Pushing people away psychology (Why)

In this brief article, we will be discussing pushing people away in psychology, the meaning of pushing people away in psychology, how to deal with people pushing people away according to psychology, and more information about pushing people away in psychology.

Pushing People Away: Psychology Behind it

Pushing People Away is a psychological manifestation of feeling Lonely sometimes, because according to theories in psychology, Loneliness can have a devastating impact on both our mental and physical health. Pushing people away is a psychologically detrimental habit one might develop when the person is lonely even though they might actually create very satisfying personal or social connections with others generally.

Causes of pushing people away according to psychology

You might be the kind of person who has been trying to push people away whether it’s in the friendship or a romantic relationship.

You might have the need for affection when you are trying to push people away.

In this struggling time, it’s not right that you will just push people away since they might be the only ones who can make sure you feel less alone in this trying time.

The following are the reasons why you push people away according to experts in psychology.

You’ve Been Hurt Before Which Triggers the Behaviour

Your hesitation in dealing with relationships again is normal for people who went through something traumatic in the relationship.

You might find yourself with this behaviour due to the toxic relationship you have been through in your life. 

This experience might make you less likely to open up to other people. The healing from this experience typically takes time. 

You need to be compassionate about yourself and feel happy that you are still trying to adapt to the world around you.

You should also try to talk to people even if they are just small talk or some errands you want to talk about to other people. 

When you are more comfortable, you can start talking about some experiences that might have brought you discomfort in social relationships.

You Feel Like A Burden To The People You Meet 

You may push people away since you believe that you not worth other people’s time. This attitude can lead to low self-esteem and kindness to oneself

There is also a possibility that you are going through other mental health complications which might make you have low self-esteem in meeting new people.

For instance, you might have depression which leads you to feel that you are not worthy and would try anything to keep people out of your life.

You can alleviate this attitude by writing some notes that are good about yourself.

After all, the knowledge that you are good will make you believe that you are good and not all that negative.

You’re Drained

You have the desire to have a close friend or partner but you are reluctant to meet this desire due to your fatigue that might have been accompanied by negative relationships early in life.

You might feel like your whole experience has already told you that you are not meant to have good relationships and you will only be expecting bad things to happen in your current relationships.

You shouldn’t give up easily just because you have enough bad moments in relationships that they become normal.

Relationships always require work and that work can start with you when you are ready to deal with people you are having relationships with.

You’re Realizing What You Want In Life

We tend to have a habit of letting in the wrong people in our lives due to our need for a relationship.

You might find out in the further periods of the relationship that you and your chosen people don’t really have the same interests.

This would lead to great disappointment in your part and may lead you to push people away from you.

You might even start ignoring them if they were texting you or chatting you due to your inner disappointment.

This doesn’t mean that there isn’t anyone that can help you feel compatible with.

You need to realize that there are a lot of people that you can interact with and it is a long road in finding the one you can find compatibility with.

The Timing is Tough In Your Case

There will always be distractions when you are going through a good relationship that you have just found.

You might find yourself dealing with family complications and work complications which can minimize interactions and leading you to push people away from you because you are busy.

Although some people would find this situation as understanding, it becomes your misfortune if you realize that the person is not very understanding about your cause.

This can lead to decline relationships altogether due to a generalization that all relationships are not understanding one’s personal life.

You shouldn’t make this relationship bring you down due to a lack of understanding.

You deserve to have some who is understanding about your cause and you need to be patient once you find this person.

How to stop pushing people away according to psychology?

The following are some tips that you can do to stop this kind of negative behaviour in your life.

Taking a time-out from the hardships

Some people would say that they feel better when they get a chance to take some time for themselves to socialize with other people.

With this time, you can do the following which can help you minimize this negative behaviour:

  • Connect with yourself in your personal time
  • Assess relationships
  • Distinguish the quality of energy you experience both as a giver and receiver within the current relationship you are facing
  • Ask yourself questions such as  (Is this how I want it to continue?), (Ideally, what do I want to experience?) and so on to help you analyze the quality of your relationships

You can also find that you have the time to yourself can help other people around you as well.

You will find that your negativity might be affecting other people and you need to get away for a while until you are ready.

This can help you and others get better from the toxicity of the attitude and the relationship.

