What is Narcissistic Victim Mentality? (+5 Ways to cope)
Author bio
The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter. The article then gets reviewed by a more senior editorial member. This is someone with extensive knowledge of the…
In this info-rich post, we will be discussing what Narcissistic Victim Mentality is. We will also be showing you the signs of Narcissistic Victim Mentality and listing ways to cope with this behavioral pattern.
What is Narcissistic Victim Mentality?
The Narcissistic Victim Mentality or the Narcissistic Victim Syndrome is a set of behavioral patterns or actions that come by as a result of being close to a narcissist or living with someone classified as a narcissist for a long period of time.
While the Narcissistic Victim Mentality is not exactly a mental health condition or a diagnosable condition, it still is seen as a visible problem for those who are living with these signs and symptoms.
Signs of Narcissistic Victim Mentality
Narcissistic Victim Mentality or Narcissistic Victim Syndrome is not exactly easy to spot all the time. However, there are certain warning signs through which you can understand if you or someone else is dealing with such a mentality. These warning signs are listed as follows.
Responding to trauma through freezing
One of the most common warning signs of Narcissistic Victim Mentality is the Freeze response to any type of emotional trauma. This type of response is pretty common among those who are dealing with classified narcissists.
In freezing as a response to trauma, the person may physically and emotionally distance themselves from the abuser. The freeze response is often displayed as a means of immediately pacifying the abuser and bringing peace to the situation.
Misunderstanding emotional abuse
Emotional abuse and gas-lighting is one of the trademark techniques which narcissists use in their relationships. The victim may not always understand that the actions are indeed abuse and may misunderstand the abuse to be acts of care and nurture.
The abuse may also not be properly understood even if someone else points them out. This is also cleverly masked by the other acts of care and love by the narcissist which further disallows the victim to clearly understand the pattern of abuse.
Low self-esteem
Victims of narcissists also suffer from low self-esteem since they experience constant abuse and gas-lighting. When their self-esteem drops, they also lose sight of their unique identities and instead change themselves to please the narcissist in the relationship more.
Decrease in motivation
Another sign of narcissistic victim mentality is a decrease in motivation levels. This not only refers to motivation levels at work or school, but even motivation to socialize with others and complete simple home projects.
Inability to make decisions
Living closely with a narcissist for a long period of time can also interfere with the decision-making ability of a person. This is mainly because the narcissist in the relationship would prefer making all the decisions for the household by themselves.
The constant pattern of asking the narcissist for their opinion can reduce the ability of the victim in the relationship to make a decision in their own lives. This behavior can continue long after the relationship with the narcissist has ended.
Problems in setting boundaries
A common sign of the narcissistic victim mentality is that they show a lot of inability to set boundaries. This is because the narcissist in the relationship will make sure that all the boundaries in the relationship are nullified and bent to their use.
This type of behavior can continue even after the relationship with the narcissist has ended. Those who have a narcissistic victim mentality may show no boundaries in future relationships and may feel very insecure when someone else sets clear boundaries for them.
Frequent restlessness or jitteriness
Being a victim of a narcissist is certainly no laughing matter. In fact, one main symptom of narcissistic victim mentality is frequent feelings of restlessness and the inability to concentrate on any single thing.
Constant feelings of anxiety
There might also be constant feelings of anxiety for those who have a narcissistic victim mentality. This is mainly because a relationship with a classified narcissist can be pretty volatile and explosive at any given time, leading to constant fear of arguments or fights.
Mental health problems
Apart from anxiety and restlessness, other mental health problems can also manifest themselves in those who have narcissistic victim mentality. Mental health problems can include clinical depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder and even eating disorders.
How to cope with someone who has Narcissistic Victim Mentality?
If you know someone who has Narcissistic Victim Mentality and are pretty close to them, your relationship is bound to have its share of troubles. Some ways to cope with someone who has Narcissistic Victim Mentality are:
- Try not to take it personally: The most important thing that you can do when you are dealing with someone who has Narcissistic Victim Mentality is to not take what they are saying too personally, especially in the case of an argument where emotions run high.
- Set boundaries in a gentle manner: Boundaries are often crossed in a relationship with a narcissist and their victims find it difficult to accept boundaries in future relationships. You can try setting boundaries in a gentle manner early on with them to make it easier.
- Try being more accepting of their strengths: You can also practice being more accepting of the strengths of the person who has Narcissistic Victim Mentality. Narcissists often override the uniqueness of their victim and therefore destroy their self-esteem.
As a person who is dealing with someone who has a Narcissistic Victim Mentality, you can try highlighting the unique strengths of the person often so that they focus on those rather than their weaknesses.
- Be there for emotional support: You can also provide emotional support for the person with Narcissistic Victim Mentality by just being there for them at all times. Emotional support often lacks with a narcissist and their victims seek this more than anything.
- Encourage them to go to therapy: Narcissistic Victim Mentality often does not go away on its own since the person’s self-esteem is often destroyed inside-out. In this case, professional help through therapy can be quite resourceful for the person.
How to cope with Narcissistic Victim Mentality?
If you have realized or understood that you are suffering from Narcissistic Victim Mentality, there are a few things that you can do to get out of these behavioral patterns. Some ways to cope with this mentality or syndrome are listed below.
- If you have Narcissistic Victim Mentality, perhaps the best thing that you can do is to go to therapy sessions. Through therapy, you will find the actual reason why you let a narcissist abuse you for so long and find permanent solutions for this behavioral pattern.
- You can also try practicing coping strategies often to deal with anxiety or panic attacks. These coping strategies can include breathing techniques, counting techniques, and even meditation and progressive muscular relaxation.
- Another thing that you can do for your mental health is by joining a support group. You are not only the victim of a narcissist and interacting with others who have had the same experience can not only provide you with emotional support but also give you resources.
- You can also focus on your strengths and your unique selling points which make you a person. You can even try improving these strengths slowly day by day so that they are highlighted and take the spotlight on your personality.
- One more thing that you can do is to focus on your self-care and self-love every day. Self-care activities can not only decrease your anxiety levels but also help in building your self-esteem on a daily basis.
Conclusion
In this info-rich post, we have discussed what Narcissistic Victim Mentality is. We have also shown you the signs of Narcissistic Victim Mentality and listed ways to cope with this behavioral pattern.
If you like this post, please leave your comments and questions in the space below.
Citations
http://www.sakkyndig.com/psykologi/artvit/marju2012.pdf
Title doubt here
