This article will show what are common narcissists break up games. It will also show why they do it, and how it works to their advantage. Aside from that, the article will explain how it can feel for their partner to be on the other side of those breakup games.
What are narcissists’ break-up games?
Narcissists break up games are mind games that they can often use to manipulate, or hurt their partners. Since they feel like they need to be the ones to get the last word in, they may also use the breakup game as a way for that as well.
One of the most common narcissists’ break-up games is the silent treatment. After they end the relationship, or after they are broken up, a narcissist may stay silent.
They will usually do that as a way to punish their former partner. It may also be that the silent treatment is a way to make the other partner desperate, so as soon as the narcissist decides to go back, they will be taken back gladly.
They will also often use grand gestures as a way to play mind games with their former partners.
Some people may perceive this as a romantic gesture, but the idea behind it is to manipulate their former partner into doing whatever the narcissist wants, be it getting back together, or making them feel guilty for leaving the narcissist. The grand gesture can be buying something expensive, or showing up with flowers.
But sometimes it may not even be necessary for them to do the grand gestures. Rather than that, they will start love bombing you. If they are wanting you back, they can begin to act extremely affectionate towards you, leading you to maybe think it is better to get back together.
Narcissists can also use other people in an attempt to play a breakup game. This is often called triangulation, and in it, the narcissist will use other people to make their former partner feel bad. It can be that they act as if they are extremely hurt, so the mutual friends will tell the former partner that they were unfair by breaking up with the narcissist.
With that, they may also do another one of the narcissist break-up games, which is playing the victim. They will likely begin to tell others stories about the relationship, or the breakup, that makes them look good.
As if they have always been caring, and the perfect partner, and you were the mean one for ending it. Or if they have ended the relationship, they will say that they gave all they could to this relationship and that they had to end it as a reaction to what you did.
Gaslighting can often be used as a narcissist break-up game. They will make you question your sanity, and lead you to own up to all that was wrong in the relationship. If they can’t convince you that you were wrong, then at least they will tell you that they did what they did as a reaction to your behavior.
Narcissists can also take revenge on their former partners. They can begin a smear campaign or even start to bad-mouth them to others. They can use all those intimate things you have shared with them throughout the relationship just to show how much power they have over you.
Aside from that, they can often ghost you if they feel you have done something they didn’t approve of, leaving you with a lot of unanswered questions. But at some point, if they decide they want to have you close, they can begin to bait you.
This means that the narcissist will spend time with you just to make sure you remember how good it was to be with them.
And when they have you back right where they wanted, they can begin to distance themselves. This is often a technique that narcissists will use if they feel they need to be the ones to put in the last word at the end of the relationship.
Why do narcissists play breakup games?
As seen before, the narcissist break-up game will often answer the needs of the narcissist. It can be something they will do to get more power over the person. So if they feel, at any point of the relationship, that you have become equal, and that you are standing up for yourself quite well, they can bring a breakup game.
It can also be a way to get you back if you have ended the relationship. Or even to keep you tangled in their web, which prevents them from moving on. In all ways, the breakup games from the narcissist have to keep you connected to them and to get their power back over you.
How does it feel to be on the other end of the narcissist break-up games?
Having a relationship with a narcissist can be extremely draining. As they begin to play their break-up games with you, you can feel that this is having a huge impact on your emotional, and even physical health.
The first thing the narcissist break-up game does is cause you to feel completely confused. You don’t know if that person still has feelings for you or if you could trust them.
And if at any point you open yourself up again, you can feel their behavior has changed once more. They didn’t want you back, they wanted the power over you back.
And with time, after going back and forth with this for so long, you may begin to realize how much of your time you are wasting with this person that cares so little about you. Having this perspective in mind may be one of the things that will help you move on from this story.
This is important because a relationship with a narcissist can be something that will often leave you with a scar. You will begin to think if you can trust your judgment and consider that everyone will act as the narcissist did towards you, leading you to have difficulty trusting people.
All and all, with time, this can even make you feel depressed. You can feel so alone, and without any sense of real support, and connection that it may be easier for you to feel depressed. Aside from that, all the emotional abuse the narcissist will put you through is more than enough reason why some people may get depressed.
And when you are finally done with the narcissist, it may come with a sense of relief. But it also comes with unbearable loneliness. That is because, even though it was completely abusive, the relationship with a narcissist can make you feel special in some way.
They need your praise so much that it can make you feel like the most important person in the world. So as they are gone, you can begin to feel empty. But keep in mind that like drug withdrawal this is momentary. And as you begin to fill your life with more positive relationships, it will pass.q
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): What are narcissists’ break-up games?
How do I know a narcissist is done with me?
When a narcissist is planning to discard you, their behavior towards you will change. They will no longer try to pretend they feel emotions, and they can begin to blame you and criticize you for everything, as they are trying to make you feel worse about yourself.
They can also become more irritable, and every little action can be a reason for a discussion, so you will feel like you are stepping on eggshells all the time. Before discarding you, they will take every little drop of the advantage they can from you, and will no longer be physically intimate to make you question your self-worth.
And at some point, they will just leave. Without even having a proper conversation about it, the narcissist will just walk away.
Can narcissists change?
Narcissists can change, but this implies that they will come to terms with their shortcomings and look for professional help to deal with those, which can be extremely hard. When a narcissist looks for help, it implies that they have taken some sort of responsibility for their actions and that they understand they need to change.
Which, as known, is not something narcissists will easily do. The easiest way for a narcissist to look for help is if they realize that some of their narcissistic traits are leading them to troublesome situations. Then, they will likely go to therapy.
It is important to know that there is no cure for being a narcissist, but they can become more self-aware, and break this perfect view they have of themselves, and their expectations of that others.
What is the narcissist’s biggest fear?
The biggest fear of narcissists is to see themselves alone. They feed on the praise and attention other people give them. It doesn’t matter if it is good or bad. It can be a compliment or even an argument.
What the narcissist can’t stand is the silence after people walk away. Because of that, they will usually have a lot of people around them, and as soon as one relationship ends, they will move on to the next that can fulfill their every need.
Will a narcissist regret breaking up with me?
It can be, at some point, that the narcissist regrets breaking up with you. But you should understand that this regret is not the same as you would feel. Narcissist doesn’t regret not having you in their lives, rather than that, they regret that they are not able to get you to fulfill their needs.
If after the breakup they realize that finding someone to put in this spot is not so easy, they can begin to try and get you back, so you will fulfill their needs.
What are the types of people that narcissists are attracted to?
To answer that question, it is important to remember that narcissists are not attracted to the person, they are attracted to what the person can give them. And because they are always looking to feel great about themselves, they will ultimately be attracted to people that feel great about themselves, are self-assured, and are often powerful.
This article explained what are narcissist break-up games, why they do them, and how going through them can make you feel.
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