Tips for dating someone with Asperger’s (+7 Relationship challenges)
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OptimistMinds
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The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter. The article then gets reviewed by a more senior editorial member. This is someone with extensive knowledge of the subject matter and highly cited published material.
The current blogpost will be checking out some great tips that you can use for dating someone with Asperger’s Syndrome. We will also be discussing some unique challenges that this condition poses particularly when it comes to romantic relationships.
Tips for dating someone with Asperger’s
The best tips for dating someone with Asperger’s have been listed below,
- Learn about Asperger’s
- Bring more clarity into the relationship
- Understand their unique language
- Be more upfront with them
- Plan activities and tasks
- Get more emotional support
- Focus on their positives
- Go to therapy
- Reduce eye-contact
- Ask transparent questions
- Accept them as they are
- Set boundaries in the relationship
- Join a support group
Learn about Asperger’s
The best thing that you can do if you are dating someone with Asperger’s is to simply learn more about the syndrome. Learning about it can not only give you much needed information but also show your partner that you sincerely care about them.
Bring more clarity into the relationship
The factor that sets a relationship with someone with Asperger’s apart from others is that mere assumptions cannot be made here. If you are talking to them about something, you will need to be very clear about each bit of information.
Understand their unique language
Asperger’s does not present itself the same way in every person and can be manifested differently everywhere. Something that you can use when you are dating someone with Asperger’s is to simply try and understand their unique ways of communicating.
Be more upfront with them
Another thing that you can try while communicating with someone with Asperger’s is to simply be more upfront and frank with them. This reduces the chances of miscommunication and misunderstanding between you and your partner.
Plan activities and tasks
Relationships require a lot of work. While relationships with others may be easier since both the partners may plan activities, the same cannot be said for someone with Asperger’s. You may need to take the lead when it comes to planning tasks and initiating the action.
Get more emotional support
Those who have Asperger’s might find it hard to understand when someone else is sad or upset, including their partner. And therefore, you may need to seek emotional support elsewhere through friends or family.
Focusing on their positives
A lot of harm can be done when someone with Asperger’s is identified by only their diagnosis. But they are much more than that. You can encourage their self-esteem by focusing on their positives and giving the spotlight to their strengths.
Going to therapy
Another thing that you can do for yourself and your partner is by simply going to therapy. Therapy, both individual and couple’s therapy, can be great for venting about your emotions and also for making communication more open between you and your partner.
Apart from individual’s therapy, couple’s therapy can also be great for those who are in a relationship with someone who has Asperger’s syndrome. These therapy sessions can help the partners understand their communication patterns and unique love languages.
Reducing eye-contact
Eye-contact is necessary for social interaction but can be scary or overwhelming for someone who has Asperger’s. If you are dating someone with Asperger’s, you will need to remember to limit your eye-contact with them while talking or communicating.
Asking transparent questions
Communication is the key to any healthy relationship, including that with someone who has Asperger’s. But you may need to go a step ahead here and be as transparent as you can when it comes to asking questions. The more transparent the questions, the clearer the answers will be.
Accepting them as they are
The biggest mistake that you can make when you are dating someone with Asperger’s is trying to change them, even if you think it is going to help them. Accepting them for who they are will make your relationship stronger since there is more room for growth and self-esteem.
Setting boundaries in the relationship
When you are dating someone with Asperger’s, you will need to set plenty of rules to make the best of your relationship. These rules or boundaries are necessary so that you and your partner can enjoy your personal spaces without stepping on each other’s toes all the time.
Joining a support group
Dating someone with Asperger’s may not always be easy and can sometimes be overwhelming, mainly because you cannot lean on them all the time for emotional support. If you find it hard in the relationship, you can always join a support group which can give you more resources.
Challenges of Asperger’s in terms of dating
Asperger’s may not have so much impact when compared to other conditions of the ASD but can still bring a number of challenges in certain areas, specifically in dating and relationships. Some challenges that Asperger’s may have when it comes to dating are:
Problems in eye-contact
A common problem that people with Asperger’s face is maintaining eye-contact for long periods of time. This is a big challenge for people with Asperger’s experience since most people tend to communicate mostly with their eyes through eye-contact.
If someone is new to a relationship with a person who has Asperger’s, they might find it difficult to speak or communicate with them without the use of eye-contact or with limited eye-contact. This can also sometimes create an obstacle in the relationship.
Unconventional voices and vocalizations
Those who have Asperger’s syndrome often tend to have different types of voices which can lie flat or be high-pitched. While this sign may be pretty obvious in childhood and is often fixed during adulthood, it can sometimes persist and this can be tough to accept.
Blunt methods of communication
People with Asperger’s syndrome may often have trouble in ‘reading the room’ and may not be able to express opinions in an empathetic manner. Blunt communication methods can be another challenge that these types of relationships may go through.
For instance, if the partner asks them how they look in a particular dress, they may get a blunt response that they don’t look so great in it. Experiences like this can cause fights and misunderstandings in a relationship.
Unique social mannerisms
Asperger’s syndrome can also lead to unique social mannerisms which may not be accepted by everyone. This can also pose a challenge for some people who might feel that they are getting embarrassed by their partners in social situations.
Problems in empathizing
Those who have Asperger’s syndrome may also have issues in empathizing with the emotions of others, including those of their partners. This can also become a challenge for their partners since emotional support might be lacking in the relationship.
Obsession with a certain topic
An important warning sign of Asperger’s syndrome is being obsessed with a particular topic. While they may often build their careers around this and may not have any issues with the topic as individuals, this can cause issues with their partners who might not accept it so much.
This type of obsession can also be frustrating if the time spent on it is interfering with the relationship itself. This can be particularly experienced in the initial stages of a relationship where more time together may be sought.
Unbreakable routines
People who have Asperger’s syndrome may also have certain routines which they might not be able to break or change easily. This can also pose a challenge in relationships, especially if the other person is used to more spontaneity.
Routines can also become challenging in relationships since the person may require the partner to weave their entire schedule to fit the person with Asperger’s. This topic can also become a topic of arguments especially if the partner tries to enforce a change.
Conclusion
The current blogpost has checked out some great tips that you can use for dating someone with Asperger’s Syndrome. We have also discussed some unique challenges that this condition poses particularly when it comes to romantic relationships.
If you like this blogpost, please leave your comments and questions in the space below.
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