Nobody understands my depression (5 coping tips)

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In this article, we will look at what to do if nobody understands your depression. We will look at four things to do if nobody understands your depression. The article will also look at how to make someone understand depression. Finally, the article will look at things that people with depression might want others to understand. 

What to do if nobody understands your depression? 

Here are a few things you can do if you feel that nobody understands your depression. 

  • Do not think that they do not love you only because they cannot understand you 
  • Do not take things personally 
  • Protect and take care of yourself 
  • Give importance to those who understand 

Depression is a leading mental health disorder throughout the world. However, given the prevalence, not many understand what depression is and how things work when one is depressed. More than 60 % of people believe that you just need to snap out of depression, basically, they don’t believe in depression. To our hard-luck, most of these people are our loved ones. Those people from whom we long for support and understanding. Having said that it is normal that you feel that nobody understands your depression. You cannot explain something to someone if they have not experienced or been through a similar situation by themselves. It is also very rare to find someone who shows compassion even if they actually do not understand what you are going through. 

Therefore here are a few things you need to remember when you feel nobody understands my depression. 

Do not think that they do not love you only because they cannot understand you 

Family and friends can be difficult. Explaining something to them that they have no idea about can be highly challenging. You try to open yourself up to a family member and explain to them your cycle of depression you are immediately cut off and thrown aback. This hurts you. You start to think that they do not love you anymore. 

While this might be a normal reaction, you need to differentiate between their love and understanding. This distinguishment will help you maintain a relationship with them. Just because someone does not understand what clinical depression is or how mood disorders work., does not mean they do not love you. These are two different things.  There is no connection between the understanding of depression and their love for you. It is just their inability to wrap their brains around the concept of depression. 

This is a typical mix-up that a large number of people who are in emotional pain make. they expect that if an individual loves us, the person in question would need to be there for us, would need to catch wind of our battle, and would need to improve it. They need more than anything for the individual to state, “I’m so heartbroken. I trust you feel better soon.” 

The way that they can’t do that, notwithstanding, doesn’t mean they don’t love us. It simply implies there is an intellectual square, maybe, on their part — a distinction — that keeps them from understanding things past the extent of their experience, and from things they can see, contact, taste, smell, and feel.

Do not take things personally 

It is unimaginably challenging not to take an individual’s absence of reaction or not exactly sympathetic comment actually, however when we fall into this, we part with our power and become prey to others’ assessments of us.

As Don Miguel Ruiz tells in his classic The Four Agreements, “Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally … Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.

Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds.” 

Protect and take care of yourself 

You need to start to take care of yourself and your mindfulness. If you are unable to cope with the people around you and their unwanted comments, you need to protect yourself from those. Avoid having a conversation about your depression with those who do not understand you. You know what you are dealing with is true and actually exists. So it is better to s]maintain distance from people who are unable to understand your depression. 

Side Note: I have tried and tested various products and services to help with my anxiety and depression. See my top recommendations here, as well as a full list of all products and services our team has tested for various mental health conditions and general wellness.

Give importance to those who understand 

In order to deal with depression, it is important that you focus on those who actually understand your situation. You do so my, visiting a mental health therapist. They certainly do understand depression and can also help you fight it. In addition to this, you can also join support groups both online or in person. These support groups are formed by those who are actually dealing with depression and who will actually understand your situation. These are invaluable in offering peer support: perspectives from people in the trenches who can offer key insights on how to deal with the invisible beast.

Focusing on those who understand you, rather than those who do not is always better. It makes you feel you are not alone in the world and hence helps you to fight depression. Not only professionals or self-help groups. But also friends and family who can understand you are important. So keep them close, because they will push you and make you stronger every day to fight. 

How to make someone understand your depression?

  • Communicate effectively 
  • Take them to your therapist 
  • Educate them about depression 

If you feel that nobody understands your depression, here are three things you can do to make them understand.

Communicate effectively 

The way we communicate plays a very important role. If you feel that nobody understands your depression, you need to probably explain them in a detailed manner for them to actually get what you are feeling. Do not give a brief idea of what you are going through. Sit them down and effectively put your feelings and experiences in front of them. Use a kind of language that they will understand. Talk to them in a way that they will understand. 

Explaining what you are going through effectively might actually make them understand your depression. They might for the least sympathize with you. Therefore, the way you communicate might also be a huge factor. 

Take them to your therapist 

If your parents still do not understand or even refuse to understand what you are going through, then you can take them to your therapist or a counselor. Who better than a professional to explain what happened during the depression. A therapist can give them detailed information on what is depression its causes etc. They are basically doctors, so if they have diagnosed you with a disorder it must be true. 

Secondly, you can also have them take you to your support groups. When they see more than one person going through a similar situation, they will eventually understand what you are going through. They will realize that depression is not just a made-up thing, because not all of them in the group can make it up.

This will act as solid evidence, and therefore they might come around sooner or later 

Educate them about depression 

Depression is a mental health disorder. There are various books and papers on it. Ask them to read about depression. Once they find that depression has a biological social and psychological reason to occur, they might get the proof they are looking for. Create as much awareness as you can. Show them talks and speeches. Read out to them about the different cases and research on depression. 

Things that people with depression might want others to understand 

  • It is not something they can snap out of. It is something deeper and embedded than this. 
  • Sometimes their depression can be without an actual reason. They do not have a reason every time they feel depressed. It is just there. 
  • They understand that it is hard for others to watch them suffer and they have no intention to hurt others or make them feel bad about anything. In fact, it is the opposite. They do not want to be a burden on you at all. 
  • It is not the same to be sad and depressed. Depression is way worse than mere sadness. Sadness is something that will go after a few days, but depression stays with you for a longer period of time disrupting your entire life. 
  • They do not choose depression. On the other hand, they want to get out of it but have no idea how to. It is no something that they have willingly chosen. It is not in their hands. 
  • Small achievements to them is a great deal. Given that they are unable to get out of bed even to eat food, if they make it out of the house it is a huge deal. Even if they may seem small or normal to you, it is a great step for those who are depressed. 


In this article, we will look at what to do if nobody understands your depression. We will look at four things to do if nobody understands your depression. The article will also look at how to make someone understand depression. Finally, the article will look at things that people with depression might want others to understand. 

What we recommend for Depression

Professional counselling

If you are suffering from depression then ongoing professional counselling could be your ideal first point of call. Counselling will utilize theories such as Cognitive behavioural therapy which will help you live a more fulfilling life.

FAQs: Nobody understands my depression

How do you explain mental illness to someone who doesn’t understand?

Try to manage your expectations. 
Prepare what you’re going to say. 
Have the support to back you up. 
Ask open questions. 
End the conversation the correct way.

Is it possible to diagnose yourself with depression?

No, you cannot diagnose yourself with depression. Only a mental health professional can do so. However there are certain self-assessment tests for depression, but they cannot be used for self-diagnosis. 

What are the 5 signs of mental illness?

Excessive paranoia, worry, or anxiety.
Long-lasting sadness or irritability.
Extreme changes in moods.
Social withdrawal.
Dramatic changes in eating or sleeping patterns.

What is the #1 Cause of depression? 

There is no one cause for depression. Instead, depression is usually caused due to faulty mood regulation by the brain, genetic vulnerability, stressful life events, medications, and medical problems. It’s believed that several of these forces interact to bring on depression. 


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