9 Reasons Why Guys Put You Down(+5 tips)

This article will look at all the reasons why guys put down women they are in a relationship with. The article will also comment on how this affects women and their health throughout this read. Furthermore, the article will explain how to deal with such relationships.

Why Guys Put You Down – 9 Reasons 

Here are 9 reasons why guys put you down:

  • Your Success Makes Them Insecure
  • Independent Women – Still A Taboo?
  • You Are Too Good For Them
  • Control You
  • Desire Something You Have
  • Do Not Want To Deal With You
  • Want To Feel Superior
  • Personality – No Compatibility
  • Not Serious About You

Let us take a look at these reasons in detail!

Your Success Makes Them Insecure

We are still gradually evolving from our old mindsets where it was originally a man’s world and the woman would stay at home and ensure her husband reaps the success he has been working for for so long. She is only an aid with no life or dreams of her own but someone who merely cares for her loving husband and dearly beloved children. 

Although many societies and women as well are progressing from this traditional view of society and gender roles, there are still some individuals out there, men and women, who are against this new way of life. Women may feel insecure because they cannot excel like other women and hence instead of cheering them on they want to pull them back down. However, when it comes to men that do not internalize this new worldview, the reasons may be a bit different.

Men may feel insecure because they consider women as a competition they must deal with and win over because they are naturally inferior especially when it comes to intelligence. This old way of thinking makes them feel panicked and paranoid because they will lose or seem lesser to someone who is naturally born in a way inferior to them. Hence, to avoid this scary outcome where the woman realizes her potential and gets ahead, they put her down so she stays in her ‘rightful’ place!

Independent Women – Still A Taboo?

It would be surprising but independent women are still a taboo in many places around the world. Such women are not only a threat to men because it means they have to raise the bar of impressing and actually providing for women but they have to put up with women who have the potential and right to question their behaviors, actions and ways of navigating through life.

Such women are often considered poor wives or mothers who are focused on their career or contributing to society in some manner. It is actually ironic because it is these very women who are much more efficient and aware of their surroundings and can hence relate more to their husbands and provide a more better upbringing to their children. This is not to say that as a species we need to reconsider our working hours and dedicate more time to family but incorporating more flexibility but to point out that everyone has the right to work and no one can define the other person’s rightful place!

You Are Too Good For Them

Yes your partner has realized you are too good for them and hence they are putting you down in multiple ways because they can’t live with this newfound fact. They are allergic to the idea that someone they are with is better than them in certain things. They not only feel bad in themselves instead of appreciating the beauty and skills the other person possesses but they are afraid of how others may compare them and also come to the conclusion that yes the woman is the better one in this relationship.

Control You

Yes they want to control you and the best way to do that is to break you as a person by constantly putting you down to the extent that you question yourself and your ability to function in a relationship normally. They will hence be in a better position to decide what you do by telling you what is right and wrong. After all, they have already distorted your perception and made you feel incapable of handling things especially in a relationship.

Desire Something You Have

This is a common reason as to why anyone would put you down let alone the person you date. However, when we specifically talk about such relationships where there is love and intimacy, one of the reasons why they would belittle you is because they want something from you. It could be money, some access you have to resources or people or even the sexual side of the relationship. Every person has different motives. However, the best way to achieve them is to make the other person doubt themself to that they hand over their own decision making right to you.

Do Not Want To Deal With You

A person may be afraid of you! They fear you will catch on to the loopholes in their stories or their work. Hence to put some distance between the both of you they adopt a non-likeable attitude where they constantly belittle you! The purpose of this is to keep you away from them. If you try to get close to them for the sake of asking questions or finding out why something went wrong, they will resort to their typical attitude of belittling you and passing negative remarks to get you off their back!

Be watchful of such people! Not only are they adopting a condescending attitude but they may be hiding something important which you need to expose. They might be meddling with work affairs or taking part in something illegal because of which they do not want you around!

When it comes to relationships, this behavior could be adopted mostly because the other person is hiding an affair they are currently in, only using you for a certain reason and hence do not want to talk about the more important aspects of long term relations or because they simply don’t care about you and just want to have fun.

Want To Feel Superior

This is common human nature and it is not only present in men but women too although we fail to observe such patterns probably due to our biased perception of the world around us. However, for the sake of this article we will only consider the ‘biased’ view.

Some men may want to feel superior. Sometimes this feeling is in relation to all those around them or just those who are ‘under’ them. In the case they want to feel superior compared to their coworkers or friends and are unable to then they will likely come home and brush this attitude off on the wife or their partner whom they are currently dating.

Personality – No Compatibility

Sometimes there is no compatibility between two people. They do not agree on many things, they prefer to avoid each other because they don’t find each other interesting and most of all they might not feel the much needed attraction in the relationship. Hence, to deal with the differences it is possible the guy you date may resort to using such a behavior to make themselves feel better or more accepted.

Not Serious About You

Yes if the guy is not serious about you there are a hundred mistakes they will mistake and upset you in so many ways. However, one of those ways is to put you down because they don’t really care about you, your self esteem or feelings. If you tell them you are upset they will likely ignore you or tell you to deal with it yourself.

The right guy who is serious about you will not only care about you but ensure that your concerns are taken care of and you feel comfortable, satisfied and safe in the relationship. He will also go out of the way to ensure the relationship is working and progressing.

How To Deal With The Situation?

You can take the following steps to deal with the situation:

  • Work on the relationship by improving communication
  • Share how you feel
  • Confront the other person on their behavior
  • Keep a diary to monitor their demeaning behavior
  • Be clear about what you want 
  • Improve your behavior too


This article looked at 9 reasons why guys put you down and included different reasons such as them being insecure, wanting to have more control, not wanting to deal with you or the taboo of independent women. Furthermore, the article pointed out how women can deal with situations like these!



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