Twin Flame separation – The reasons behind it

In this blog post, we talk about twin flame separation, the reasons behind it and how to overcome such pain. 

What are twin flames?

The “twin flame” is said to be our missing part, the masculine (if you are a woman) or feminine (if you are a man) aspect that would compliment us perfectly.

It is said that with them we could experience unearthly happiness, the nectar of the Gods…

This is the romanticized version of this concept at least, because, mainly, the purpose of meeting your twin flame is to accelerate your spiritual evolution.

It’s not a blessing to share your life with your Twin Flame.

The meeting is memorable, with sparks of passion and desire, ecstatic physical experiences, the feeling that you are in the arms of the Divinity, that you are “home”. But, because there is always a but…. 

Don’t forget that our twin flame comes to challenge us, to cause us a radical change of perception, an increase in the level of consciousness and personal vibration, a reconnection of the cerebral hemispheres, the balancing of the mind and body.

Why do Twin Flames separations happen?

The relationship between the twin flames implies an energetic attraction different from everything you knew could exist between a man and a woman, beyond sympathy, sexual attraction, desire, romantic love, higher-level connection, beyond… everything you have seen in the movies. 

And it is not by chance that, when you meet your twin flame, everything that is not love, light or truth, tends to come to the surface to be cleansed, healed.

And if it weren’t for this attraction we would tend to avoid these healings, we would move as far away from that person as we could because the healing work is terribly hard and no one would want to do it willingly. 

After the passionate initial meeting usually comes a period of separation, which you could have not predicted in the perfection of the moment you lived. 

It surprises you, it hurts, it makes you feel awful. 

What usually happens is that one of the partners (the runner) leaves/refuses to get involved / cuts off any form of communication with the other.

He or she hides, no longer answers the phone, cannot be found, etc. It can happen as a result of constant fighting, a dispute or even without a specific reason. 

The chaser, the other partner, remains in the agony of unanswered questions, the main one being, of course: “why?”

In 95% of cases, it is the woman who is the first to realize, who notices this divine connection and who creates the space for it to develop and yes, she is usually “the chaser” or the “pursuer”, and the man is the fugitive ”,“ The runner ”.

Possible reasons:

  • Acceptance, support and unconditional love are more easily accessed by the feminine divine, who is  more conscious, more intuitive, more connected to the frequency of this new type of relationship
  • Usually, women feel certain physical signs in their body, which gives them the certainty that there is something different and very special in the “twin” partner – tremors, shivers, twitching of certain muscles in the body, unusual sensations in the body
  • Sometimes men feel flattered by the woman’s attention and immediately access their ego and go to a comfort zone. Therefore they do not notice the vibration, the depth and the special dynamics of the new relationship, they only feel annoyance and violation of personal space
  • Men are taught by the society in which we live to always remain in their mind and to suppress their emotions, to bury them deep in the subconscious. They no longer realize that they need to heal too.
  • The feeling that you are losing yourself in a relationship is uncomfortable for the male ego that does not want to lose his freedom
  • A twin flame relationship doesn’t make much sense for the logical and rational mind of a man
  • Sometimes the “fugitive” feels that he does not deserve such love or does not support the intensity of feelings and then the ego will create a lot of reasons why he should not trust the relationship, and return to his initial “freedom”
  • The spiritual awakening that turns one’s life upside down in unexpected and destabilizing ways, it’s scary.

What happens to the one that stays?

After the “fugitive” leaves the relationship, the one that stays tries to understand where he/ she went wrong, what is wrong with him / her, what could have been done better, how can they improve in appearance, behavior, skills so that they can bring the fugitive back into the relationship.

Another thing is facing all the judgments of family or friends who consider him / her crazy because, after all the embarrassing or painful situations, he / she still believes wholeheartedly that the “fugitive” will return and they will live happily ever after.

Because she feels with all her being that the “fugitive” is the chosen one, she will not  give up the fight and will start “harassing” the other with visits, phone calls, emails, letters, messages. 

The more insistent the “pursuer” is, the more the “fugitive” moves away and becomes more distant, colder.  

For some couples, the separation can last weeks, months or even years. The good part is that, in this time, the partners can do a powerful cleansing and work with one’s ego.

Only then, after working on themselves, after becoming the best versions of themselves, the two flames can reunite again. 

Sometimes the one who stays gets tired of waiting, tired to suffer after the one who has left. 

The pain is too great, and at some point he/she  decides to continue their life with someone else. But their soul will always be looking for its twin. 

