In this article, we will illustrate the different self-pity symptoms that you can identify within yourself and in others around you.
Self-pity is an over-exaggeration of one’s difficult life situation and troubles. We feel self-pity when we feel that we have endured many hardships in life and that we have a sorrowful life story. It is experienced by those individuals who see their sufferings as extremely sad and sympathy worthy.
Knowing about self-pity symptoms
To be able to identify self-pity symptoms in oneself or others we need to observe the behavior of the person. Here are some behaviors that individuals who indulge in self-pity show:
- Find it hard to laugh at yourself or your life situation
- A tendency to crave drama
- Being socially withdrawn and aloof
- Fixated on your past
- A tendency to crave sympathy from others
- Deal with low self-esteem
- Have a sad perception of self
- Do not see yourself as worthy of love
- Unhealthily self-absorbed
- Feel guilty about your situation
- Have trouble going through life
- Have a pathetic perception of self
- Have a distorted perception of reality
- Having feelings of depression
- You feel trapped in your life
Find it hard to laugh at yourself or your life situation
A prominent symptom of self-pity is that you are unable to see the humor or laugh about yourself or your life situations. You take things very seriously and have a hard time letting loose. You are unable to see the positive side or make fun of the situation you are in. For you, everything in life is to be taken with the utmost seriousness and concern. You have difficulty finding the humor in your life and laugh about it.
A tendency to crave drama
You have a tendency to crave drama and your day to day life situations include something dramatic continuously happening. There is one drama after the other and all of them revolve around you. Fights and arguments are a continuous part of your life and problems are continuously surrounding you. You find yourself to be in a new drama every week and it is all very exhausting for you.
Being socially withdrawn and aloof
Another self-pity symptom is being socially withdrawn and being aloof from loved ones and family. You do not interact much with your friends or family members. You have cut yourself from everyone and stay alone in your bubble. You feel that if you do so you’ll be safe from the problems and troubles in life but just end up cutting off everyone in your social support system. Having someone on whom you can rely and seek comfort is missing from your life.
Fixated on your past
You seem to be stuck or fixated on your past life experiences and the situations you’ve been in. You continuously think about what has happened and find yourself in a continuous loop of going back to what has happened. You need to leave your past behind but every time you try to do that your past tends to catch up with you. You keep replaying your past traumas in life and relive all the sufferings and hardships you have gone through.
A tendency to crave sympathy from others
You have a tendency in you where you crave sympathy from others. Sympathy refers to feeling bad about the other person’s present situation and the struggles they are going through. You feel entitled to the sympathy of others and feel that you have earned the right to feel sympathetic about it. You want others to acknowledge how tough your life is and be validated by others about how much you have struggled. You seek others’ affirmation of your self-pity.
Deal with low self-esteem
If you suspect yourself as having self-pity symptoms you probably have low self-esteem. You see yourself as less fortunate than others and feel that you have missed out on life opportunities. You feel like you are less than adequate because of having to face so many struggles and hardships in life. You have low confidence levels and do not feel that you mount too much in life.
Have a sad perception of self
Because of the self-pity that you feel for yourself, you have a sad perception of your own self. You do not see yourself as a strong, powerful and confident person who is able to deal with their problems effectively. Rather you see yourself as someone who has been in constant distress due to the life struggles and problems. You see yourself as a sad person.
Do not see yourself as worthy of love
Another self-pity symptom is that you do not see yourself as worthy of love from others and yourself. You feel worthless and a person that no one can love or care for. Even if that is not true, you feel like that because you have pushed everyone you love in your life away. You see yourself through a lens of self-doubt and self-pity, making it difficult for you to see what you can offer to others.
For you the whole world revolves around just you and you are the center of everything. You are unhealthy self-absorbed with yourself and have difficulty seeing things beyond your point of view. You feel others’ behaviors are also particularly attacking you and making you the target of their actions. You see the world through your eyes only where everyone is focused on you alone.
