Pre-wedding depression (+how to deal)

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Page last updated: 10/11/2022

This article will discuss what Pre-wedding depression is. Along with that, the article will explain what can cause people to develop Pre-wedding depression, and what are ways people can cope with it.

What is Pre-wedding depression?

Pre-wedding depression is not a clinical condition. It is not a form of depression, but rather a feeling that people can experience before they get married. It is somewhat related to the wedding jitters, but perhaps it may be a severe form of it.

It can be that overwhelming feeling brides and grooms experience through the preparation of their wedding. They can be enthusiastic, and happy about it, but as the date approaches, they can experience a rush of negative thoughts. 

The intensity of them can vary, some people may just feel some anxiety due to the proximity of their wedding, while others can start to question themselves if the wedding should happen at all. But this is not a sign that you should call off the wedding, maybe there are just some things you need to talk about before it.

When a person is experiencing Pre-wedding depression, they can feel lonely, even though they have their partner. This can bring many resolved emotions that may need to be discussed. Along with that, it can cause people to feel angry towards themselves, their partner, or the idea of being married for the rest of their lives. 

And it can make the person feel intense sadness, even though everyone around them seems happy, and thinking about the wedding should make them happy, for them, it doesn’t feel like this.

What can cause Pre-wedding depression?

Some things can cause a person to develop Pre-wedding depression. The first thing is stress. Deciding to get married to someone, and organizing the whole event can take too much of people’s thoughts and emotions. It can drain them out of their energy, and often be challenging. 

As the date gets closer, you can feel like it is harder and harder to relax, and when you are completely drained out, the sadness, doubt, and worry can take over, causing you to develop Pre-wedding depression. 

But it can also be caused by negative thoughts. That can happen because you are so stressed about the wedding that there is no more hopeful or positive thing for you to hold on to. This can lead to an “All or Nothing” line of thought. You can start to think your wedding won’t happen, or that you will be a bad partner.

Another important cause of Pre-wedding depression is the fact that by doing so, you will become someone’s wife or husband. You may never have thought that during your lifetime, but now that it is here, you can start to think about what it means to be with someone for the rest of your life, and the responsibilities it brings. 

Trying to answer this view society has of what it means to be a husband or a wife can be overwhelming, and cause you to doubt yourself if you are up for the job. All of this can also be influenced by the view you have on marriage and relationships.

If you have lived through negative experiences with your parents, or even your grandparents, it can make you feel scared about how your experience will be. This can cause you to become so anxious about what is ahead, that you can develop Pre-wedding depression.

How can I handle Pre-wedding depression? 

There are many things you can do as a way to cope with Pre-wedding depression. The first thing to do is accept how you feel. If you focus too much on pushing your feelings away, you can make yourself feel even worse. By letting it pass through you, it can be easier to move forward.

Another thing that can help you is talking to your partner about it. By discussing this you can give them a chance to support and assure you that you are both making the right decision. Along with that, you may also want to find your safe space and people to hope you through this situation.

Having people you can talk to, such as friends and family members will be of great help so you can vent about your concerns. The same is true about having a safe space. You may benefit from having a place that you can feel comfortable in and speak your mind. It can be a friend’s house or other places you feel at home at.

While experiencing Pre-wedding depression, you may realize that some things cause you to feel worse. Try to identify what triggers you. If it is wedding planning, thinking about your life with your partner, or the uncertainty of it all. To try and calm yourself from that, try to act as your gut tells you to.

Through the process of planning the wedding and thinking about your marriage, you can start to talk to a therapist. They will help you look at all that is going on from a different perspective, and allow you to develop strategies to handle the situation. 

The most important thing you might take from therapy and through all this process is understanding that it won’t all be perfect. Understand that your marriage is between you and your partner and that both of you have been together for a while.

You know each other well, don’t try to answer society’s expectation of what your marriage should look like. By distancing yourself from this expectation of perfection, you can try and enjoy this day you have planned.

Pre-wedding depression (+how to deal)

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): What is Pre-wedding depression? 

Is it normal to have doubts before the wedding? 

It is completely normal to have doubts about the wedding, even more so nowadays, when we see so many marriages ending in divorce, and how painful it all can be. You might want to be sure that you are creating a life together with someone that is going to be by your side forever, and because of that, it is common to have doubts. 

What you need to remind yourself of is that you are not jumping into a marriage. You have met this person, you went through a relationship, and for many reasons, when you said yes, or popped the question, you wanted this person to be a part of your life forever.

Marriage will always be an adventure, but you probably chose the right person to be with you in it. Trust your gut and all you have lived with before in that relationship. This will be a way to guarantee yourself on your decision. 

What are signs I am not ready to get married? 

Sometimes people are not ready to get married, and it is okay, as long as they are honest with themselves and the people they are in a relationship with. And when you are not ready to get married, it can be hard for you to compromise. You may be inflexible about your needs and listen to your partner’s needs.

When it is hard for you to listen, or it feels like there is more exploring you want to do, meaning meeting other people. It is a clear sign you are not ready to marry. The same is said if you feel like you can’t be open with your partner, and you keep secrets from them. 

A relationship will most likely not turn into a marriage if you are in it for the wrong reasons. It can be just so you don’t feel lonely, or because of social pressure. You should only enter marriage because you want to build a life with the other person. 

Another reason you are not ready for marriage may be that you are in a relationship where there is constant fighting. That may mean you are not fully aware of yourself and might be picking on others as a way to deal with it. 

Why am I afraid of marriage? 

It is a fact that some people are afraid of marriage. This even has a name. It is called Gamophobia, and it happens mostly to men. It is not just a fear of commitment, it is a condition that can cause a panic attack just by thinking about marriage or a commitment.

This can happen due to your family history. You can have divorced parents, or have a family history of mental illness, especially anxiety. You may also have gone through some experiences in your life that were related to marriage, or commitment, that left a trauma.

To handle this condition you may want to look for professional help. This will help you discover the root of what scares you in a marriage or a commitment. Along with that, putting yourself to testify positive experiences of them may have a good influence on how you feel.

So you can try to be in touch with friends and family members that are in stable, long-term relationships. To allow yourself to see that there is a positive side to having someone by your side. 

What are the red flags about getting married? 

There are some red flags you need to think about once you decide to get married to someone. The first one is to understand if they have boundaries with their family. If they don’t, it might be that they are still depending on their parents for money or assurance. 

This can mean that the two of you will always suffer from meddling in your partner’s family. Another red flag is having communication issues, this can happen if you are discussing money, children, or even religion and traditions. If you both have difficulty reaching an understanding of these topics, marriage may be a constant struggle. 

Another red flag is if you and your partner have trouble dealing with autonomy. This can cause you to have a codependent relationship, in which it is hard to trust the other, and understand the other needs some space.

Why do I want to get married?

If you are thinking about getting married, you should ask yourself why you are doing this. If it is because you want to build a life with someone, with all the work this demands. Or if it is because you want a party, to not be alone, or simply because society asks that of you.

Analyze your thoughts, feelings, and the relationship you are in. Discover how you envision your future, and why this person is an important part of it. 

Conclusion

This article explained what Pre-wedding depression is, along with that, it showed what are the most common signs of it, what can cause people to develop the condition, and what are ways to cope with it.

If you have any questions or comments about this article feel free to write it in the section below. 

References

https://creatrixphotography.com/planning-wedding-depression/
https://www.hindustantimes.com/sex-and-relationships/8-ways-to-beat-pre-wedding-depression-and-anxiety/story-EYbxrUer88aiRQGFBBiJKM_amp.html