While separated, one has to start a healing process. Without the healing, the twin flames cannot be together again. 

Sometimes there are more than one separations, which usually are shorter and shorter in time, because the healing gets easier.

The separation will not last a second longer than necessary but what makes it repeat itself is the anxiety of separation, trying to control everything , running after the one that got away. 

Instead of chasing your partner, it is better to turn to yourself, to focus on working with yourself, on becoming a better person. 

At a certain point in time, when both of you will be ready – emotionally, mentally, physically, and energetically ready – you will most definitely meet again.

But you need time apart first, for this to happen. 

Separation is not entirely a bad thing. It is something natural, part of the process and this is what we need in order to become better people and to understand our meaning in this world. 

It’s not a punishment, it’s actually helpful. We just need to learn to be patient and not rush this soul connection if we want the relationship to be sustainable in the long run and both partners to enjoy it.


In conclusion, I would like to emphasize a very important aspect: this type of relationship involves a huge service to humanity and a certain personal mission, because the more you cleanse your limiting beliefs and your shadow, the deeper you heal traumas, old sufferings, the more you break down the old forms of codependent romantic relationships and lay the foundations of the new enlightened relationships, the higher not only your personal vibration but also that of the whole world, for we are all interconnected.

Please feel to leave any comments on the content or ask any question you may have  about twin flame separation. 

Twin Flame Separation Depression

Twin Flame separation can lead to depression because of how closely related these two souls are, and it can be a spiritual shock to both, the Twin Flame Runner as well as the Twin Flame Chaser, to separate for any reason.

Twin Flame separation is just something that sometimes happens, much like any other relationship, but depression may be more common in these individuals are closely linked to one another and separation may trigger feelings of abandonment or extreme hopelessness or helplessness.

Even in cases of Twin Flame separation depression, it can be seen that twin flame runner depression may usually be worse compared to twin flame chaser depression.

Twin flame runner depression may also be one of the main symptoms of Twin Flame separation, and one might see it as a symptom of soul shock and while to some people it may seem like it is unfair that the person who is running from the relationship is the one feeling down about it, there is a reason behind it too.

The reason twin flame separation depression is so much more common in Twin Flame runners than twin flame chaser is because the chaser will often have the urge to blame, falling quickly into anger and self-pity, but the runner might instead be primarily confused about their feelings and will try to deny them instead.

Twin Flame Separation Pain

Twin flame separation pain can be one of the worst feelings because of the intensity of connection between the two people, and when these two people separate it might feel like a part of one’s soul is getting ripped out, and the pain of it can be excruciating.

Twin flame separation pain can also be haunting and intense because the person may not know how to deal with pain that they otherwise would have shared with their twin flame, and when the person lacks a partner they depended on so heavily, they may experience a feeling of being somewhat untethered.

Twin flame separation pain can be seen in many lost souls going through twin flame separation, and it results from an overwhelming sense of loss and intimidating fear about how to get through it, and being terrified at the prospect of the future.

It has also been seen that any twin flame separation sufferer will experience twin flame separation pain because the intensity of the twin flame relationship may make these people more likely to separate.

People who study the concept of twin flames are well-versed in the fact that while twin flame separation pain is intense and horrible, it is also a conventional and necessary path, as twin flames may separate after the initial union because they are not prepared for ascension.

Ascension in terms of twin flame relationships may refer to fulfilling one’s individual mission, almost like Maslow’s Self-actualization but in a more spiritual way, to the point where one may collaborate and co-create with one’s twin, which means that twin flame separation pain results from the disruption of a need that is very important to the person.

Twin Flame Separation Dream

Twin Flame Separation dreams are fairly common because when someone finally finds their twin flame, they may often experience an intense relationship that they may be scared of losing, and that manifests in their subconscious dreams.

Twin Flame separation dreams are also characterized by specific signs and symbols that the person may choose to interpret, and these symbols are usually deeply personal to the dreamer.

Twin flame separation dreams may often be speckled with symbols of eternity or symbols of loneliness because those are usually concepts people tend to associate with twin flames, and they may find that they always wake up from these dreams feeling emotions like longing and fear.

Twin flame separation dreams may also consist of sexual undertones, because the the sexual relationship between twin flames can be very intense and significant, and often it may make its place in their subconscious, which means that they are likely to dream about their twin flames and astral sex.

Twin flame separation dreams may also often lead to feeling an intense desire for the twin flame, and the person may be very emotional about it which may lead to even more dreams about them.

