5 signs that the no contact rule is working?

This article will focus on showing what are the 5 most common signs that the no contact rule is working. Aside from that, the article will explain what the no contact rule is, and how long it usually takes to work.

What are the 5 signs that the no contact rule is working?

If you have gone through a breakup, and you have decided to set the no contact rule, some indicators will help you know that it is working. Here are the 5 most important signs that the no contact rule is working.

You begin to feel better about yourself 

As you have decided to go through the no contact rule, you may have done it as a strategy to heal, or even to try and get your ex back. But at some point, you may even lose track of that end goal.

When the no contact rule is working, you may not just want to impress your ex anymore. You have learned that no relationship is worth getting yourself so torn about. And that the best relationship you will have in your life is with yourself.

Working through that may have taught you what a great person you are. And you might have realized that you don’t need your ex, or any other romantic relationship, to validate who you are. You are filled with self-love, and enjoying taking this time for yourself.

You focus on your self-growth

Rather than obsessing about when and how your ex would come back if you used the no contact rule, you are focusing on all the ways you need to grow. And that is a magnificent sign that the no contact rule is working.

It is not all about getting your ex back. It should be mostly about healing, learning how to deal with sadness, the frustration, and helplessness that being broken up with can bring.

And you know that learning how to deal with these emotions is not only important in a romantic relationship, it is something that will help you through life. So you take on yourself to learn how to handle those emotions, and with time, you will see you may be mastering this, which shows how much you have grown through the no contact period.

You start to notice other people 

Knowing that your ex won’t be the only interesting person in the world is a clear sign that the no contact rule is working. With time you may begin to put yourself out there, and you might begin to realize that, even though there were great things about that other relationship, there are still a lot of people in the world in which you can be interested.

Other people start to notice you 

In the same way, as you decide to put yourself out there, other people may find you interesting. You will begin to care again about how you present yourself in places, and will actively work on meeting new people.

In time, others will also find you interesting, and as those two signs align, you may begin to explore the idea of other relationships. Even if it is a rebound relationship, allowing yourself to experience new things, with new people, is a clear sign that the no contact rule is working.

Your ex will try to make themselves present

And finally, even though sometimes it may not make sense to you anymore, since your life may have moved on, your ex will try to make themselves present in your life once again.

They may have realized that their life would be better with you, that they miss you, or are even curious about what has been going on in your life. Depending on how they are willing to get you back, they can begin to send gifts, call, ask friends about you or even go to a place in which they know they will run into you.

At this point, it may be up to you to decide if you want to open the door of your life to your ex once again. Or if after all this work you have found new and better things in your life, which you are not willing to give up. 

But to help you understand a little more of what the no contact rule is, here is a brief explanation.

What is the no contact rule?

The no contact rule is what happens when a person decides to cut all forms of contact with the other person after they break up. They may not call, stop reaching out through social media and make sure the other person will not have any news on them.

This can often be a technique that is used to make an ex get in touch, and even want to get back with the relationship. 

But it can also be a time for the dumpee to focus on themselves, try to make sense of the breakup, and focus on becoming better, not just so the dumper will come back, but also because they realize that they have the right to be happy, be it in that relationship, in any other that will come in the future, or even alone.

The no contact rule may be a positive coping mechanism since it will allow the dumpee to experience the emotions caused by the breakup, but also give them a chance to rediscover themselves out of that relationship. 

It is a process in which the dumpee redirects their energy away from their ex, and the relationship, but towards themselves, and their self-improvement.

The dumpee should never focus, while going through the no contact period, on making their ex miss them. Even if you want to go back to that relationship, use the no contact time to care for yourself, and if the opportunity comes to think about going into the relationship again, you will be able to do so more wholeheartedly and be better informed.

And even though there is no guarantee that the no contact rule will work, it can take up to a few weeks, or even around three months for the no contact to be perceived, by the dumper, as something they want to break. 

It may take all this time for the dumper to realize that having you as a part of their lives is something that they want, and need. And even though after this time the dumper will want you back, it may be that you have come to realize that you are better off, and that is great. You should allow yourself to be happy the best way you can.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): What are the 5 signs that the no contact rule is working? 

What are the stages of no contact? 

The stages of no contact are similar to the ones that people that are going through grief will go through. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. That is because ending a relationship, and not being in touch with the person you shared so much of your life, with will cause you to go through a grieving process.

When you are in denial you may not believe what has just happened, and at some point, this can turn into anger. It can be anger you will direct at your former partner, or even towards yourself, and feel angry wondering what you could have done to cause the breakup.

When you are bargaining, you may make promises or concessions in the hope of getting the relationship back. You can also experience periods of intense sadness, which is called the phase of depression. 

And at some point, you may begin to feel that you are regaining control of your life, and that means that you are accepting the breakup.

It is important to know that not everyone will go through all the phases and that it is not a linear process, the phases can happen differently for each person.

How can I make it easier going through no contact?

If you are going through no contact, it can be hard to be distant from your former partner. But there are some things you can do. The first one is writing to yourself about how you feel, why the relationship ended, and why it is better to stay away. Reading this will help you when you feel like getting in touch again.

Understanding that this is an emotional period and that you need to let your emotions flow will also help. In the same way, doing things that make you feel good, like self-care activities will surely help you experience some positive emotions. 

Sharing how you feel with friends, and loved ones can also be something that will take some of your load off. If you feel that your last relationship wasn’t such a positive one, going over it, and understanding what caused it to be so difficult can help you do better in the next.

Doing fun things, like a new hobby, and being in new places can surely give you a perspective that there is more to life than dealing with this breakup, or a relationship that wasn’t that positive to you, to begin with.

What are people usually thinking after two weeks of no contact?

After two weeks of no contact, the person that you are no longer in a relationship with will probably be coming to terms with what they have been missing in the relationship. It is the moment in which they will begin to understand the value that the relationship had to them.

And through that, they may begin to think about what they should do. If they should try to rekindle the relationship, or if it is something they should move on from.

What are signs my ex-partner will come back? 

When a partner comes back, they will try to make sure that you are doing well, and they are making the effort of keeping the communication, and connection with you. They will also respect your space.

But ever so often they will talk about how it was when the two of you were together. And finally, they will often say that they are not ready to start dating again.

What are signs my ex-partner won’t come back?

When your partner has ended the relationship, and won’t go back to it again, they will often suggest that you move on. They may have returned your stuff, and have moved on to a committed relationship.

If they are saying that they don’t want to hang out, it is a clear sign that they won’t come back, in the same way, if they don’t make efforts toward you.

Conclusion

This article explained what are the 5 most common signs that the no contact rule is working. Aside from that, it showed what the no contact rule is, and how long it usually takes to work.

If you have any questions or comments about this article feel free to write them in the section below.

References

https://www.bonobology.com/5-signs-the-no-contact-rule-is-working/

https://www.shessinglemag.com/post/5-signs-the-no-contact-rule-is-working

5 Signs The No Contact Rule Is Working (+5 Signs It Isn’t)