Separation anxiety from boyfriend (9 Tips to cope)

This article looks at how separation anxiety from boyfriend effects and how to overcome this anxiety. We also look at what is Separation anxiety and its clinical picture.

Separation anxiety from boyfriend

Everyone agrees that being apart from your beloved one is no fun. Research findings utilizing anecdotes have shown that long-term separation from a boyfriend or girlfriend can increase anxiety and depression and issues such as sleep disorders. Researchers are now establishing the neurobiological processes behind these behavioral and physiological responses.

Separation anxiety is ,genuine and you will potentially suffer anxiety at the prospect of being apart from a beloved one or a partner. Although separation anxiety is a typical phase in the development of an infant, findings have shown that adults suffer from this too.

Physical and emotional signs of separation anxiety entail excessive concern for the significant one, persistent negative thinking, frequent physical problems such as headaches, sleep deprivation, and individuals even report feeling nauseous in certain unusual instances. Some may get really overprotective, and the other individual can feel suffocated by this.

What is Separation anxiety in adults?

Separation anxiety is when one fears being separated from a specific individual, family, or pets. Although many individuals equate separation anxiety with kids, adults may also develop the disorder.

As a consequence of the separation, a person experiences intense anxiety. An individual can also manifest physical symptoms relevant to separation anxiety. This may include:

  • Nausea and sickness
  • Headaches
  • Painful throat

In kids, primarily those less than two years old, separation anxiety frequently arises. At this moment, a child does not yet realize that they are always close and returning when a parent leaves elsewhere.

An individual with separation anxiety as an adult may often have had the disorder as a kid. Only in adulthood may others perceive it.

The diagnostic manual for mental health disorders of the American Psychiatric Association, the DSM-5, describes separation anxiety as when an individual has any of the symptoms listed:

  • Abnormal anxiety over being separated from an individual or pet
  • Extreme concern that if they abandon them behind, another person would be hurt
  • Increasing fear of being alone

When they realize that they will shortly be separated from another individual: physical symptoms

  • Excessive anxiety over being alone
  • It is essential to know at all moments where a spouse or loved one would be

In adults, such symptoms will last for six months or longer. They may experience severe distress from their symptoms that impair their social, professional, or educational performance.

According to an article published in the journal Personality and Mental Wellbeing, people with OCD are more prone to developing separation anxiety as an adult.

There are also other co-existing problems for people with separation anxiety, such as specific phobias, panic attacks, or agoraphobia (fear of going outdoors).

Some risk factors, in addition to pre-existing mental health problems, for separation anxiety, involve:

  • Being a woman
  • Unpleasantness during adolescence, such as the loss of a family member
  • History of stressful childhood incidents, such as violence

A major life shift, such as a separation or a child away from home and attending college, may cause a person to experience anxiety about adult separation.

By talking about the symptoms a person is having, a doctor can diagnose separation anxiety. The requirements, including those used in the new DSM-5 to identify separation anxiety in adults, would be used by a mental health professional.

Healthcare professionals generally treat separation anxiety through psychotherapy.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

This treatment aims to teach a person to recognize their thoughts and actions that make their anxiety about separation more challenging. Parents may also teach extra parenting strategies that can decrease their separation anxiety. Often, group therapy and family therapy may help a person.


Physicians can also briefly administer anti-anxiety medications to support a person during their most intense signs of separation anxiety. But these medications are not necessarily long-term remedies to the underlying illness, and certain forms of medication for anti-anxiety may be addictive.

To minimize the occurrence of separation anxiety, a person can participate in counseling to start improving their patterns of thinking.

Support Groups 

For those with anxiety and separation anxiety, an individual may also want to discover a support group. People joining these groups will obtain assistance with trying to learn strategies to minimize anxiety related to separation.

How does it develop in Adults?

Separation anxiety is usually relatively easy to detect when serious. Adults with extreme separation anxiety appear to have an inappropriate connection to an individual they are attached to, and once they have to detach from another individual, they feel intense panic and anxiety. Yet, the symptoms may not be quite as noticeable in less extreme cases of separation anxiety. Such symptoms of ASA that are less evident are:

  • Excessive Jealousy 

In relationships, adults with separation anxiety can show signs of jealousy. What induces those with ASA to feel envy is also a dread of separation. This is particularly true if depressive feelings are followed by envy, such as a fear of being alone or unreasonable worries about extramarital affairs.

  • Over Stringent Parenting

There is some proof that highly strict and controlling parents can even have trouble with separation anxiety. Parents may be quite worried that their kid will abandon them eventually, often known as reverse-separation anxiety, that they attempt to monitor the child’s life as much as possible.

  • Trapped in Relationships 

The manner adults handle their relationships is yet another way that separation anxiety can present itself. Whether romantic, family, or friendly relationships, and friendships and sometimes family relationships, even though highly dysfunctional (emotionally, physically), many with ASA strive to sustain the relationship out of apprehension of being alone.

  • Leeching 

Those who “leach” away from their parents long into adulthood, or those who have never had to exit the homes of their mates, can in some form experience separation anxiety.

