This article will show some of the most common phrases narcissists are using as they try to gaslight you. The article will explain what is the goal of the narcissist as they say each of these common phrases.
What are common gaslight phrases narcissists use?
Narcissists have many common gaslighting phrases that they will use to make you question your sanity, and even to regain their control over you. Here are some of the most common ones.
You are insane
The first common gaslighting phrase the narcissist will say is to check your sanity. They don’t think that you are insane. What happens is that you probably caught them on something that they have no other way out of aside from making you believe that you have lost your sanity.
This is a way for them to dodge their responsibilities, and because the narcissist tends to say that, and so many other things, they can begin to wear you down, and you may begin to question your sanity.
You are just insecure
Narcissists are pros at playing with their victims’ insecurity. In this game, they will give little nudges to make them insecure, for example, saying negative things about your appearance, or personality. And through that, you will begin to question yourself.
As a narcissist is in a relationship, they will often keep themselves open to meeting other people that will praise them, and if at any moment their partners become aware, they will deny it quickly. As they do so, they can often say that you are just behaving in this way because you feel insecure, which is yet another way for them to bring you down.
You are overly sensitive
A narcissist is someone that has no empathy. They will act without ever taking into consideration what their actions will cause to people around them. So if at any moment you express that you feel hurt by their actions, they will say that you are just overly sensitive.
With time, in a relationship with a narcissist, you will begin to ask yourself if you are overly sensitive, and this is what will likely cause you to not manifest yourself the next time the narcissist does something that harms you.
I was just being funny
Narcissists will often expose you in front of people as a way to feel good about themselves. They need constant validation, so sometimes they can tell people intimate details of your life, or even bad-mouth you to other people, and as you confront them, they will likely just tell you that it was all a joke.
Saying that they were just being funny, not only gives them the excuse for doing what they did, but it is also a way they find to criticize you by telling you that you are the one that doesn’t know how to deal with a joke.
Are you bringing this up again?
As you go into a relationship with a narcissist, the abusive situations will just pile on. And it may be common that, at some point, you will explode. As you do, you may bring up not only matters related to the present but also what has been.
That is because being in a relationship with a narcissist gives you no time to deal with the problems until you have to face a new one. As this happens, the narcissist will take themselves out of the problem and will make it seem that you are the one that is constantly looking for trouble, and bringing up negative things over and over again.
I am fine, you are the one that has the problem
The narcissist may know what they are doing to you. They know that they are often manipulating you, and taking advantage of the situation. But as you try to confront them, they will never admit it. They know that you are probably constantly open to looking at what you have done wrong.
And if they project this blame on you, you will likely try to get better. And this is when the gaslighting is working on you. You become responsible for all the improvement that needs to be done in this relationship and leave them completely free.
You are imagining things
This is a common gaslighting phrase a narcissist will say to you. As said before, narcissists will never own up to any of their wrongdoings. So if at any moment you tell them you caught them on a lie, they can easily tell you that you are imagining things.
Because they are extremely persuasive and seductive people, at some point you may begin to question yourself about what happened. And this is when the gaslighting is working on you. You begin to ask yourself if what you saw, or heard is real, as this person is telling you it is your imagination.
I don’t remember it being that way
Narcissists will play with facts as much as they need to so they don’t look guilty about something. If you have an agreement with a narcissist, and at some point, they begin to act differently from what was set, they will easily tell you that, from their perspective, that wasn’t what the two of you had agreed on.
Instead of apologizing, or even recognizing that they did something wrong, they will just say that they understood the situation differently.
I behave like this because I love you
Narcissists will often be extremely abusive of the people in their lives. So as you begin to confront them on why they are behaving the way they do, they will measure no consequence, and will blankly say that they are doing this because they love you.
In this manner, they hope that you will see their actions in a different light. One that is coated by the love they say they feel for you. Which will ultimately lead you to forgive them.
You need to get better
A narcissist will never assume that there is something wrong with them. They will never face their need to work on themselves. For them, they are the embodiment of perfection. So as you are in a relationship with a narcissist, and you hit a difficult moment, or you become aware of something they have done wrong, or need to work on, they will simply project.
Instead of taking a look at themselves, they will quickly turn and say that the problem here is you. You are the one that needs to check your behavior. They may have put you through the greatest suffering, but at the end of the day, for them, you put yourself in that situation, and you need to be better to get out of it.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): What are common gaslight phrases narcissists use?
Is there a cure to being a narcissist?
No, there is no cure to being a narcissist. Rather than that, at some point, the narcissist may come to terms with the fact that the narcissistic traits are bringing trouble to their lives, and may look for professional help.
For that, they may go to therapy. Which will help them look past this fantasy of perfection they have for people and on themselves. They will also be able to set more concrete goals for themselves, rather than those unattainable ones that narcissists usually focus on.
In some cases, narcissists will often need medication. But those won’t be able to help them with the narcissistic trait, but most other conditions, such as anxiety, and depression can happen to them.
What are ways to disarm a narcissist?
As you are in a conversation with a narcissist, you can disarm them by acknowledging that you can’t control how they feel. Or that you understand their point of view. That is because they are so used to confrontation and crave it since it is a way to keep you under control, that it may leave them speechless.
What is the biggest fear of the narcissist?
The narcissist’s biggest fear is being left alone. They need other people’s attention, and praise to survive. So if they ever see themselves without that, they will not know what to do.
That is why narcissists will often always have people around and go from one relationship to the next. They won’t necessarily need that person, but they will need the attention, and validation that person will give them.
What makes a narcissist miserable?
A narcissist may seem like someone that will never be mad, they can seem so put together, that other people may doubt they will feel miserable at any moment. But many things can make them feel like that.
The first thing that will make them feel miserable is them realizing they have lost control over you. If you begin to act unpredictably or do things they don’t like, they can feel extremely bad.
If you stand up for yourself and show the narcissist that you are not taking whatever they say as truth, they can also be miserable. This will also happen when they understand that, in a conversation with them, you are standing your ground-based on facts, and not going on with what they are saying.
Finally, a narcissist will be miserable as they are facing situations that show them they are not perfect. So if they are going through financial problems, or realize that other people have gained a promotion instead of them, they can become extremely mad.
What is the best way to humiliate a narcissist?
Even though they may look so self-assured, narcissists have incredibly low self-esteem and will have their confidence shaken by the smallest things. But a clear way to humiliate a narcissist is to do something in public that will make them look bad.
That is because if other people see what has happened, they will not believe the narcissist’s version of the story, which will render them powerless. Other things such as challenging their view on matters, or not acting the way they have told you to act, can also make them mad, as well as being laughed at.
This article showed what are the common gaslight phrases that narcissists will use to manipulate you. It explained in detail what is on their mind as they do use each of those common gaslighting phrases.
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