Practice Affirmations

You can also try the following affirmations to help you get a positive attitude towards people and help you socialize:

  • (I am enough.)
  • (I am worthy of accepting good into my life.)
  • (It is safe for me to love and be loved.)
  • (I can take good care of myself.)
  • (I am stronger when I am happy and well-cared-for.)


  • Inner child work for meditation

You need to try talking to the child version of yourself in your personal time as a form of meditation.

This can help you find the strength and courage that can help you deal with any complication in your adult life.

You can do this by using a picture of yourself when you were a child and talk to this child version of your self.

  • Accepting good into your life as a form of meditation

You need to list all the good things that have happened in your life.

This can range from the relationships you have earned and the little achievements that you have earned in this life.

This can help you feel more capable of dealing with the negative occurrences in your life which will make you feel hopeless if you don’t think about the little good things in your life.

You need to do this routine regularly so that you are more likely to retain the good things that you have received in your life even if they were just little things.

Giving up the benefits of pushing people away

There are also advantages that occur when you engage in this somewhat negative behaviour in life such as the following:

  • You don’t have to be vulnerable which can be uncomfortable when you are so used to being closed off
  • Some people will give you a lot of attention and respect if you’re high maintenance or hard to please as most affected people have reported
  • You don’t need to commit fully to anyone which lets you keep a lot of options open and this can feel like freedom when looking through relationships
  • You get to keep your stories of being broken and unworthy which are comfortable for you. It’s easier to accept an average life than go through the risk and possible disappointment of believing you could have more and really trying to get it in your almost impossible to live life.
  • You can keep a partner who is a rescuer or fixer interested in you which can be good in your relationship.

When you want to get close to people, you have to get used to leaving these advantages.

The main point of doing this behaviour is to keep you secured from the bad people in the world. 

You are more likely to regulate yourself and leaving no room for disappointment.

However, this is not a behaviour that can make a good life for you.

Yes, the feeling of being intimate with someone will make you emotionally vulnerable which can lead to pain when done deeply.

Despite this risk, you will still feel the gratification of being connected with someone.

In this case, you are free to choose if you want to keep this negative behaviour or be more intimate with other people.

These choices have the same amount of benefits but only one is worth it in the long-term which is the presence of connection. 

When you have observed that you are more uncomfortable about having no one beside you, you need to start learning some healthy behaviours to get you a companion for your psychological welfare.

Dealing with this behaviour within the relationship

You need to display behaviours that will show that you need your partner for more than just a way to fix you.

You can do this by giving them positive affirmations which can also make them feel better about yourself. 

You need to show that you are still interested in your romantic partner.

You should also try to open up to them a bit more since they appreciate this gesture and it shows that you are looking at the partner as an intimate partner.


In this brief article, we have discussed pushing people away in psychology, the meaning of pushing people away in psychology, how to deal with people pushing people away according to psychology, and more information about pushing people away in psychology.

If you have any questions about pushing people away in psychology, please let us know and the team will gladly answer your questions.

FAQs: pushing people away psychology

Why do I push away the person I love?

You push away the person you love because you don’t know what you really want.

You might have the habit of convincing yourself that everyone else wants for you is the love you can get.

You might even think that you don’t deserve the person you love.

What do you call someone who pushes people away?

You call someone who pushes people away as someone who has the abandoned child syndrome.

This kind of syndrome can make affected people go away from people who are in environments that are filled with social activities. 

What to do when someone is pushing you away?

When someone is pushing you away, you need to give that person and yourself some space, continue to live your life as you typically do, do not chase that person up at all, and you need to do some reflecting and see if there’s anything you may have actually said or done to trigger that person to push you away. 

How do you tell if someone is pushing you away?

You can tell if someone is pushing you away by observing that the person is not communicating with you, the person is not giving you affection, this person will prevent having a social interaction with you, you feel different with this kind of person, and the person does things to sabotage the relationship between you and the person. 

Why do I push every girl away?

You push every girl away because you have low self-esteem and you are already expecting rejection in the relationship.

The fear of rejection can overpower your need for intimacy which brings you to push girls away. 


Supportive. Why Do I Push People Away? How To Stop For coronavirus’s Sake.

UPJourney. Why Do I Push People Away and How to Stop It, According to 8 Experts.

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