Twin Flame Separation Stories

Twin flame separation stories often help people understand how intense these relationships can be, and they can be very useful when someone is trying to know their own twin flame separation and how to deal with it.

Here is a moving Twin Flame Separation story from an anonymous person on a popular forum:

“We ended up doing lunches together on occasion and I knew I probably shouldn’t be doing lunches together with him, but I did. And that is probably when our marriages started going bad. I didn’t think I was neglecting my husband, but looking back I definitely did. I got to the point where I was thinking about Bruce while I was home. And that didn’t help me with my husband.

Bruce and I broke it off and he ended up quitting the job and ghosting me. During this time my marriage continued to go downhill and I thought about Bruce all the time.

I ended up bumping into him at a conference one day that I was attending. He had apologized for ghosting me saying that he and his wife were going through a difficult time as well.”

Here is another twin flame separation story about someone who realized quite late that they were on a twin flame journey, and how their experience was.

“I only realized in the 7th year that I was on a Twin Flame journey. I was fighting a lot internally until I healed my wounds, nourished my scars, and restored my faith.

The past couple of six months involved revelations upon revelations. Before these six months, I wasn’t in separation with my Twin Flame, only physically. We were born in the same country, but eventually, I moved to another continent in the hopes of losing these feelings for him but clearly, it didn’t work.

But for the last six months, I was in my hometown, and looking back, every occurrence led to my physical reunion with the love of my life.

Now, we aren’t in constant contact but I know he’s there when I need him and the other way around. I feel content, and I’m still learning more about myself and him. The understanding that we have for each other is immense. I was happy on my own, content by myself, grateful for myself but having him by my side makes me whole.

It’s true that everything will happen in its own timing and what’s meant to be will be; they aren’t just cliches. Changing your mindset to positive thinking and understanding that what you want is already yours will have you make a bigger shift. Surrendering isn’t a myth, surrendering to what is for you, will be for you is nothing but the truth. Healing from your past isn’t just a saying to guide you, it’s very true. Finding peace and balance in your energy is truly a state of being.”

Twin Flame Separation Stages

Twin Flame Stages, including the Twin Flame Separation Stage are:

  • Preparation
  • Recognition
  • Twin Flame Separation
  • Twin Flame Reunion
  • Oneness

In the first twin flame stage, Preparation, one may have a strange sensation that someone that is very important to you spiritually, is ‘out there’, but you may not know how to find them or have any inkling of when, or even if, they’ll appear in your life. 

It has been said by many spiritual masters that in the preparation stage of twin flames you need to try and learn to love yourself unconditionally, and treat both yourself and others you come across with compassion and forgiveness, which are also concepts that one may find in Buddhism and Existential theories of psychology. 

The second Twin Flame stage is Recognition, which may be described as the feeling you get when you meet your twin flame and feel like you already know them at a deep level, and feel like your values and beliefs are matched and congruous, but you also need to remember that meeting a twin flame may not be like matching ideas but probably something like matching the deepest wants and needs of your soul. 

Twin Flame Separation stage is the twin flame stage that is most difficult and painful, but also very necessary, and in this stage one might see a lot of negativity, fear, attachment, and other feelings coming to the surface.

Twin flame separation stage sounds like an incredibly hard and painful process and a lot of people may start to hate the idea of twin flames completely in this stage, but one has to remember that it’s also one of growth and understanding, and can give you insights about each other as well as yourself.

The Twin Flame Separation Stage is marked by the appearance of concepts known as the Runner and Chaser, where the runner is the twin flame soul that wants to run away from the problems and the chaser is the twin flame soul that wants to resolve them and go after the runner.

The twin flame separation stage may be caused by anything, from lack of communication and the frequent arguments that may result from this, or an inability for one or both of you to express yourselves and to get an idea of the powerful emotion you are experiencing.

Needless to say, the Runner in the twin flame separation stage may be the soul that may have more “baggage”, so to speak, or more spiritual or emotional trauma, whereas the Chaser may be more spiritually self-aware.

The stage after twin flame separation stage is Twin Flame Reunion, where the twin flames unite again, which generally seems to happen when both parties have worn the other out.

The last stage in the twin flame stages is Oneness where there is emotional, mental, and spiritual maturity for both individuals.

Twin Flame Separation Sickness

Twin flame separation sickness refers to the physical problems caused by twin flame separation which may include lethargy, apathy and other physical illnesses and this phase is incredibly hard to go through in both physical and mental ways.

Twin flame separation sickness may become slightly easier to understand when one realises that it is in fact, quite similar to the common physical manifestations of anxiety, stress or depression, which are also issues one might face during twin flame separation.

