Things that people with BPD say (11+ BPD code statements)

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Page last updated: 10/11/2022

In this post, we will be listing out the things that people with BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder say or might say. Having a condition like Borderline Personality Disorder can make the person do many things, some of which are overt, while others may be subtle signs of distress.

Things that people with BPD say

Things that people with BPD say or might say are,

“I hate you”

Those who have BPD may often say this in a fit of anger. If they are in a relationship with you, they may say this when they are feeling insecure or anxious. This can also be their way of pushing you away as they fear that you will abandon them at some point or the other.

You can respond to this by saying that you still love them or simply say that what they are feeling is not true. Saying that they hate you can also be a way of them pushing you away so that you have an opportunity to give them reassurance.

“Okay”

Saying ‘okay’ to a relevant question in the right context may not sound like a problem, but if you ask a person who has BPD and they respond with just ‘okay’, it may mean so much more than that.

It can also be a cry for help that they might not openly express to you. You can respond to this by asking a follow up question about their health or their job. However, you need to make sure that the question is not a nagging one as this can irritate them.

“I feel tired”

This statement is common among many mental illnesses, including depression and anxiety. When someone with BPD says that they feel tired, it can refer to physical fatigue as well as mental fatigue.

But most of the time, it can be a way of saying that they have been going through a rough patch and are emotionally exhausted by it. You can respond to this by asking them about their health and if something is troubling them.

“Hey! What’s up?”

This can seem like a harmless statement that people often say to each other. But when someone with BPD says this to you many times in the course of a few days, it can mean that they are reaching out to you for something.

It can also mean that they need to hang out with someone apart from their family or loved ones and want you to come over or simply take them out for some ice-cream. You can respond to this by simply asking them if they are free to meet sometime or want to do something.

“Please leave me alone”

A statement like this from someone who has Bipolar Personality Disorder can mean that they are mentally exhausted and may come up in a fight. When someone with BPD says this to you, you might automatically agree to give them time and space.

But the issue with BPD is that it causes people to always fear that their loved ones are going to leave them at some point or the other. So, if you are indeed giving them their space, you can also try reassuring them that you are right there in case they want to talk about anything.

“It’s just too much”

This statement is a confession of an overwhelming feeling. When someone who has BPD says something like this, it can mean that they feel that whatever is troubling them is too much for them to handle.

In such a situation, you can simply ask them if they need help and what you can do for them to feel better. You can also offer your comfort by just sitting there with them while they vent their feelings to you.

“It’s nothing. I just have a headache”

In some cases, it might be a genuine headache. But more often than not, a person with BPD may often excuse themselves out of a conversation or a social event by faking a headache. While sometimes it can be an excuse for some alone time, it can also be a sign that they are tired.

When you hear someone with BPD say something like this, don’t leave them alone and make sure that you are asking them follow-up questions. If they are still sticking to the headache theory, you can also show your care by bringing over some comfort food.

“I don’t know why I’m feeling this way”

When a person who has BPD says something like this, it can mean that they are confused about their feelings or their emotions. This is definitely understandable since BPD often leads to lots of emotional rollercoasters and the person may not be able to keep a track of their feelings.

A statement like this can also be a major red flag which means that the person’s support system needs to spring into action as soon as possible. This can mean using coping strategies and tools and even contacting the doctor if necessary.

“I’m perfectly fine”

This is often a statement used in Hollywood before everything goes wrong in a movie. More or less, it can resemble a similar scenario in real life as well, especially when someone with BPD says it.

This of course depends on the context and the tone in which the person might say it. If the tone is negative and dull, you can respond by asking them a follow-up question about what they have been up to recently and how they have been handling it.

“I don’t feel good”

If the person with BPD has a close social support system who is aware of the signs and triggers of a breakdown, this statement should set off the fireworks. When someone with BPD says something like this, it means they need emergency attention.

A breakdown in those who have BPD might endanger their very lives and might also lead to the harming of others near them. Therefore, it is best to have phone numbers and addresses readily handy in case of situations like this.

“Do you want to hang out?”

Asking someone if they want to hang out can seem like a very normal thing to do. But someone who has BPD asks you if you want to hang out on a repeated basis, it might be that they are not feeling okay and need help currently.

Those who have BPD often make a person believe that others don’t like them and those who are close to them might abandon them at any point of time. If they ask you to hang out and you turn down the invitation, this can further strengthen those feelings.

“Everyone hates me”

One of the most common signs of BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder is that the person may often feel that everyone hates them and might leave them at any given time. Even if it is not true at all, and even if they have many friends around them, you can hear them say this often.

While you may be tempted to shoot back with something vicious to make you feel better, this can only further instigate the problem. The best thing is to stay calm and once they have calmed down, you can go ahead and reassure them with proof that this statement is not true.

“It’s your fault”

People with BPD are often known to gaslight other people and turn the blame away from their own selves. In case they are blamed with something, they might just come across and blame you instead and say that this is your fault.

Responding to this can be tricky since the person who is gas-lighting clearly knows what they are doing. You can respond to this by walking out of the room and getting some space or simply confronting them for accountability.

Conclusion

In this post, we have listed out the things that people with BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder say or might say, simply as a means of seeking help or letting you know that they are indeed distressed.

If you like this post, please leave your comments and questions in the space below.

Citations

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2963467/
https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-020-03008-x
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0165032721007837
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/9670
https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/borderline-personality-disorder-relationship
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/living-emotional-intensity/201908/5-ways-survive-argument-when-your-loved-one-has-bpd
https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/borderline-personality-disorder/symptoms/