PARENTING STYLE (A complete guide)
By
OptimistMinds
As a BetterHelp affiliate, we may receive compensation from BetterHelp if you purchase products or services through the links provided.
Author bio
The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter. The article then gets reviewed by a more senior editorial member. This is someone with extensive knowledge of the subject matter and highly cited published material.
A parenting style is a method of child rearing that an individual employs.
The nature of parenting can be more impactful on the child’s development than the actual amount of time spent with the child.
Developmental psychologists have for quite some time been interested in how parents influence child development.
Be that as it may, finding valid circumstances and logical results that connect between explicit activities of parents and later conduct of childs is not easy.
Children brought up in different situations can later grow up to have amazingly similar personalities.
On the other hand, siblings who share a home and are brought up in a similar domain can grow up to have very different personalities.
Despite these difficulties, specialists have set that there are connections between parenting styles and the impacts each individual style has on children.
These impacts, some suggest, extend into adult conduct.
What Research Says About Parenting Styles
During the mid-1960s, therapist Diana Baumrind conducted a study on more than 100 preschool-age children.
Utilizing natural observation, parent meetings, and other research strategies, she distinguished some significant components of child-rearing.
These components include disciplinary methods, warmth and support, communication styles, and ideals for development and control.
Because of these measurements, Baumrind proposed that most parents show one of three different parenting styles.
Further research by Maccoby and Martin additionally recommended adding a fourth parenting style to those three.
Types of Parenting Styles
The following explores the four parenting styles and the effects that they can have on a child’s development.
Authoritarian Parenting:
One of the three significant styles recognized by Baumrind was the authoritarian style of parenting.
In this style, children are expected to maintain strict standards established by their parents.
The inability to adhere to such rules results in firm punishment. Authoritarian parents do not clarify the thinking behind the rules they set or the actions they take.
Typically, when asked to explain, the parent may answer, “because I said so.”
These parents also are not receptive to their children. They expect their children to avoid making mistakes and follow their rules completely.
Mistakes are harshly punished and their children are regularly left wondering exactly what they did to mess up.
The parents are not warm and supportive, they do not use positive reinforcement, simply punish the children when they do not follow the parent’s orders.
As indicated by Baumrind, these parents are opposed to compromise and expect that their requests are obeyed without question.
Parents who show this style are frequently portrayed as tyrannical.
Despite having such severe rules and standards, they do little to clarify the thinking behind them and expect that their children obey them beyond a shadow of a doubt.
Authoritative Parenting
A second parenting style recognized by Baumrind was the authoritative style.
Like authoritarian parents, those with an authoritative parenting style establish strict expectations and rules that their children are expected to follow.
However, the difference between the two is that authoritative parents are more open and transparent with their children regarding the reasoning behind their rules and choices.
In addition, they are typically warm and supportive of their children.
At the point when their children make a mistake or break a rule, these parents are more supporting and excusing instead of outright rebuffing and punishing the child.
Baumrind proposed that those parents open a conversation regarding expectations and consequences for their children to give feedback and thoughts.
They want their children to be self-assured, socially capable, and self-directed and allow them to develop these skills through the conversations they have.
It is this mix of ideals and support that helps the children develop characteristics, for example, autonomy, restraint, and self-guidance.
Permissive Parenting
The last style distinguished by Baumrind was what is known as the permissive style.
Permissive parents are often alluded to as liberal parents who do not make many requests of their children.
These parents discipline less frequently, if ever, their children since they generally have lesser expectations for their children.
As per Baumrind, permissive parents are more responsive than they are demanding.
They are very lenient and do not set firm rules or boundaries.
Permissive parents are commonly warm, supportive, and transparent with their children, regularly assuming the status of a friend more than that of a parent.
Uninvolved Parenting
Not excluding the three significant styles presented by Baumrind, clinician Eleanor Maccoby and John Martin proposed a fourth style to be added to the three parenting styles.
This fourth is known as uninvolved parenting.
An uninvolved parenting style is portrayed by little to no rules and expectations, low responsiveness, and little to no communication with their children.
While these parents satisfy the child’s fundamental needs, they are commonly isolated from their child’s life.
They may ensure that their children are physically taken care of and have shelter, yet offer little to nothing in the method of guidance, structure, support, or even affection.
In extraordinary cases, these parents may even reject or disregard the needs of their children.
