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The 5 STAGES OF LOVE (Broken down)

In this brief guide, we will present the 5 stages of love.

We will discuss each stage talking about its features and we will give some tips to help you to develop your love until the fifth stage.

The 5 Stages of Love: Why Too Many Stop at Stage 3

Many people think that disillusionment is the last stage of love, so they stop at stage 3.

The 5 stages of love are:

  • Stage 1: Falling in love,
  • Stage 2: Becoming a couple,
  • Stage 3: Disillusionment,
  • Stage 4: Creating real, lasting love,
  • Stage 5: Using the power of two to change the world.

5 stages of love: Stage one: Falling in love

The first stage is also called a stage of falling in love, as well as honeymoon or fantasy phase.

At this stage, the partners start dating to know each other. The partner seems perfect during this period. 

This stage can last from a few months to about two years.

Usually, this stage of attraction and romance lasts for three months.

The first stage differs among the 5 stages of love with the following characteristics:

  • Focusing only on similarities, and ignoring flaws – you idealize your partner, you see only good in him/her,
  • Spending lots of time together – you want to be all the time with your partner and do not imagine being apart,
  • Avoiding conflicts – you prevent any disputes, and you think they will never happen.

The stage of falling in love feels fantastic, and that is because our organism produces hormones such as dopamine, serotonin, testosterone, estrogen, and oxytocin.

The lovers in common belief that they will always be in love.

5 stages of love: Stage two: Becoming a couple

At this stage, the partners deepen their love and become a couple.

Sometimes it happens that one of the partners decides that he/she has made a wrong choice, and the relationship ends at this stage.

But if they choose to stay together, then the couple bond develops. The partners feel safe and appreciated.

The couple moves from a passionate, fun, intense stage to the next more serious one.

The partners start feeling more comfortable in the relationship, and the couple can prefer staying at home watching movies together instead of going out.

The couple usually moves in along or gets married. They settle down and start a life together.

5 stages of love: Stage three: Disillusionment

In the third stage, partners feel disappointment. Many relationships fall apart.

You may still love the person, but that is not a “blind love” anymore.

Partners start noticing each other’s flaws; small annoyances seem more significant and irritated. 

The routine makes partners feel trapped; they might suspect if their choice was right; they might feel grief, partners also wonder how their lives would develop if they chose another partner or concentrated on the career. 

Disillusionment is the hardest love stage; if the couple does not give up and overcomes the difficulties, then the worst is behind.

But if one of them or both fight for their love, they move to the next stage.

5 stages of love: Stage four: Creating real, lasting love

If the couple stays strong and overcomes the previous grieving stage of disillusionment, they pass to the next stage and “get stuck.”

This phase is outstanding with its stability. It lasts for two years.

Partners work to keep the spark alive to enjoy their love.

Each of them accepts the other with his/her advantages and disadvantages.

They realize that besides similarities, they also have differences.

Arguments are possible too, but it is normal and can even be useful, if they are constructive, and can understand each other better if they discuss things and express themselves calmly without violence, avoiding insulting each other.

5 stages of love: Stage five: Using “the power of two” to change the world

Including married couples, few couples reach this final stage of the 5 stages of love.

The fifth stage of love is the stage of mature love.

At this stage, partners accept each other; they do not miss the first stage of romance because that would mean to meet a new person.

Each couple has an opportunity to use “the power of two” to solve one of the world’s problems that touch their lives.

Other than the 5 stages of love, there are many types of love.

Tips that might help you to save your relationship

To keep your relationship, you should:

  • Compare your love languages
  • Identify your top needs to be aware and to satisfy them or to support your partner in his/her needs satisfaction (sure if you both accept them),
  • Be friends,
  • Make your partner a priority (find time for each other),
  • Do novel things together, have adventures,
  • Ask what you can do for the partner, try to help or to please your partner,
  • Touch more; just cuddling is enough to get oxytocin, which strengthens your bond, reduces stresses, 
  • Accept what you can not change, this will save you from some stresses,
  • Go to couples therapy.

