not get dragged into it. Having calming techniques, such as breathing exercises, and mediation can help you through that.
Learning to make the arguments less intense, by staying calm, validating how they feel, and giving them space will allow you to handle this difficult time better. As they are wounded, it may also be important to keep in mind that you should listen more than speak.
There isn’t a lot you can say that will get them out of that. So let them put it all out, and maybe at some point, you can say, in a short way, your side.
Because they can become even physically aggressive, you must put some distance between yourself and the narcissist during this period. And if you notice that this has become a pattern of abuse, it may be time to consider leaving this relationship and care for your physical, and emotional health.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): What are the common symptoms of a wounded narcissist?
How will a narcissist react if you end a relationship with them?
When you break up with a narcissist, they will be deeply wounded, but they can act in one of two ways. One of them, in which they did not dine with you, will make them go after you. They will try to get you back in every way they can.
For that, they can use many manipulative techniques such as gaslighting, silent treatment, or even threatening to harm themselves if they don’t go back. They may have complete disregard for your need for space, and your decision.
And will constantly pursue you. If at any moment they see you are open to getting them back, the love-bombing will begin.
And then it is up to you to decide if you will want to have the narcissist back in your life or not. But, if when you broke up with them they were feeling that they were done with you, and were almost ready to discard you, they can easily let you go without a fight, and will never look back.
What causes people to become narcissists?
To understand what causes people to become narcissists, it is important to understand that narcissism is a spectrum. And people can have traits of it, but not necessarily have a narcissistic personality disorder.
In any case, it can be caused by genetics, so people can develop those traits based on their family heritage. Or it can be related to their life story. As seen before, a narcissist can be a person that has either gone through neglect through their childhood or a kid that was too pampered or praised.
Research has also shown that it seems to be a neurobiological relationship to the creation of narcissistic traits. Showing a connection between the person’s brain, thoughts, and actions, causes them to present narcissistic traits.
Will a narcissist regret losing me?
Yes, it can be that a narcissist will regret losing you. But you need to keep in mind that their regret doesn’t happen in the way that it would in other people. The narcissist doesn’t regret losing the person, they will regret losing what the person could do for them.
So if at any moment the narcissist realizes that they are not getting any of the praise you used to give them, they can begin to miss you. And it is usually at that time that they may go after you, and start love-bombing you. When that happens, you should consider if you want to go back to a relationship based on that, and that it can often be toxic.
How can I make a narcissist feel bad?
To make a narcissist feel bad, it is often necessary that they feel like they no longer have control over you, or that they are faced with the reality that they are not perfect.
In the first case, showing them that you will not abide by their opinions, behaving in an unpredicted manner, or even standing up for yourself can make them feel miserable.
Once you show them that you are discussing things with them based on facts, that won’t allow them to change the reality of things and can also make them feel bad. As for them not feeling like they are perfect, anything such as losing a job promotion to a colleague, or going through a financial crisis can make the narcissist feel bad about themselves.
Are narcissists lonely?
Yes, narcissists are incredibly lonely people. They will often have difficulty letting people close to them, so they don’t show their vulnerable side. They can be so scared of what people will think when they see them without that mask of grandiose, and perfection that they usually display, that they will constantly keep people distant.
Aside from that, the lack of empathy and other narcissistic traits can make having a relationship harder. With time, the family members, or the romantic interests of the narcissist can become aware of how they behave and choose to leave, which just reiterates to them that they should keep their true self more and more hidden.
Because in-depth narcissists are incredibly insecure people, this loneliness can take a toll on them, and it can lead them to develop other mental health conditions such as depression, or even anxiety.
This article explained what are the common symptoms of a wounded narcissist. It also showed what causes them to be wounded, how they can heal from their wound, and how people around them can deal with this moment.
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