What is wedding planning depression? (+3 coping tips)

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In this blog we will discuss what wedding planning depression is. 

We will also briefly discuss what are some causes of wedding planning stress and what are some of the ways one can cope with wedding planning depression. 

What is wedding planning depression?

Wedding planning depression refers to the emotional distress that mimics mood disorders in individuals that are planning weddings as a result of stress.

It has to be mentioned that wedding planning depression is not an actual recognised disorder however, men and women who experience depression-like symptoms during wedding planning seasons is quite common. 

The process of wedding planning is actually stressful and oftentimes tiring. If not organised and handled well, the stress and anxiety piles on which leads to the person developing emotional distress, burnout, and eventually depression.

Wedding planning is where the newly engaged couple organises the events and specifics that are required for their wedding  day. 

If they do not take the assistance of a wedding planner who is professionally trained to handle such arrangements, it becomes a very big and heavy task for the couple to handle on their own. 

A study was conducted by Zola in 2018, where they analysed the relationship between stress and wedding planning on 500 couples who were planning their wedding.

 Out of the 500, 35% of the couples ranked organising as the most stressful part about wedding planning. 96% of the couples said that planning for a wedding is stressful, out of which 40% of them said that it was ‘extremely stressful’. 

While this particular survey did not mention whether stress can lead to depression, plenty of research finds that high stress is a major cause of mental disorders- particularly depression and anxiety. 

Some of the tell tale signs that a couple is experiencing wedding planning related depression includes:

  • The couple do not find excitement or joy in the process anymore. Wedding planning is always imagined to be fun and quick, as it is where they plan for the big day which they have been waiting for. But the pressures and stress suck the life out of the process and them, making the activity seem like a task and a chore. 
  • The couple begins to fight a lot. This is where we can see that the process has become a negative and stressful task for the couple. The pressures are getting too much and it is affecting how they feel about each other. The misunderstandings that would not be a problem before, suddenly becomes a trigger for all their frustrations to slip out at each other.
  • The couple is  constantly irritable and moody. This is a sign that they are very stressed out and want a break from the wedding planning, which is totally okay!
  • If they feel like they are in a low mood every day and it is affecting their sleeping and eating habits, they need to take a break from the process and possibly seek guidance and help before the feelings develop into something more. The process has led to a deterioration of their mental and physical health. 
  • A sure sign of wedding planning stress is when the couple thinks of leaving all the planning behind and simply getting married in court. 

What causes wedding planning related depression?

Given below are the reasons why wedding planning is considered stressful:

Finances

Most of the stress that leads to depression, stems from finance and financial issues. Planning a wedding is not only a long and tough task, but also a financially hefty one. Depending on the scale of the wedding, or how they wish their dream wedding to be, they will have to spend that much more. 

According to statistics the average wedding in the US in 2019 cost $27,000 alone. Budgeting is the biggest task of wedding planning and staying within it poses as a much bigger battle then most may imagine. 

Even the people who may be the most organised and ready, could fall apart when it comes to the budget. 

Family related stress

Family pressure is also a main source of stress and depression. Constantly changing their ideas and preferences in order to accommodate the wishes of their families can often be both upsetting and tiring. 

Of course, the couple would want to honour their parents and make them happy, but this, if not handled properly, could lead to a lot of friction and misunderstanding. 

Decision making

Due to the financial and budget pressure, and the family pressure, it comes in the way of making effective decisions.

A lot of things are to be kept in mind before they make a decision. The pressure and stress could make deciding on the colour scheme of the wedding seem like a task.

Guest list and social relations 

The guest list is where the couple gets to decide who they would like to invite. But again, family pressure and past relationships and fights make a reappearance here. If two of the guests invited have a history of fights and friction between the two, it becomes difficult to decide who to invite. 

Stress related arguments 

The inability to make decisions could lead to fights and arguments within the couple. These fights could be small and solved instantly, or they could be very major ones that almost cost the relationship. 

Such fights lead to depression and anxiety, where the couple worries about their relationship. Wedding planning is considered as the time where the couple is truly tested in their love for one another. 

The fights could even occur between the family members of either side, or between the couple and their own family and parents. Trying to keep up with the family wishes while also trying to achieve their own wedding dream can lead to a lot of fights which need to be kept in check. 