Recommended books

  1. Erich Fromm “The Art of Loving”
  2. HFNE
  3. HFNE “I don’t care about anything.”
  4. Jed Diamond “The Enlightened Marriage: The 5 Transformative Stages of Relationships and Why the Best Is Still to Come”
  5. Love Cycles: Mastering the Five Essential Stages of Love
  6. The Five Stages of Falling in Love
  7. 5 Stages of Love: From Personal Development to Deeper and Longer Lasting Relationships: relationship 1

FAQs about 5 stages of love

What are the seven stages of love?

The seven stages of love are: 

– Acquaintanceship,

– Companionship,

– Friendship,

– Intimate friendship,

– Sensual intimacy,

– Sexual/creative lovers,

– Spiritual life partners.

What are the steps of love?

The steps or stages or phases of love are:

– Falling in love,

– Becoming a couple,

– Disillusionment,

– Creating real, stable love,

– Unconditional love, using the power of two to change the world.

How do men fall in love stages?

The stages of how a man falls in love are:

– Stage 1: Appreciation – This is when a man meets a woman and focuses on her physical appearance,

– Stage 2: Infatuation – This assumes that the man starts pursuing the woman, 

– Stage 3: Attraction – At this stage, men do their best to attract the woman

– Stage 4: Impression – this stage is similar to the previous one but is more intense,

– Stage 5: Conviction – Men want to get more serious in the relationship, and they wonder if the woman wants it too,

– Stage 6: Reaffirmation – After making the woman to fall in love with them, the man makes a short break to be sure if it is real, as well as to weigh out the pros and cons of their relationship,

– Stage 7: Commitment – Men decide to stay with the women, and they think it can work for them.

What is the natural progression of a relationship?

The natural progression of a relationship is:

– Interest and attraction,

– Infatuation and falling in love,

– The comfort zone,

– Mature love.

How soon is too soon to say I love you?

Less than three months is too soon to say I love you. Sure it depends on relationships and people.

But some people say “I love you” without giving much importance to these words.

So anyway, you should not hurry so you don’t scare your crush.

It is recommended trying to figure out what means love for the person; it is essential and is a way to know about your compatibility.

How will you know if a guy loves you?

You will know a guy loves you by:

– He can’t stop looking at you (not a look of desire but the look of a wonder that you exist),

– He wants to give you everything he has, wants to share all with you,

– He treats you like a priority, even when he is busy, he finds a minute to call or text you,

– He wants to be a part of your life,

– He notices things in you that others do not,

– He cares about your happiness as much as about his own,

– He misses you when you are apart, and does not want to be separated,

– He does not leave you unaware and informs about what he is up to, not because he feels he has to do that, but because he wants so,

– He is always there for you, 

– He does not give up and does everything possible to save the relationship,

– If a guy loves you, you and your surroundings feel and know about it.

Side Note: I have tried and tested various products and services to help with my anxiety and depression. See my top recommendations here, as well as a full list of all products and services our team has tested for various mental health conditions and general wellness.

Conclusion

In this brief guide we discussed the 5 stages of love, we learnt that if people genuinely love each other and struggle to save and develop their love, they pass all the stages including the third stage of disillusionment, and after that they have an opportunity to reach the fifth stage of unconditional love and to use the power of two to make positive changes in the world. 

Please feel free to comment on the content or ask any questions in the comments section below.

What we recommend for Relationship & LGBTQ issues

Relationship counselling

  • If you are having relationship issues or maybe you are in an abusive relationship then relationship counselling could be your first point of call. Relationship counselling could be undertaken by just you, it does not require more than one person.

LGBTQ issues

If you are dealing with LGBTQ issues then LGBTQ counselling may be a great option for you. Maybe you are confused as to your role and identity or simply need someone to speak to. LGBTQ counsellors are specially trained to assist you in this regard.


References

  1. The five stages of a relationship
  2. What are the five stages of love?
  3. Why too many stop at stage three?

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