How to reduce your pre-engagement anxiety?

This blog answers questions about: How to reduce your pre-engagement anxiety? What are the six common pre-engagement jitters that people might experience? What is Anxiety? What are the signs and symptoms of anxiety? What are the causes of anxiety? What are some ways to manage anxiety? What are the therapy options for anxiety?

How to reduce your pre-engagement anxiety?

Some ways to manage one’s pre-engagement anxiety are:

 Be open about what you want

To reduce one’s anxiety about their engagement one must openly communicate to their partners about their needs for the engagement, this might also involve elements of surprise.

Individuals experiencing anxiety about their engagement must understand that the occasion is about both of them and both of their needs matter.

Hence instead of hesitating about their needs and expectations speaking up about it openly to their partner and other related individuals might help to reduce their anxiety about their engagement.

Here individuals can openly speak about the kind of arrangement they want, then people they want around during the important occasion, the kind of food that they would wish to have, the theme of the engagement, and venue.

Be aware

Many individuals might experience pre-engagement anxiety due to the uncertainty of the flow of events on that particular day.

In such cases, individuals can demand for a list of events that are planned for the special day and be well aware of all the events to avoid the anxiety that is stemming from uncertainty.

Awareness of simple things such as what time the event begins what time the event ends, who are the people that are invited for the event might help people feel much calmer and prepared for the big day.

Compare and despair

People who experience anxiety about their upcoming engagement must not try to compare it to other people’s engagements and special days.

This only leads to a heightened amount of expectations that might be disappointing later on and also leads to extreme anxiety.

In extreme cases comparing one’s special day to that of others might also lead to despair. Dwelling on what other people have and how easy it was to arrive at that point can only make a person feel anxious.

People must understand that every individual situation and challenge is different and comparing them might not be fair or might not lead to any mindful conclusions.

Take it one day at a time

Many individuals might experience pre-engagement anxiety due to the stress individuals hold about crossing their big milestones.

A person might be wondering whether it’s too early or it’s too late for them to get engaged. This idea usually prevails due to the pressure that comes from close relatives, friends, and even social media that portray particular timelines for particular milestones.

Stressing about particular milestones in one’s life is not going to make it an easy journey to achieving it rather it’s going to make it even more challenging leading to mental instability.

Individuals must not stress too much about their engagement even before getting engaged, or stress about the commitments and responsibilities that a wedding might entail even without the wedding date being decided.

Focus on your relationship

Getting engaged and married can be an experience of a lifetime associated with happiness and a positive mood. Feeling anxious about getting engaged to someone you already know and want to spend your life with might be very natural yet needs to be managed.

People must realize that a ring does not change the equation that they have been sharing with their partners all this while rather it is just a symbol of lifetime commitment and love.

Hence people must not ruin their relationship comparing, despairing, or overly dwelling on negative thoughts regarding their engagement or even wedding.

How to reduce your pre-engagement anxiety?

What are the six common pre-engagement jitters that people might experience?

Some jitters that individuals might experience due to pre-engagement anxiety are:

  • Increased awareness about other doings
  • Increased number of fights with the partner
  • Increased levels of agitation and annoyance towards others
  • Worries about getting engaged too soon

Once people are aware of the common jitters that they might experience due to pre-engagement anxiety they can be better equipped to deal with it.

 What is Anxiety?

Problems and resulting stress are usually accompanied by some common emotions like confusion, feeling at the edge, a sense of helplessness, and recurrent negative thoughts which can collectively be seen as an individual experiencing what’s commonly called  Anxiety. 

Every human has their unique ways of dealing with these difficult situations and the following emotions, some try to adapt to the circumstances and find the best and most comfortable solution while others try to find an escape route for the same, in both cases the main aim is usually to get over the uncomfortable emotions of anxiety. 

What are the signs and symptoms of anxiety? 

Anxiety is characterized by a set of signs and symptoms such as:


  • Sweating
  • Difficulty in breathing
  • Shortness of breath
  • Sense of choking
  • Complaints of chest pain
  • Shaking or trembling
  • Nausea or vomiting
  • Dizziness or Lightheadedness
  • Fear of losing control over oneself and their environment
  • Fear of impending doom
  • Hot or cold flashes
  • Tingling or numbness
  • Increased heart rate

These symptoms vary in severity from person to person. However, it is noted that many people experience anxiety attacks that are not significantly displayed.

What are some ways to manage anxiety?

Identify and acknowledge the triggers

The most significant strategy that can be used to control one’s anxiety is by identifying and acknowledging those triggers.

Being able to recognize what makes an individual anxious makes them better equipped to take action.

Relaxation techniques


Even though anxiety can be bought under an individual’s control it cannot be predicted. In such situations, it is necessary that an individual actively carries out relaxation techniques.

