Split Attraction Model (A guide)
In this brief article, we’ll describe the “Split Attraction Model” and what is attraction.
Then we’ll describe the history of it. Later we’ll differentiate between asexuals and aromantics.
Then finally, we’ll highlight the split attraction model and LGBT.
WHAT IS ATTRACTION:
Attraction refers to the feeling of likings towards a person, animal or inanimate things.
When we are attracted to someone or something, we try our best to make them ours.
Liking is the fundamental nature of human beings, we like some things and we don’t like other things but the extra attention towards a person or a thing can lead to the attraction which is more than just liking.
If the attraction is referred towards a person then it’s generally sexually oriented.
And if we are attracted by other people, it increases our confidence and self-esteem.
We feel wanted and we want and try to stick to that feeling forever as it gives us mental satisfaction.
It is therefore liked towards the positive psyche of an individual.
SPLIT ATTRACTION MODEL:
The Split Attraction Model (SAM) means that the people’s attraction can be split into different components, like “sexual”, “romantic”, “platonic”, “sensual”, and so on.
According to the Split Attraction model, there are two kinds of attraction, sexual and romantic attraction. Well both of them seem to be similar but they are not.
It’s normal for people to have romantic and/or sexual orientation towards the same gender, opposite gender, both the genders or no gender at all.
For some people, it’s very easy to demonstrate the attraction, they either are attracted to people or they’re not, but for some, it’s not that simple and attraction has a middle area and that area is known as Split Attraction Model.
This Split Attraction Model (SAM) theory has been derived from the asexual community, who think that there is a difference between sexual and romantic attraction and both are two very different concepts.
According to this model, people can experience sexual and romantic attraction very differently.
Not everyone is sexual but they can be romantic and therefore, individuals who are asexual are benefitted with this model.
The main purpose of this model is to help individuals understand better about themselves and to let others know about it.
The model also can help members of a potentially marginalized group feel a stronger sense of community.
Well, the idea of sexual and romantic attraction is different has been known for ages but didn’t really have a name for it.
In the 19th century, a german writer named Karl Heinrich Ulrichs brought this idea into the world.
Ulrich defined himself and Ulring, which according to him is men who have sexual desires for other men.
Ulrich defined the nature of love and distinguished between “tender” or “sentimental” love as opposed to “sensual” love.
He believed that men can have a sentimental love for women and at the same time can have sensual love for other men.
He has often cited by the gay rights activists. But his work implications were beyond the LGBT community that is an asexual community.
The emergence of the internet in the 1990s, the awareness of LGBT increased and the concept of asexuality started to become popular.
It is then the understanding of asexuality came into existence and that all can’t be taken under the umbrella of “gay”, “bisexual”, or “transgender”.
There are three types of people, one for whom sexuality in any form is wrong and there are those people who love sex but can’t form a romantic relationship with their partners, and finally, there are people who can form romantic relationships and romantic feelings of attachment to their partners who can be of the same gender or the opposite gender but don’t experience any sexual desire.
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ASEXUALS AND AROMANTICS:
There have been times when asexuals and aromantics have been considered the same and are true in some cases but not entirely and therefore here are some differences to look into:
- Asexuals, as we know now are the individuals who don’t feel sexually attracted, there are times that don’t feel romantic feelings as well for anyone particular, they fulfill their needs with their friends and families.
- There are other asexuals who are utterly romantic and feels that romantic attraction towards their partners either same gender or opposite. That romantic attraction includes the deepest bond and connection with the person but there is not much or nil sexual desire between them.
- Same for aromantics, the people who cannot form romantic relationships are not always good with sexual attraction as well, they sometimes don’t even feel the urge or importance of it. They are just aromantics and asexuals.
- Then there are some aromantics, who are very much and very easily get sexually attracted either for the same gender or for the other gender and they perform sexual acts without any romantic feelings at all.
SPLIT ATTRACTION MODEL AND LGBT:
Are all gays and lesbians considered to be asexuals?
Well, there is a controversy behind it and the majority speaks that yes, all gays and lesbians have been considered as asexual.
Well, we have learned so far that its common to feel sexually attractive for and romantically attractive for the others, and it’s common to feel sexually attractive for both the genders and not romantic attractions, or the other way around.
Here are a few identities within the LGBT communities:
- Asexual homoromantic:
These individuals are considered who do not experience sexual attraction but they do experience romantic attraction to the people of the same gender.
- Bisexual gray-romantic:
These individuals are considered who are sexually attracted to both the males and females but are somewhere in the middle of the romantic and aromantics (the grey area).
- Heterosexual biromantic:
These individuals are considered who experiences sexual attraction only towards the opposite gender but are romantic towards both men and women.
These individuals are considered who experiences less or very infrequent sexual attraction but is romantically attracted to the opposite gender.
Critics suggest that this model creates unnecessary boundaries and distinctions.
Some seem these orientations to be overkill while others label it as offensive.
They also suggest that the model oversexualizes the LGBT community by focusing only on the sexual desire over all the other important elements of a relationship.
Like all the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals, asexuals have often felt misunderstood and almost always disconnected, as they are unable to speak their mind out in open.
The split attraction model at least helps them in making people seeing their feelings as normal and understood in the culture that only focuses on romantic relationships and sex.
It is an individual’s choice to either accept, utilize or reject the model altogether, as its these people only who should be defining their own orientation
In this blog, we’ve described the “Split Attraction Model” and what is attraction. Then we’ve described the history of it.
Later we’ve differentiated between asexuals and aromantics. Then finally, we’ve highlighted the split attraction model and LGBT.
I hope you enjoyed reading. Please feel free to comment below or leave a suggestion. Thank you for your time.
What does it mean to be Demisexual?
Demisexual means a person has a sexual attraction for the other person only after forming a strong emotional connection.
What are the different types of attraction?
There are five types of attraction and those are- sexual attraction, romantic attraction, sensual attraction, aesthetic attraction, and platonic attraction.
What is Greyromantic?
Greyromantic or Grayromantic are the people who are considered to be in the middle of the romantic or aromantic relationships (the grey area)