Twin flame separation is incredibly hard on the mind, and it has been shown many times by now that when the mind is disturbed the body can be too, and this is a primary reason behind the people going through twin flame separation to experience physical illnesses.

Twin flame separation sickness can also often include breathing or chest related difficulties, because the hormones are completely out of balance and this affects the blood pressure of the person directly, meaning that they become more likely to fluctuating heart rate and blood pressure, causing flutters and tightness in the chest or even palpitations.

Twin Flame Separation Kundalini

Twin flame separation and kundalini awakening, or kundalini related experiences have been considered to be quite related, as both of them are incredibly uncommon and it is possible for the two to happen in the same person because it means that their consciousness is elevated enough for them to ascend to a higher level.

Twin Flame separation and twin flame relationships are also linked to Kundalini, which refers to a flow of energy that happens after all the 7 energy centers in the person are awakened or engaged in some way, and the reason these two are linked is that many people who have experienced kundalini awakening are likely to experience twin flame relationships.

It has also been seen that twin flame separation, or twin flame relationships, can also lead to the twin flame partner awakening the Kundalini in their counterpart, although in some rare cases both of the twin flames are awakened or one is fully awakened and the other is becoming awakened. 

It has also been seen that when one twin flame is more common that one is awakened and the other is not and the unawakened twin is often a narcissist even if it is the unawakened twin’s energy that awoke the Kundalini in the awakened twin.

Twin Flame Separation Solar Plexus Pain

Twin flame separation has been seen to lead to solar plexus pain in many people, likely because the solar plexus is a ganglia of nerves and cells that are intimately connected to the key areas of the body that may be involved in the experience of intense emotions and feelings.

Twin flame separation and solar plexus pain are also considered to be related because the solar plexus rests right under the heart, which means that any changes in blood pressure or heart rate can lead to significant distress to the twin flames, and it can often mean that the person will feel even more physical symptoms.

Twin flame separation solar plexus pain is also something that may be a part of twin flame separation sickness and may be found in many twin flame separation stories as well, because it is a part of the spiritual existence of the person.

This instance of someone talking about twin flame separation and solar plexus pain should give you a better idea: “I felt that during the initial phases of separation and it was because of the “double effect” of the energetic share with my Twin Flame two years ago.

Even if I was in a good mood, I would be attacked by a wave of sadness which would automatically affect my state of being.”

Twin Flame Separation Reasons

Some common twin flame separation reasons are as follow:

  • Not having healed from old wounds yet.
  • Mental and unearthly puerility.
  • Lack of love for self
  • Need to learn more lessons
  • Needing, or having someone better to look forward to

Twin flame separation reasons can differ from person to person and they may often consist of individual reasons, because while twin flames involve the same spiritual conditions they can still differ from person to person.

Spiritual awakening is something that is often a part of twin flame separation, and when one of the partners has not developed yet it can be one of the major twin flame separation reasons.

People might think that a twin flame is just the answer to everything and that it solves all the problems but the truth is that expecting your twin flame to help your mental and spiritual condition is unjust, and you need to first be at peace with yourself else you might get into difficult situations down the line, which is why not been at peace can be another major twin flame separation reason.

FAQs about twin flame separation

How long does twin flame separation last?

How long a twin flame separation lasts, it depends on the couple, as each experience is individual. Some say that on average, the separation lasts 1 to 2 years.

But that is not necessarily true, as we cannot really know how much two people will be separated. It may last a year, it may last several years. Or less… 

Why does twin flame separation hurt so much?

Twin flame separation hurts as much as any other separation.

When we break up with someone we start a grieving process, we are reminded that we are forever and we can even be easily replaced.

It is especially hard to break up with someone you truly feel you have a special connection with.

Do twin flames have to go through separation?

Sometimes twin flames have to go through separation as their encounter is hard to manage, in the first place.

For some, it is said to be too much, too difficult to handle. However, there is no general rule. It really depends on what type of souls are they. 

How do you know your twin flame is thinking of you?

You know your twin flame is thinking of you when you start to feel powerful and loved all of a sudden. Twin flames are connected on a deeper level. 

Can Twin Flames be toxic?

Twin flames can be toxic, but so can any other types of relationships.

Sometimes we can’t seem to understand one person, no matter how hard we try or how many sacrifices we make.

You have to know that sometimes it is better to let one go. And perhaps you will meet again, in different circumstances, as different people.


The Twin Flame Handbook, by Josephine Smoke

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