Tips for Dealing with Separation anxiety

  • Separation is temporary

Regardless of how long you and your beloved one must be apart, reminding yourself of the brief existence of separation is extremely useful. It’sIt’s going to stop. If you’re dealing with a shorter amount of time away, this may be simpler to handle with so if you have a long split ahead, consider breaking it down into manageable phases to help you cope effectively. A persistent aspect of life is still confusion.

  • Communicate your feelings to your partner

Don’tDon’t fight the separation anxiety issues yourself. This is indeed a perfect time to introduce your thoughts to your partner. It’sIt’s essential your partner understands that throughout the period separated; you might need some additional love and care.

They will then be conscious, maybe more frequently checking in or just being more attentive to your emotions and desires.

  • It’s OK to feel sad.

Letting yourself feel sad is OK. Enduring and dealing with your thoughts often helps you to manage them. Do you understand what they mean that a “good cry” can be therapeutic? This is completely real.

Only let it all out. Allow yourself to feel bad.

  • Do activities you like

Or perhaps you can do something which makes you feel closer to your partner at the same time and cope with the fear of separation.

You can select and create your favorite pictures of you and your partner by placing them in scrapbooks or displaying them at home. When you spend creative energy, you’ll be dreaming of them. This exercise will leave you feeling pleasant inside and comfortable, and lead to feelings of achievement that will significantly lower some of your anxiety.

  • Make sure to both mentally and physically active.

Physical exercise may be helpful to relieve separation anxiety symptoms in adults or just general anxiety.  We recommend the Peloton Ride.

Commit to that while your partner is working if you have a daily workout routine. Or, if you’re the one moving down, attempt to find time in your day for body exertion.

Honestly, remaining involved and being occupied helps the time go by quicker, so before you fully know it, the split will be over.

  • Talk about how both of you are going to communicate.

Not having an appropriate communication strategy is one problem that could lead to your relationship separation anxiety.

It is essential to have these talks even before separation even starts. Not only can it guarantee that you both have acceptable goals in position, but a secondary cause of anxiety may also be removed.

Make sure both of you will be dedicated to your plan of contact. Daily, speaking or texting at the very same time may be useful, but that’s not always feasible.

With each other, be rational and fair.

And be versatile as well. Remember that things come up at times, and contact can be interrupted. Know that your partner has the best of intentions, and if your interaction varies or does not occur on a specific day, don’t flip out or spiral out.

  • Do something valuable for each other.

Not only does having time apart offer you some leisure time, but it also allows you the ability to gain insight into your relationship. I can’t think of a perfect time to sit and write your affection in a written letter. This is a popular pastime. 

Writing is safe and soothing, but when you write as to what you appreciate about your partner, you’ll feel incredibly anchored. Offer it to them once they get back and observe their hearts well up with appreciation.

  • Other relationships are meaningful too.

Don’tDon’t neglect your other significant relationships in life: your siblings, your parents, your buddies, or even your kids. You may feel very sad to be split for an amount of time from your partner. However, there are hundreds of other individuals who will still love to spend some time with you.

  • Make your reunion special.

When, after being separated, you and your beloved one see each other again, it’s a time for celebration. So rather than fretting about the prolonged absence from each other, you reunite, settle on doing something lovely and memorable.

Attempt to live in the present no matter what you want and enjoy the happiness of being back together. After all, the separation does one correct thing: it renders the meeting so much wonderful.

Many people also believe in the Crystal Healing Theory to treat anxiety which proved to be useful. Check the Best Crystals and Stones for groundind anxiety and panic attacks. They will look like precious jewelry.

BetterHelp: A Better Alternative

Those who are seeking therapy online may also be interested in BetterHelp. BetterHelp offers plenty of formats of therapy, ranging from live chats, live audio sessions and live video sessions. In addition, unlimited messaging through texting, audio messages and even video messages are available here.

BetterHelp also offers couples therapy and therapy for teenagers in its platform. Furthermore, group sessions can also be found in this platform, covering more than twenty different topics related to mental health and mental illness. The pricing of BetterHelp is also pretty cost-effective, especially considering the fact that the platform offers financial aid to most users.


This article looked at how separation anxiety from a boyfriend affects and how to overcome this anxiety. We also looked at what is Separation anxiety and its clinical picture.

FAQ: Separation anxiety from boyfriend

Is it normal to have separation anxiety from a boyfriend?

Separation anxiety is genuine, and you will potentially suffer from anxiety at the prospect of becoming separated from a loved one or a partner, as the name implies. Although separation anxiety is a typical phase in the development of an infant, findings have shown that adults struggle from this too.

What triggers separation anxiety?

Risk factors could include life pressures or losses resulting in separation, such as the illness or death of a loved one, death of a cherished pet, parental divorce, or transferring to or attending school. Specific dispositions are more vulnerable than others to anxiety disorders.

Does separation anxiety go away?

Once Separation Anxiety has grown, there is no simple way of fixing the issue. It does not go down by itself, and a real “cure” is often never encountered. But to start to relieve the symptoms, there are several things an individual should do straight away. Anxiety from separation can vary from mild to extreme.

How long does separation anxiety last after a breakup?

Since these feelings can last from six months to two years for adjustment disorders, it is essential to understand the signs and symptoms so that you can seek help and assistance when you need them.


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10 Tips for Dealing With Separation Anxiety in Relationships. (n.d.). Retrieved November 21, 2020, from