7 Stages of breakup for the dumper

In this blog we present to you the various stages of break up for a female dumper. 

7 Stages of breakup for the dumper

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According to Michele Kelsey, a contributor for HerNorm, there are 7 distinct stages of break up for a female dumper- your girlfriend who initiated the break up.

Let us take a look at the various stages of the break up the dumper goes through:

Dissatisfaction

Months or weeks prior to the break up, your girlfriend goes through a stage of dissatisfaction within the relationship where they feel like their needs are not being met and their partner is not exactly what they expected the person to be. 

At this stage, your girlfriend might try to make things work and even communicate their dissatisfaction to their partner. In positive cases, the couple will have open communication and work through their problems together. 

However, if your girlfriend does not acknowledge their concerns and there is lack of authenticity within the relationship, it is likely that your girlfriend will continue to feel dissatisfied in the relationship.

As the dissatisfaction sets in, your girlfriend might stop trying to fix the problem by communicating and expressing themselves. Instead they will simply stop trying to make the relationship work and remain silent about what they are going through.

Seeking out advice

It is very likely that once they have been noticing some dissatisfaction within the realtionship, they will seek out advice from friends and family regarding what she should do with the realtionship. 

Some of the advice that she gains from her trusted circle will mostly inform her decisions as a result of which her strategy for breaking up with you will be created and in some cases, her friends might also be supporting her throughout her plans to break up.

Anxiety

As your girlfriend becomes more clear about their plans to break up, they might experience some anxiety related to it. 

They may even feel some numbness as to what they are feeling while also over analysing and second guessing their plan of action. 

At this stage, your girlfriend is often nervous, upset, or strange- they behave in ways they don’t normally do- for example, an attentive girlfriend might suddenly start avoiding you or start being less empathetic. 

At this stage, your girlfriend may feel concerned as they try to come up with the best way to end the relationship and they might work themselves into a frenzy, even becoming depressed just thinking about the break up and the loss they will feel. 

They might also struggle with guilt of having to do this and try their best to soften the blow or they might choose to be rigid, cold even, as they try to get into the phase of the actual break up.

It is soon after this stage that the break up happens, and it is usually a result of the time they have spent thinking over this situation and in such a case, the break up is often final. 

Relief

It is at this stage, your girlfriend might make moves that they have been holding back for a After the break up, your ex- girlfriend feels a sense of relief- that everything is over. Your ex might probably even feel lighter and happier that the relationship has ended. 

The female dumper might feel like an enormous weight has been lifted off their shoulders and they might be glad that they don’t have to carry around the weight of their distress while being in this relationship any more. 

Sympathy

Next, after the break up they will also be weighed by guilt especially if they know that you will probably have a hard time about the breakup or if they are aware that you are struggling with the break up. 

They might feel guilty and sad about how this choice is affecting you even though they are aware that this is the best choice for them. 

The love that you once shared does not completely disappear just because you break up and this means that it is probable that they might even be wondering how things would have turned out if the relationship continued. 

The female dumper might be able to sympathise with you especially when you are overly zealous in expressing your hurt and it is possible that your ex might even entertain you late night calls because they sympathise with your hurt.

However, just because they sympathise does not mean they have any intention of getting back together- especially when the relationship has been deteriorating for a long time according to them.

Doubt

Depending on how you react and how they are adjusting to their new singlehood, there will be moments when the female  dumper will regret their decision or doubt their choice to break up. 

This often happens when they are having a hard time adjusting to a new life without you or when they face a lot of backlash as a result of the break up.

During this time, they might doubt their choice to break up however, this is often fleeting. As they get acquainted with the changes it is likely that they will affirm their decision and move forward. 

Nostalgia

After some time, maybe a month or two, after the initial shock of the break up has settled down and the changes they have made have become more evenly paced out, it is possible that the entire experience will hit them now. 

It is at this time, the female dumper will recall the times shared between the two of you- however you have to understand that there is no set time when someone will feel this way.

Your ex might take months to years before they feel a sense of nostalgia and start to miss you and this time line depends on how hurt they were during the relationship. 

For example, if the dissatisfaction was enormous to the point that female dumper were hurt deeply by the relationship, it is possible that it might take them years to feel any sense of positive nostalgia for you or the memories that were shared.

You have to understand that even if female dumper have some sense of nostalgia it does not mean that they still love you, it is simply the common human experience of looking back and cherishing old memories.

Acceptance

The first kind of acceptance that female dumper might feel post a break up often comes in the form of surrender and the acceptance of one’s defeat.

Here, this acceptance means that they stop engaging in the push and pull of nostalgia. The female dumper might stop going through old mail, delete photographs, start a new social media page etc. 

In this stage they will come to terms with their final decision and begin to actively make changes in their life that was once tied to you. 

At this point the female dumper might recognize that they are not meant to be with you as a partner and so, they let go of you as their partner as well as the dreams and hopes they had for the future they envisioned with you. 

Over time and with effort, their initial form of acceptance begins to develop into something more of a conscious choice as they realise that holding onto you as a romantic partner is not good for them. 

So this form of acceptance is the starting point of them moving forward and taking steps to carry on with their life, on their own terms, and for themselves- here the female dumper might start seeing other people and joining new social circles and start a new life for themselves..

Conclusion

In this blog we presented to you the various stages of break up for a dumper. According to Michele Kelsey, a contributor for HerNorm, there are 7 distinct stages of break up for the dumper- the person who initiates the break up.

Each individual who initiated the breakup goes through each stage at different rates depending on how they were affected by the relationship and the break up.

FAQ related to Stages of break up for female dumper

What is the mind of a female dumper going through after a break up?

The female dumper might feel like an enormous weight has been lifted off their shoulders and they might be glad that they don’t have to carry around the weight of their distress while being in this relationship any more. 

How long does it take for the dumper to regret breaking up?

Depending on how intense the realtionship was, how dissatsified they were in the relationship, and the context of the realtionship itself, the time it takes for the dumper to regret the break up differs from a month up to several months. 

What dumper feels during no contact?

Dumpers during no contact period might feel reflief, sumpathy, as well as doubt about their decision. Depending on how you react and how they are adjusting to their new singlehood, there will be moments when the female  dumper will regret their decision or doubt their choice to break up. 

This often happens when they are having a hard time adjusting to a new life without you or when they face a lot of backlash as a result of the break up.

Do dumpers have remorse?

 Depending on how you react and how they are adjusting to their new singlehood, there will be moments when the female dumper will regret their decision or doubt their choice to break up. After the break up they will also be weighed by guilt especially if they know that you will probably have a hard time about the breakup or if they are aware that you are struggling with the break up. 

References

Kelsey. M. 9 Stages Of A Breakup For The Dumper (The Surprising Truth). Her norm. Retrieved on 3rd April 2022. https://hernorm.com/stages-of-a-breakup-for-the-dumper/

Fascinating Truth About the Breakup Stages of the Dumper — Flirtivate. Good Men Project. Retrieved on 3rd April 2022. https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/fascinating-truth-about-the-breakup-stages-of-the-dumper-flirtivate/

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