What are the 10 common symptoms of being a daughter of a narcissistic father?

This article will show you what are the 10 most common symptoms of being the daughter of a narcissistic father. The article will also show the impacts that being raised by a narcissistic father can leave on you.

What are the 10 common symptoms of being a daughter of a narcissistic father? 

Some symptoms may have been a part of your life if you are the daughter of a narcissistic father. Here they are.

You learned that their love was conditional 

Having a narcissistic father means that you have learned that they would only love you, and show you affection when they never felt like they needed something from you. They would also do so as they feel that this would make them look good, or make them feel important. 

If that is not the case, they may have been abusive, or even cruel to them. That can often leave the person with the feeling that they are unloved, and this conditional love can be extremely detrimental to your emotional well-being.

They were the center of attention 

A narcissistic father will always make every little thing about them. They need to be the center of attention. Even if something was happening to you, they likely made it about them, and it caused you to feel unheard, unseen, and as if what you were saying didn’t matter.

This may have manifested itself in many ways. They could have taken control over the conversation, or even taken credit for the good things you did. It all came to a point that they would even create drama, or a conflict to get more attention.

They left you questioning what was real, and what was your imagination 

Narcissists are great at this game. They gaslight you to the point you don’t know what is real, and what was your imagination. They are so great to distort the truth, that it leaves you unsure of yourself and even make you question reality.

In this process, whenever you try to confront them, they can say you are distorting things, that you imagined it all, or even accuse you of exaggerating.

You felt like your feelings weren’t  important 

Having a narcissistic father means you may have dealt with feeling like what you were saying, or feeling wasn’t important. That is because the narcissist needs all eyes on them, and will completely disregard you.

With that, you may have learned to suppress your feelings and hide them deep down, making it harder for you to learn how to express them, and even how to deal with them.

You saw that other relationships they had were also strange 

Growing up with a narcissistic father you may have realized that they had a pattern of negative relationships. 

That is because narcissists will often use people, and then discard them. With time you may have come to realize that your father would speak bad things about the people in their life, and was always looking for ways to take advantage of others, before cutting them off at the slightest criticism.

You were constantly worried about not doing what you wanted 

If you are a daughter of a narcissistic father chances are you spend a lot of time worrying if you were satisfying them. This constant fear was caused by the thought that, if you displeased them, they would cut you out of their life as you have seen them do too many others.

And even though you may have gone a long way in trying to please them, it is not always possible to do so. Narcissists may be so volatile that what could please your father one day, didn’t do anything the next, making you feel constantly afraid, and stressed.

You were responsible for how others would see them 

When you have a narcissist father it may be that they led you to believe that all your actions would rub off on them. Because they constantly need validation from others, they will need you to look your best, and in consequence, make them. look good.

This type of behavior would probably often lead you to be punished whenever you embarrassed them, or even be buried by them. All of these are situations in which you may have felt like an accessory to your narcissistic father.

You had to always agree with them 

Although they portray to be extremely self-assured, narcissists have fragile egos, and because of that they always need others to agree with them, as a way of validating them. This probably meant that you had no right to have your thoughts, feelings, or even beliefs.

The relationship with them was always hot and cold 

Narcissists will often love to bomb the person to keep them around. They will make you feel like you are the most special person on the planet. But this is just a way to keep you close. But when they no longer need you, the narcissist will likely change their behavior completely. They can go as far as having anger outbursts. This sort of behavior pattern may cause you to think that you should try harder to please them.

They never did anything wrong

To protect their fragile egos narcissists will often behave in a way as if they did nothing wrong. They will bluntly transfer the responsibility of any wrongdoing to you. And in this, your father may have led you to believe that you were constantly making mistakes.

How being raised by a narcissistic father can impact you? 

Being a daughter of a narcissistic father can have a lot of effects on you. It can have scarred you for life, and it may be necessary for you to go through treatment to recover from it all. They may have had a deep effect on your self-esteem, and made you feel constantly ashamed and even insecure since you could never expect a word of comfort from them.

In the long hall, being raised by a narcissist left you questioning everyone, and how true they are with you. Because you are always suspicious, it may be difficult for you to be vulnerable with others which can impact your relationship.

And you are not only doubting others but also yourself. Your father may have you questioning your sanity so often, that you have trouble knowing that what you feel is valid. And this can even impact your decision-making process, and make you need the validation of others to make a move.

All this need for others may lead you to develop a codependent pattern of relationships. It is not only you that needs the other person, being the daughter of a narcissist also taught you that every single matter in your father’s life was your responsibility, so you need to make the other person feel good.

In this pursuit of pleasing others, you will feel the need to always be perfect. This need to please others will also cause you to have trouble asserting your boundaries and saying no to people. 

This lack of sense of self will also make it harder for you to identify your needs, and what you want, and validate them as important. Making it difficult for you to tell others how you feel. 

That is because having a narcissistic father will make you feel like you never developed an identity of your own, you were just someone that existed to fulfill your father’s needs, making it difficult for you to separate from them.

Because of all that, a daughter of a narcissistic father will most likely have trouble with having a healthy relationship, and can also come to develop many mental health issues such as anxiety, or even depression.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): What are 10 common symptoms of being a daughter of a narcissistic father? 

Is there a cure to narcissism?

There is no cure for narcissism. What is possible is that a narcissist will realize that some of their traits are bringing problems to their lives, and may look for professional help as a way to cope. In that, they will often go to therapy.

In that process, they will learn more about how to deal with the expectations they have of themselves and others. And how to not expect to be so perfect. They may also learn how to set more realistic goals for themselves.

What are ways to make a narcissist angry?

A narcissist will likely become angry if they realize that they are losing their control over you. So if you want to make a narcissist mad, you can stand up for yourself, show them you are not abiding by their ideas, and that you are putting yourself as the priority. 

Narcissists can also be mad if they face situations in which they realize they are not perfect. So for example, if they don’t get a job promotion l, and a colleague gets it, or if they go through financial matters, it may be that they will become mad.

Will a narcissist miss me when I am gone?

A narcissist can miss you when you are gone, but, likely, they won’t miss you the same way you would miss other people. The narcissist will likely miss what you could do for them, especially if they haven’t found someone else that would fulfill their needs as you do.

In that case, it can be that the narcissist will reach out, and try to get in touch, to get you back to fulfill their needs as you once have done it before.

Can a narcissist have a long-term relationship?

For a narcissist, most relationships will last between a few weeks or even a few years. But you should know that narcissists often lose interest in relationships once it requires them to show themselves more, be more intimate with the other person, and show their vulnerable side.

A narcissist will often end a relationship when they realize that they have taken everything they could from you. When this happens, they will not be as interested in you anymore and will discard you, which is extremely common for narcissists.

How do narcissists react when they can’t control you?

When a narcissist can’t control you it can be extremely hurtful to them. They can become enraged, and can even threaten you. When this happens, they will likely use their manipulation techniques, such as gaslight, silent treatment, or even bad-mouth you to other people, to try to get some control back over you.

Conclusion 

This article explained what are the 10 most common symptoms of being the daughter of a narcissist, and how it may have impacted you.

If you have a question or comment about this article, feel free to write it in the section below.

References

https://www.choosingtherapy.com/raised-by-narcissists/