The Impact of Parenting Styles
What impact do these child-rearing styles have on child development?
Researchers have investigated parenting styles even further to try to understand the effects of each parenting style has on children.
Among the discoveries of these studies are:
- Authoritarian child-rearing style by and large lead to children who are loyal and capable; however, they rank lower in overall happiness, social skills, and confidence.
- Authoritative parenting style will in general result in children who are overall happy, skilled, and successful.
- Permissive child-rearing frequently brings about children who rank low in overall happiness and self-guidance. These children are bound to encounter issues with authority, and perform inadequately in school.
- Uninvolved parenting style results in children who will in general have low confidence and are less capable than their peers.
How can it be that authoritative parenting seems to produce such successful children over the other styles?
Authoritative parents are typically seen as sensible, reasonable, and fair so their children are more likely to agree with the decisions that these parents make and are more able to internalize the lessons imparted onto them due to the transparency of their parents.
As opposed to just adhering to the rules in fear to the consequences (as may happen with authoritarian parents), the children of authoritative parents can actually perceive the reasons why the rules placed upon their household exist, comprehend that they are reasonable, and aim to observe these principles to create their own internal respresenatatoin of good versus bad.
The child-rearing styles of individual parents within a family come into play to make an unique mix in the raising of the children.
For instance, a mother may show an authoritarian style while a father tends to employ a permissive style.
This can in some cases lead to blended signals or even circumstances where a child looks for permission from the more lenient parent to get what they want.
To foster a more consistent parenting method between parents, it is helpful that the parents figure out how to collaborate to be on the same page when it comes to parenting matters.
Limitation and Criticisms of Parenting Style Research
There are, in any case, some significant limitations of the parenting style research that has been conducted.
Connections between parenting styles and behaviors depend on correlational research, which is useful for discovering links between factors.
However, it cannot structure authoritative circumstances and see the cause and effects of it directly.
While there is evidence that a specific child-rearing style is connected to a specific example of behavior, other significant factors, for instance, a child’s demeanor can likewise play a significant role.
There is additionally some evidence that a child’s behavior can affect parenting styles.
One study conducted in 2006 found that the parents of childs who showed troublesome behaviors started to display less parental authority after some time.
Such outcomes propose that children might not cause trouble because their parents were excessively lenient but, the parents of troublesome children may abandon attempting to control their children after being unable to have control over what they do.
The scientists have additionally noticed that the correlation between child-rearing styles and behaviors are sometimes very weak.
In numerous cases, the expected results are not what the scientists get.
On top of all that was discussed, it is also important to note that cultural and social factors likewise play a large role in child-rearing styles and child development.
There is no general best way to parent. Every person is different and raise their child the way they feel is best for them.
FAQ’s Questions:
What is the best style of parenting?
Authoritative child-rearing is generally seen as the ideal, though there is no definitive “best” when it comes to parenting.
Authoritarian parents approach their children with openness and empathy.
How does child-rearing styles influence the child?
The way that parents set boundaries and communicate with their child can influence the way a child grows to see the world.
Parental relationships are the basis of all relationships in a way so the method of a parent raising a child can impact how the child treats others later on.
What is helicopter parenting?
Helicopter parenting refers to when a parent is overly involved in their child’s life and inserts themselves in unwanted ways.
They tend to be overprotective and limit the amount of independence the child can have.
For more information about parenting styles, check out these books:
In this book, the authors explore the extent to which our own childhood experiences impact the way we parent our children.
The book details ways to form a deeper understanding of personal life experiences and using them to raise resilient and compassionate children.
This book aims to guide the readers through creating the necessary foundations for loving and secure relationships with their children.
Parent-Child Relations: Context, Research, and Application (3rd Edition)
This book is one of the most comprehensive books available regarding the relationship between parent and child.
The author delves into the historical and cultural contexts of parent-child relations across ages, genders, and stages of life.
The book is dedicated to sharing this information and helping the reader to develop their own strategies for parenting that best fits their family.
This book explores the various styles of parenting that exist nowadays and how to utilize them for raising your own children.
The author strives to explain these specifically in the viewpoint of parenting in the 21st century.
She highlights the importance of having a vision of how your children will develop to better grasp how to employ various parenting techniques.
References:
Take Control of Your Mental Health and Live Your Best Life with BetterHelp Online Therapy