Feel guilty about your situation
Your self-pity symptoms also include you feeling guilty about being in the situation you currently are in. You feel that it is because of your worthlessness that you are in this situation. This leads to low self-esteem which further leads to you feeling guilty about yourself. It is important to understand this cycle in order for you to break it. The situation you are in is not your fault but the helpless perception you have regarding it, is your fault.
Have trouble going through life
You have trouble going through everyday life events and find it tough to carry on with everyday chores. You feel overwhelmed by the thought of facing a new day with the load of the problems and troubles you have. You feel weighed down by your situation and getting through each day, every day is a task in itself. Waking every day and going through your daily life’s routine feels like a never ending cycle of sadness and despair.
Have a pathetic perception of self
Along with having a sad perception of yourself, you also have a pathetic perception of self. You understand and recognize the unhealthy pattern of self-pity that you have for yourself and feel pathetic about it. You do not want to play the victim but always find your thoughts indicating and portraying you like that. You hate your thought process and thinking pattern but are unable to break free from it.
Have a distorted perception of reality
When you view the world and yourself in it, you have a distorted image and perception of what reality is. You are unable to differentiate the actions and behaviors of a person from when they are doing something good for you and when they are trying to cause you harm. You feel attacked by others and believe that everyone is out there to cause you harm. You perceive the world as a place of pain and suffering.
Having feelings of depression
With self-pity symptoms come feelings of depression, making you feel sad and unmotivated in life. Many individuals suffer from problems faced by people in depression, like feelings of loneliness and isolation. Persistent feelings of sadness and despair, being hopeless about yourself and your future, and feelings of worthlessness. Along with that you feel helpless in the current situation you are in, and feel like nothing in the future can change your current situation or make it any better.
You feel trapped in your life
Despite your attempts to make a better life for yourself you find yourself being trapped inside the cycle of your life. Where there is nothing but tough situations and difficult choices to be made. You feel like quitting life and have someone take away all the misery along it. You feel like you can not escape the problems that life has to offer and are in a constant state of hopelessness.
Self-pity symptoms relate to you feeling like there is a lot of sorrow in your life and that you feel sad and sorrowful about your situation. But in case you feel that you are unable to get out of the cycle of self-pity you can seek the help of mental health professionals.
In this article, we illustrated the different self-pity symptoms that you can identify within yourself and in others around you.
FAQs: Knowing about self-pity symptoms
How do you know you have self-pity?
You know you have self-pity symptoms when you find it hard to laugh at yourself or your life situations, you tend to crave drama in your life, and also sympathy from others. You tend to focus on your past a lot and have low self-esteem.
Is it OK to have self-pity?
Yes, it is Ok to have self-pity and feel sorrowful for oneself and there is nothing wrong with that. It is natural to feel sorry for oneself when you are going through tough times and are in a bad situation. Self-pity is a form of self-introspection where one can realize and acknowledge the situation you are in. You can assess how difficult the situation is and how it is affecting you mentally.
What does it mean to pity yourself?
Self-pity refers to completely focusing on the problems you are facing and the troubles you are in. When you feel sorry for yourself and the situation you are in. When you are overly sad about your present state you are indulging in the act of self-pity.
How do I stop self-pity?
To stop self-pity you need to learn to be compassionate towards yourself and become aware of the fact that you are indulging in self-pity. You need to refuse to let yourself be a victim of your situation and challenge the situation you are in. Take responsibility for how you view your situation and be courageous enough to turn it around. Acknowledge the good things in your life and notice how fortunate you are.
Why do I have so much self-pity?
You might be having so much self-pity because of a negative perception towards yourself and life along with inactivity to change it. You have become caught up in the downward spiral and need to take action to prevent it from getting worse.
Is self-pity a form of pride?
Self-pity according to John Piper is a sense of pride towards suffering. It is an admiration that we have towards our struggles and difficulties.