What are some of the ways people can cope with wedding stress and prevent wedding planning depression?

Some of the ways to cope with wedding planning stress and depression are as follows:

The couple should understand that these kinds of feelings are normal and then they are not alone when it comes to these experiences. Just because they are experiencing stress and depression does not mean that this translates to a hidden feeling that they do not want to get married. Instead of jumping to conclusions about their feelings they should consider seeking medical attention and help.

Even though it is easier said than done, the couple should try and find the fun in the wedding planning or make it fun for themselves by including some games or activities that could make it more engaging and motivating for them

If the wedding planning is too stressful then the couple should try and invest in a wedding planner.

If hiring a wedding planner is not within the budget then organisation is key. The couple should divide the responsibilities and roles among themselves and their family members. They should always be an alternative to the plans that have been decided in case something does not work out on the day off for a couple of days before

Stay close to family and friends and confide in someone that they trust, and talking to them about their feelings and the stressors can help the couple in coping with the stress

The couple should understand that it is never wrong to ask for help whenever required

Wedding planning always seems much easier in the person’s imagination while in reality it is an extremely stressful task. In order to play it safe they should give themselves a longer time for the planning than they actually require

When organising the wedding planning it is always good to set priorities and what is required more than the other. This helps in efficiently planning a wedding that would please everyone and would not be missing very important factors

If the wedding planning seems to be becoming much more stressful and it’s taking a toll on their mental health and the relationship it is important that the couple takes a break from the wedding planning or goes on a short vacation or trip. The couple should also often go on dates in order to minimise misunderstandings and to improve communication 

Irrespective of the pressures of family it is important that the couple goes with their guard and tries to achieve the wedding that they had in vision. 

The couple should always put themselves first in the wedding planning process. They should prioritise their mental and physical health over anything else.

Conclusion

In this blog we have discussed what wedding planning depression is. 

We have also briefly discussed what are some causes of wedding planning stress and what are some of the ways one can cope with wedding planning depression. 

FAQ related to Wedding Planning Depression

Can wedding planning cause depression?

Yes, Wedding planning can lead one to feel depressed due to the overwhelming amount of stress that people go through when people do wedding planning.

What is the most stressful part of wedding planning?

Every wedding planning step is stressful however, one of the major stressful parts of the wedding planning is finalising the guest list since family pressure and past relationships and fights make a reappearance here.

Can planning a wedding ruin your relationship?

Yes. Planning weddings are extremely stressful and the inability to make decisions could lead to fights and arguments within the couple. These fights could be small and solved instantly, or they could be very major ones that almost cost the relationship. 

Do couples fight during wedding planning?

Yes, it is very common for couples to fight during wedding planning due to the amount of stress they are under. Wedding planning is considered as the time where the couple is truly tested in their love for one another. Such fights lead to depression and anxiety, where the couple worries about their relationship. 

What’s a good budget for a wedding?

According to statistics the average wedding in the US in 2019 cost $27,000 alone. Budgeting is the biggest task of wedding planning and staying within it poses as a much bigger battle then most may imagine. Baywood weddings cite that as a general rule, plan to budget at least $100 per guest. 

How do you deal with pre wedding depression?

One of the best ways to deal with pre wedding depression is always to set priorities and what is required more than the other. This helps in efficiently planning a wedding that would please everyone and would not be missing very important factors

Another thing that you can do is if the wedding planning seems to be becoming much more stressful and it’s taking a toll on their mental health and the relationship it is important that the couple takes a break from the wedding planning or goes on a short vacation or trip.

References 

‘Wedding Planning Stress and Mental Health’  Clarity Chi. Retrieved on 28th April 2022. 

https://www.claritychi.com/dealing-with-wedding-planning-stress/amp/

Ivanna Colangelo. ‘Keep Calm and Marry On: Wedding Planning’s Impact on Mental Health’. Talk space. Retrieved on 28th April 2022. https://www.talkspace.com/blog/keep-calm-and-marry-on-wedding-plannings-impact-on-mental-health/

Jenn Sinrich. ‘10 Signs You Are Too Stressed Over Your Wedding’ Brides. Retrieved on 29th April 2022. 

https://www.brides.com/story/signs-you-are-too-stressed-over-your-wedding

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