These might include meditation, yoga, and deep breathing which helps to reduce the intensity of anxiety within a short period.



A key to reducing the frequency and intensity of anxiety attacks could be spending time with close family and friends.

The kind of emotional and practical support provided by these social and personal groups help the person feel connected and aid in distracting one’s mind from negative and recurring thoughts that lead to anxiety.

Apart from friends and families, individuals can also consider speaking to groups of people that are experiencing similar problems.

Set realistic goals

When an individual is feeling overwhelmed, setting goals and targets keeping in mind priorities can help resolve overwhelming feelings of fear or panic.

Setting goals provides structure and routine to an individual’s life reducing space for uncertainty which can be a major trigger for anxiety in many cases.

Take up new challenges

Apart from doing activities that an individual is usually fond of and has expertise in, trying new and challenging activities that put an individual outside their comfort zone in a healthy manner may help reduce the stress and anger temporarily.

Signing up for new activities also provides a path to meeting people with similar stories and concerns.

Lifestyle changes

An individual’s lifestyle plays a major role in their experience of anxiety. An unhealthy and busy lifestyle usually leads to unhealthy eating, lack of exercise, lack of adequate sleep.

A combination of a well-set diet, exercise, and sleep can help to regulate an individual’s mood and equip them with a favorable coping mechanism.

These coping mechanisms in turn help to get control over once anxiety concerns in a more adaptable manner.

lack of proper diet, sleep, and exercise can make an individual sluggish, dependent, moody and vulnerable to anxiety attacks.

Making journal entries

Last but not least having a journal to write down how a person is feeling and thinking when they are anxious helps them to reflect upon their thoughts and feelings.

Putting down one’s thoughts and feelings onto a paper helps to provide a sense of temporary relief.

In the case of journal entry, a person does not even have to fear being judged by another person regarding their thoughts and feelings.

What are the therapy options for anxiety?

Cognitive-behavioural therapy

Cognitive-behavioural therapy helps an individual to control their anxiety by using strategies like relaxation and breathing. It works on the principles of replacing negative thoughts with positive ones.

Exposure therapy

Exposure therapy is a kind of therapy in which an individual is exposed to a particular stimulus that they usually fear or are anxious about in a graded order.

As and when the individual gets comfortable with the situation or stimulus introduced or exposed to them with each session, individuals get more comfortable with a real-life situation that might have otherwise been a source for triggering anxiety.

Group therapy


It is based on the principle that when an individual interacts with other people who are suffering from the same fears they might not feel left alone or isolated. Group therapy usually involves a group of individuals who are experiencing similar symptoms and problems.


Anxiety can also be treated with the help of medication prescribed by a health care professional.

Though medication alone cannot help in reducing persistent anxiety it can help in restoring a sense of control and bring temporary relief. 

Online therapy  

In cases where reaching out physically to a professional is impossible or discomforting an individual can opt to seek help through the online medium. 

In this, the therapy sessions are carried out one-to-one over a video or audio call. Some individuals also prefer interacting with the therapist through text as well due to various reasons. One of the most common is the fear of being judged by the therapist or some personal hesitation. 

Online therapy can help individuals to regulate some aspects of their anxiety that aids individuals in carrying out a stress-free life over time


Engagement and weddings are crucial milestones in any individual’s life. Even though it is a very special day it might entail high levels of anxiety on the day of the event as well as the days that lead up to it.

Though it is natural, many individuals might experience them at very high levels that might have negative effects on them or other individuals around them.

To avoid any adverse effect individuals must acknowledge and regulate their anxieties in ways that it does not hamper their new relationships.

Frequently asked questions: How to reduce your pre-engagement anxiety?

What is pre-engagement anxiety?

A lot of individuals experience pre-engagement anxiety due to the stress associated with hitting a major milestone. Pre-engagement anxiety involves a sense of anxiousness, stress, and fear related to one’s engagement and also wedding.

Is it normal to have anxiety before getting married?

Experiencing pre-wedding jitters is perfectly normal and a part of everybody’s life when they are approaching this milestone. Nevertheless, individuals must equip themselves with ways to deal with these anxieties.

Should you be excited to get engaged?

Many individuals experience a sense of happiness and excitement when they are about to get engaged. However, it is not mandatory that every individual who’s about to get engaged experience a sense of excitement predominantly.

Is it normal to feel unsure about getting married?

Having doubts about getting married is completely normal and can stem from anxiousness about the marriage and commitments that follow.

However, having persistent doubts about the marriage and feeling a sense of discomfort might be a matter of concern and individuals must revisit their decision mindfully rather than being impulsive about their feelings.


Anxiety is not an excuse?