Toxic love – A complete guide that will help you to identify a toxic love.
In this guide, we will discuss what is a toxic love and how to identify it.
Relationships go through their good times and not so good and this is normal. Many manage to resolve their differences and continue the relationship, but others, when they see that there is no solution, decide to end and everyone continues their way. But there are couples who, regardless of the situation, decide to remain in the relationship.
Some people do not accept that the relationship can end and prefer to continue regardless of what they have to endure. This denotes symptoms of low self-esteem since the person is not putting their well-being in the first place. When a person loves someone regardless of how the other person treats them in the relationship, one could say that this person has a toxic love.
Toxic love is one who does not let its partner grow. A toxic love can end up completely acquitting the other person without his being aware. The person in the relationship understands that these behaviours are normal and that it is the way to manifest love, when in fact it wears the person physically and emotionally.
Many people choose to remain in a toxic love and others do not know what a toxic love is. People who choose to stay in a toxic love think that these behaviours are normal. They do not know how to differentiate what is a good deal where respect is the main protagonist. The person believes that the harmful behaviours its partner makes are a way of showing love. This type of person has a misconception of love and may be due to various factors.
The people who choose to stay in a toxic love are those who were in one way or another in a similar situation in the past. Maybe they saw how one of their parents suffered in this type of relationship and they think it is normal. They grew up in a system where abuse was the norm. A person who is in a toxic relationship is very much in love to realize that the situation is not good at all. It does not see beyond, simply that it wants to be with its partner at all costs.
Some people don’t know what toxic love is. Those people see abuse naturally, it is similar to people who know that the relationship is toxic, but they decide to stay. In this situation, the person who remains in the toxic relationship understands what he deserves. Here, there is low self-esteem, the person does not recognize their value and takes everything they give regardless of whether it is good or not.
Even the person choosing or not knowing how to identify if it is in a toxic relationship, several symptoms can be perceived when a person is in a toxic relationship.
Symptoms of a toxic love
Some several behaviours and words determine if a person is or has had a toxic love. You might feel identified as one way or another we all were or have been involved in a toxic love. Some of the symptoms are:
The constant need for approval
A person who is involved in a toxic love seeks constant approval from their partner. Everything you are going to do must be confirmed by your partner. It feels that it cannot do anything if its partner does not approve it or not.
Manipulation is part of what a toxic love is. In manipulation, one of the people in the relationship uses a series of strategies to take advantage. Use emotional blackmail and always look for ways to blame the other person for any problem that happens in the relationship.
Try to change the other person
Toxic loves are also characterized by wanting to change the shape of the other person. The person wants its couple to behave and act in the way it prefers. Do not let its partner develop its personality.
This characteristic is common to be present in a toxic love. The person wants to control everything their partner does. It always wants to be there and know everything that happens, but not in a way of concern for his partner but because he wants to control everything.
Limit its partner from sharing with others
Toxic loves tend to be characterized because one of the parties tries to prevent their partner from sharing with other people. It wants to be alone by its side and does not let its partner enjoy with other people. This creates a lot of distrust for what you prefer that your partner does not leave.
This is a vital characteristic of toxic love, suffering. In toxic relationships suffering is present. One of the parties goes through what can be termed a “hell” to their partner. verbally and physically abuse and make your partner understand that this is a way of “loving.”
How can a person free itself from a toxic love?
Some of the basic characteristics of a toxic love were noted previously. It may be that in some way or another you may have identified or seen these signs of toxic love in someone else. It is important to recognize when a person is involved in a toxic love. This not only occurs in relationships but also with family relationships. We love our family and sometimes it is hard for us to identify or accept that we can be involved in a toxic love.
For a person to be free from a toxic love, several actions must be carried out. Among the first is to identify that you have a toxic love. The characteristics mentioned above can give you an idea that if you have a toxic love or not. Toxic love is characterized by disrespect for the other person. Where you are not given decent treatment and try to change it for your convenience. You have to be cautious and not confuse the signals. A person who loves you will only want the best for you. You will not use any type of games or relaxes that may compromise your physical and mental health.
Once you’ve identified if you’re really in a toxic relationship or not, it’s making the decision that you’re going to end that relationship. It is difficult to end any kind of relationship, but it is much worse to remain in a place where you do not receive the treatment you deserve. If it is in the case of a relationship, you tell this that you do not feel well in the relationship and that it is best to end. Your partner’s reaction can give you a signal of what that person is like. It may be that your partner does not want to end and will try to use words like “I will change,” “forgive me,” “will not happen again,” but you cannot get involved in this. It is normal for me to use these types of words to convince you to stay in the relationship. It is better to getaway.
After the relationship is over, work on you. Sometimes people remain with a toxic love because they do not recognize the value they have as a person. Work on your self-esteem, recognize the value you have as a person. Do not accept any type of abuse since nobody has the right to make you feel bad. All people have their value and you have yours. Do not accept less than you deserve.
After all of the above, take your life back. Before being with that toxic love, surely you had an active social life. You shared with your friends and had a good time. Find your friends, share and have fun. Being among friends is always a good one and after having left a toxic love.
All these actions are keys to get out of toxic love and to recognize if you are in another. Do not let the signals confuse you, stay tuned and analyze when you see that things are not going well. Remember that a toxic love doesn’t bring anything good, that’s why it’s called this way.
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FAQs about toxic love
What can I do if my partner hits me?
You should not allow your partner or anyone to physically and mentally mistreat you. If your partner has beaten you, it is best to leave the relationship. Tell your family about the event so they can help you in this situation.
How do I tell my possessive partner that I want to end the relationship?
Some people have difficulty assimilating a break. Talk calmly with your partner and explain the reasons. Avoid discussions and do not open to communication once the relationship is over.
What can I do if my partner is addicted to drugs?
If your partner is addicted to drugs, you can help her by trying to understand the seriousness of her situation and that she needs medical treatment. You have to have empathy and not talk to him in a way where the attacked addicted person feels.
My partner says that it will change and never does, it continues to mistreat me, what can I do?
If you see that your partner continues with the same signs and the abuse does not stop, it is better to leave the relationship. You cannot be in a place where abuse is normal. You do not deserve this kind of treatment.
Is it right to remain as friends after the relationship is over?
It all depends on how the break was and if the feelings you both feel are clear. If the relationship ended in the best way and both agree that they no longer want to have a relationship, a friendship is no problem. But if there was abuse in the relationship and one of the parties wants to use friendship to try to return, it is better to avoid having friendship at the moment.
A toxic love brings nothing positive for a person’s life. The person who is involved in this type of situation can achieve a lot of suffering both physically and mentally. Each person must recognize the value it has and not allow anyone to destroy its morals. If you have a toxic love and feel that you cannot leave that place, start working on your self-esteem. Realize the value you have and that disrespect is something you cannot accept. Love seeks to make other people feel good, loved and valued. Do not be afraid to leave a toxic love because you feel that this is what you deserve since that is not the case. You deserve love and respect, that they treat you well and that they want the best for you.
What we recommend for Relationship & LGBTQ issues
- If you are having relationship issues or maybe you are in an abusive relationship then relationship counselling could be your first point of call. Relationship counselling could be undertaken by just you, it does not require more than one person.
If you are dealing with LGBTQ issues then LGBTQ counselling may be a great option for you. Maybe you are confused as to your role and identity or simply need someone to speak to. LGBTQ counsellors are specially trained to assist you in this regard.
- Toxic love
- Toxic Love 5 Steps: How to Identify Toxic-Love Patterns and Find Fulfilling Attachments
- A Toxic Love Affair